Legos from day one :-)

My Sweetest Mike, You are receiving this email one year after our very first date. :-) I am taking a big chance that this will be relevant a year from now, but here's to hoping! I know you have some inkling of how I feel about you now, but I have held some things back just because now is too soon to tell you and I would be jinxing us both, but I don't want to forget and I want you to know. What I remember about meeting you is walking up to Baker St Pub and seeing you waiting outside, in the freezing cold and looking very frustrated with your cell phone, because, if you remember, somehow I had forgotten my phone at home so I was not answering your call. Even from a distance I felt attracted to you and smiled, just seeing you for the first time was special for me, perhaps because I got a look at you before you knew I was looking and you were completely unguarded. During the following conversation I was nervous, but also really comfortable with you at the same time. I was actually relieved when you wanted to go to the Christmas party because I got to spend more time with you... even if I didn't know what a time it would be! lol I am sure we all remember the dancing and ensuing faux strip tease that topped off the party...but actually that is hardly what I remember most. What I remember is how I caught you looking at me a few times and I KNEW, just knew I had sure done something right. I didn't feel any pressure because it felt like a given that we were some kind of pair, it just fit somehow. Once we got to La Rumba and started dancing, you felt so good! Again, I was having a great time and something about you was reaching inside me and filling me with total happiness. The way you looked at me, I could read everything in your face, and I knew you were feeling it also. I remember those looks everytime I get nervous that this is all too good to be true, and I know it is true. No one was more surprised than I, when three times out of nowhere I thought "I am going to marry him!" I was shocked because I just DON'T do that, I just DON'T. I am not easily impressed or attracted to many people, and I think why I was/am so attracted to you is that you were completely yourself and spontaneous and so happy. Who knows if that will ever happen, either way I want you to know that you did that to me in the span of a few hours... simply and deliciously ridiculous... Kissing you at the end of the night was the most perfect kiss and end to a night I could ever imagine. Whenever I think of it I have two flashes of memory, one is seeing your eyes looking down at me, shining with happiness and pleasure. Another memory is seeing this perfect happy smile, just on the edges of your mouth and it was one of the most touching, real things I have ever seen Mike. I can't explain it, I honestly can't. The last memory is how we held hands even as you were walking away until finally our fingertips separated and I think we were both aware of it only then, before that I hadn't even been aware I was still holding your hand honestly. When I got home I just sat in the car glowing with absolute joy and happiness...I think I had fallen for you already, even if I couldn't admit it to myself yet. In the days/weeks following that date, I want you to know, I don't think I have ever been happpier or treated with such respect and honesty. You have no idea what this has already meant to me, I never knew it was even possible to feel this strongly, this soon. Whatever happens between now and when you get this, you are worth every single moment, and right now I can say I love you, and I think it may be the first time I know what that really means romantically. I can't explain this, I can't rationalize it, I don't understand it-- but I know I feel it without reservation. Your openess has been so powerful for me, and new! I don't know how to do that like you do, but know that my silences are more often me restraining myself from a burning impulse to wrap myself around you and tell you I love you and kiss you through tears of complete happiness. My silence is my last defense from completely melting in front of you and appearing to be an absolutely crazy person. I hope that when you get this we will still be together and loving each other non-stop, because right now there is no other place I want to be with you but the future, for a very long time. Thank you for all of it...I will never forget these things for as long as I live, I can promise you that. Love, Julie