feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ersiots won my. Emho tied ok ot to etlf as lnednap ttah nda i ltfe — eleva thgernviey pfloeuh wsa ,ti i btu enev molutnaenm. Ingws gtesihomn no efbeor retuuf leik me up ym npengio swa. .
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Owh nad eth ouy can tub eb onwk oitmsmese ?thaw csloe ’sit eurtuf nac ipdwe ycarz ng,iaa ruo waay sleiv odnw. Elwl nssole i owh buato rptety t,hta eredanl eefrob inrtwte ahtt terfa asw sha uhtghro skown gao xsi iveld tsomhn utb yrase neynoa ten ,lelw treetl teh htsi 2002. Rcncae ym saw i hiwt igndaesod — nad hrrobet.
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Hgrit ltamso sa,y ot erteh ’shatt eghuno. Eytaneluvl ecloleg nad aysre neve got ot lphe het uhtogh evner gankti i tefar dne iwht fof dsfiehni then ni ihm iwth cmoeh cplatyi i het be einecxr,epe a ewf. Ahtt ro ipyaclt nvere paphy lco,eleg mi,eeosrm my dtnteigan aeore-y-gnat vene gclleoe ni ewihl id’ eb aeohnrt i elgeclo aemk og tgo or tdol i ot ot if eb etdtsvdeaa esfl ru,oycnt. Nogihtn ym pmrouosah lhoeeloe-gpc esom wno nowk hte oebhtrr to sosl of het si i tbu atht ssol capmerdo fo.
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Mfor i my 18 akbc erh year mtmiosese oklo oenrps eefl i ta sfle feernitdf a llyopctmee adn ldo liek. Ehr ubt itme ,suvnerie pallealr ni emereswho iisxetgn of i hnte dieotsu aenmgii a. Atubo wtiingr w,lodr in egt dna ses’h satrt itsh erh ot gitntsi nwnatig tlrete ilfe trehe dan atht wyaa. No ioggn gtetheor r,ta adn now gaigunlh oorfl nttsigi waslk winreagnd efsndir katnigl etnh rfo her atoub kooicse hte h’ses ndwo and tsju rth’eey btrerh’so angikm nad iton dan ,rmoo nda and nad dan iucsm. Nkgtail oubta the tanw moer ees ot loko of adn of to meth nhta the yhet illw morseemi one ttah ogne heav ginnedsp uabto noen yad atht ciedaln be yonl to samedr eon ayd who in leik illw ot ot llwi miet neo ,rsaye ktngail thwa reoht gthetreo it hldo eht dan gt,hlsi iengzlari on not horertnn t’heeyr tne tgirh go nw,o trsaemt elif. Ym btes eh nfdrie asw.