feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ym wno itssreo. Oeanmtmnul ko i,t ufolpeh elave to adn fetl ftel wsa as neve i — ot vyeintgerh tbu i hemo adplnne eitd tath. My ertfuu giswn ikel ogseinhmt was no feeobr up oginpne em. .
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Oru be ’ist seocl teh nwok tub aczry can eislv ywaa aig,na awht? emissmtoe can woh edpwi uufert nwod nad you. Rtguohh 0202 hte ldreane that osknw i xsi hat,t bouta wsa yarse titwenr lsoens nyaoen ohw sah rbfoee freat yttper net wlle thsi dlvei telret tbu htosnm lel,w aog. Nad — wiht ionegsadd i canecr ohtrber aws ym.
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Htrig as,y rhtee to stlmao ’tahts ugehon. To ihwt ned fnheisdi dna etrfa tog eb ehpl ocmeh nveer thhugo elgcloe kgiatn eht teh itpyacl off eceernxipe, in ayres mhi hnet i i neve a htiw wfe eunlvltyea. Amke tgo go fi geeclol i svtedetdaa oe,glecl or ’di ni eeglcol ot eb rnothea hatt oyrntc,u om,smiere my enevr niagtetnd be ot eilwh naeg-reoyat- or actlyip i yhppa oldt esfl vnee. C-pgohloleee fo aroushopm wno osls to ym eth loss ecpdmrao fo ttha i nonthig smoe but ebrthro si nwko het.
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Rhe i i feel 81 ekil ym osmmtsiee frmo etocemlpyl nad a arye ernpso cbka fsle oolk ta dol teffdnrie. In odetuis eixitnsg ietm ealapllr erh fo ubt a emheewsor se,veriun i amgiine htne. Ehs’s teerlt arstt hre nda irnwtig ow,ldr herte ielf away ahtt ot egt in nintwga isth buota adn tnitsgi. Shse’ rnedfsi rfool gtoetehr dna gkanmi noti wdraeignn sgintit omr,o ligantk fro utsj hnet dan oiggn atbou hre nda won slwka hggilaun ndwo the rtro’bshe okcisoe on eryt’eh dan adn dan rt,a iucms dan and. ,yrsae tnaw fo eno ylon hte ehy’tre eht ktinlga who rmeo dya fo nad flei ten mtei ahve dhlo atwh illw memoesir olko eon nhoretrn tmhe eon on ese to hatt ot ohgreett og butao igtrh no,w lnigtka to ethy eohrt athn be ogen llwi ensdgnpi buota to elik inzlraeig and in etmtars hatt reasmd aeicnld it eht liwl ont dya ot hsg,itl enon. Saw he erinfd estb my.