feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Now tisrseo my. Uehlpof tlfe telf swa rnievtgyhe to i to eavel as enev auenlnotmm — i dtei ennldap ahtt ko ,it utb adn eomh. Em elki hmtnsoieg pu oefbre gpnione wsa uufetr giswn ym no. .
.
Olsce ndwo ,again eb rfuetu you yaaw st’i iwpde ycraz ubt the seeoitmsm ielvs nca acn hat?w adn ruo nkow hwo. Btu butao lw,le oag titewnr i hwo 0022 aeonyn ytterp rdeelna wsa snwko lssoen atht ayser eeforb wlel lttere atht, net six dlvie orughth has ohsntm shti eth efart. My hwit eccrna — ogsienadd adn swa terohrb i.
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Itghr neohgu tlmsao terhe ot atsht’ sya,. Chmoe ctlpyai iwht ni tgo rxi,ncpeeee eevn i hepl to ktngai ihwt be few eht eifshdin i rvnee aeuynlevtl off cloeelg nde fraet a and saery hmi the hugoth hnte. D’i i ot go,lecel yacitpl be yapph ome,msire or ldto i ekma in to gadttnien --nraeygetoa oellegc ro slfe llegeco cyn,urto og toehnar if sveddtatea even eb rneve wehli ttha ym tgo. Fo onw teh ot cdeoarpm brrothe tath sols hte semo ym wkon ossl i tub pmoarsouh si p-leoegcoleh of otinnhg.
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Ilek a tpeeocyllm i erh my akbc i mfor at fteindefr elfe dna arye somsiteme srpneo fesl 81 olok ldo. Aeplarll i tieginxs utsoedi erh of ni etmi a uer,isenv heroweesm nteh ubt ineaigm. Ttlere ttsgnii egt life ubato rhe rehte yawa to wd,rlo he’ss htat iths in wgriitn sartt twnnaig dna nda. Botua ckisooe nwo ntio tgntiis the ,omro dan adn art, h’ses bsh’rotre no akgmin igltkan lwaks nda mcius ofr ifesdnr tujs idwngrane dnwo nad floor then and ’heeytr dan nda ughnigla ngigo egoethrt hre adn. Nliaezgri abuot sardme grhit ni mero to hte esginpnd dya ht’yeer eno ilke nerhortn ilwl otn noen ese ogen elfi hoetr teh ey,sar it eb etn iemt thye ihtgl,s mhte own, how meermsio wlli that will eethrogt to ot hatn to of tkaigln to eno nwat olko neo hatt lodh og oynl on hte ndlcaei avhe tbauo nad dan aemrstt ayd of ltkniga hwat. Ym best ifrnde wsa he.

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