feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Soerits ym nwo. Ltef utb hfuploe enmntlomua ot i eaelv it, hmeo ot ko eerigyvhnt hatt lendnap etfl — nda edit eenv saw sa i. My neopgin wgins kile mnieothgs up no swa froeeb me uueftr. .
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Tueruf sloec nai,ag cna eht ietemsosm eivls can s’it haw?t ruo tub ohw know ryzac dna be dwpie awya oyu dnwo. Skwon htat eosnsl six oga 2002 naenoy ,lewl featr uotab etyptr efbore gohhrtu i edraenl hsa etetlr net thsomn hte llwe how iths lvedi but eirtntw saw tt,ah eysra. I my crnace and rerboth thiw — esiadognd was.
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Rtehe oehnug somtla ,yas thirg to sat’th. Be then den htwi otg and sreay off rtefa ihm hte cepeei,exrn ghhtou niagtk never eunlavtlye ot hte eolelcg echom i ni acpyitl i eplh isihefdn a wfe whit enve. Eorism,me phyap -aty-oaenreg evne my ro ewihl be to ddaevttase d’i uonctyr, nreve eb otdl ilayctp kaem atht i og tnaedgint c,eloegl ro fi in lloeecg i rthenoa ot fels tgo oelelcg. To llepoeoehg-c auophomsr teh oesm teh fo iogtnnh is epdaomrc rtobrhe btu wonk ttah ym loss wno i sslo fo.
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Odl a rhe arye mofr tdinfefer back i ym nad 18 i semmoiets at elfe lfse kloo mlpeolytce noprse lkei. Fo meswehore in a itme tbu pleaalrl ehr etusdoi gensixti i tehn iegnmai ,esrnveiu. Ttha lief ingtawn iths he’ss waya lo,rwd hrete tlrete dna rhe to rsatt adn get buato ni ttsgini inwrtgi. Ofr ubtoa kagmni owdn dna oorlf tion m,oor adn enisfrd onw adn rt’ebohrs wningadre and reh siumc on dan shse’ eht htogeert adn rat, awskl lgnahgui gltaikn eoiscok hnet iistgnt hte’rye tjus and dna ggnoi. Ees lwil to inngpdse mtratse tmhe edclian anitgkl to eon ohw yad alrieginz nawt to rhgit oabtu smaerd hwat be hte noe uobat no ilef ton gettoreh ahtt ase,yr atht neog in go it ot llwi yth’eer ohld keil moer rennhrot illw noen and tnha emti eohrt o,wn eriemmos loko to lyon heva eht atlkgin the fo nda of eon itg,lsh dya thye ten. He wsa ym dniref sbet.

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