feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ym osetsir onw. Riyevnthge to i ,ti hmeo swa utnlmomaen — vleea hatt anpnlde eevn but elfohup ltef ot tdei as ok nad i telf. Leik oginnpe reefob up on wisgn eshtongmi my saw rfetuu em. .
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Donw nca tahw? idpew arzcy rou can ivesl nig,aa ’tis erfuut yaaw eb dna smimsoeet who konw but ouy olces hte. Oag huhogrt oatub ytetrp tth,a hotnms ivedl anenoy but ofbree le,lw isht saw dalreen ttlree thta 0022 i osslen yarse how het lelw sha nwkos etn ertaf isx twtrein. Rtehorb — my swa i enrcca nda iwth iaeddngos.
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Yas, tlosam uoghen hs’att to rethe irhgt. The omech nad fof gohuth leeauvlytn nvere lceeogl rfeat ni end eb enfhisdi thwi ot a ihm tagink leph twhi i neth eenv reicnee,xep ylcatpi ewf i yeasr got eth. Go eevrn e,llgoec fsel my atth or kmae taerhon odlt ot oceellg vnee apyhp tgo in eb i or gleolce gtatndnie eb ot momeeir,s d’i i tteavddaes ,rtynocu gty-aoene-ra lpaiyct ehliw if. Ohmoruaps fo eht othignn sslo tub ot taht pceaomdr i si nwo sosl of eosm ym ohtrreb wonk teh olcego-elphe.
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Orfm her eayr ym etfredinf old and enopsr eslf telelpcyom a i elef kacb smotemies at look 18 elki i. Rv,uinese tsudieo tneh ingisext ehr of i semeehorw alplelar meit btu a ni aegmnii. Get dan lefi tlrete sttgiin ehert h’ess in l,rowd asrtt adn ntagwni aubto ywaa hre htta ot iiwtrgn tsih. Iengrdwna miangk tboua or,om rat, nigitst hte ’ehss ofr hten kesoioc btreo’srh dnwo nad olrfo dna geetorht nad adn noti ustj igungalh lkatngi nda adn wno asklw erh nad sumci no e’retyh going nad nfrsdei. Htna ethy ayd ot onge teh orimseme noe go touab be lhod ot yda zealgnrii hrneonrt mtie none thirg it kloo rome to hrotgtee wtan will ese pndnesig onw, of klagnit dan ilfe fo ot ayes,r thta necadli nad eon ikel eth hmte lwli ithlg,s neo hatw iglknta woh het wlli taht to oerht mdears raetmts no ahev rhe’tey otn uoabt nte loyn ni. Asw eh sbte eridnf my.

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