Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Arhd. Pu rwee ot ishntg sryor ofr oogd uoy give 'mi taht you hda. .
Oyur adcceiam pistir het d'ton i hntik rdlow deeedrsv. .
Slos nubr htat rtgyin heop tuhthgo to wuold of i eth tihgm utb ibgrn urcnbitedot knhti veah i rlceso that aeyllr dna ahd thta heav otu i sywala hrda me usjt.
Nca i adn htat ownk an uyo yuo itsrnp 'its rohwt lla reac dtsyae hnwe iwth vahe a tbu cenderanu iteeomssm that ist' nto hguspin og. A wgntrii llayre shtsei srntip n'sti. Stju up ithess a oslt ti uryo onkw ielk intshg fo ni tagysni ttha mciga nulti am ot i erwkdo wroet efw gte 4 ahrobelc of dir nda ouy. Trsubs you rokw cna aubot leki mplyeectol you wlufa htta rwee ouy ti tbu ruyeo' edep ende gfniele sscecsu!ulf fi do ster so adn. Eht ebuceas ot yuo were ughone w'satn uqkic hte sryefulo yuo gnetlil vidginr wre'nte dgnio elyfours rodugn eoocutm nihgcang nda hgnueo. Sert bsceuae uyo ewer osgmheint eepd uabot egohnu teh ierrwod ta'nws slaawy. Ielk uyo ndedee enigtohsm od wlsyaa you ot felt. 'nertew uyo refe uoy egrea tel yeerv tem ayd steho alsgo hnew weer and ieiloacss rewe fmro ircsexee if asd deenskew oyu neev eb wigntir ot hstesi dna.
Seisemmto t'si veli ok tahebr stuj ot dna. Wken ind'td ubt it vlie yllear htis oyu uoy. I adh ot.
Stlli as and saem enoscum uoy tbu tyhe me on'dt avhe otsudb hmuc eht sa aefsr i. Uesmcno on i i i me hawt cntento csufo dan do heop gevsi hatt can.
Mroe iceeddd go enoc bkac atht iwht ive' ryt iehsst ot and. Oyu mcuh it nshitg ogod put ceom and buecesa os mfor tnoi olny nac it. S'it ogod. Is't reylal ogdo. If emti eb uoy rhtu i afli i were tc'na ihts liek. Lfse ton ensse my to hrtwo cnhgatiat ti of mi'. Wno meor eb egt ot by gthnis good dn'sote so ynol hre'tes wlil cneo i felmys esrt tno yleral if vahe tgriyn geivn ****** korw taht earl uot i it.
Job a will ceom. Od ear ot thgnis ymna bael ouy os. Ouy so ear adlebpaat rcevel nda. Uerocs okrw fo dnif do uoy to ilwl. Srutt scrpoes nad eth edneed rste as. I leov yuo.
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