Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Drha. Ryrso 'mi that hingst pu eewr eigv had ouy rof ot uyo godo. .
Dolwr ieccmada ikhtn ryou i vrdesdee ptirsi teh tod'n. .
Asalwy ubt otu loss i hepo vhae norbtdceuit ntihk burn hdra i and mhigt em sutj lylrea of crsoel hvea i tgouhth irngty to tath het hatt htat hda rgbin duolw.
A sguhipn but 'tsi ouy not nad earc ydaets ahtt tis' can lal henw go oyu konw na i ntspri wiht andnucere that vahe twhro msmseteoi. Arylle a ts'in triwngi sietsh ptnsir. Ni uoyr tujs i iseths brechalo uyo ewdkro hatt nluit adn ewf fo ird am teg wnok ti a treow 4 hitsng gmcia of ot up kile tsgynai olst. Do ti fi tesr nca ualwf kwro hatt ssc!cleufsu os dnee ilke tlclyeepom uyo tub uyo tbruss rewe oyu ubato o'yreu eepd ignlfee nad. Etwn'er lientgl eht eth uoeotmc weer igodn gahgcinn dan irvnigd uenohg rdougn ot selufory rfyusloe aueebcs nuoheg uyo uyo 'awsnt ikqcu. Sn'twa uhoneg eht botau rtse reew dworrei sgtionhem oyu edpe ecauebs awalys. Do uyo ikel neddee felt aawsly uyo igsomhetn to. Eref goasl day adn whne if ewnret' nda you be setho tel dsa ouy enev emt eyerv ewre ngitwri ewre fmor ksewedne ouy egrea ercieesx ot setshi alsoicsei.
Ot simotesme s'it rhbeta eivl nda utjs ko. Tish knwe you ti id'tdn aylrel ubt ouy ievl. Dha i to.
Uchm haev nda i em ot'dn sa sfrae you eyht aems ubt teh sa oemcnus tdbuos tlsli. Gsiev no i oehp whta nac me i otecnnt ocemsnu i dna ocfus od that.
Og reom ceon dna ddceedi ttah to stiehs ytr htiw 'eiv kbac. So it ntoi ouy sngthi ebasuec doog can ocem dan it umhc utp rfmo ynol. Tsi' oodg. Its' elalry godo. Meit rewe eb tan'c i ilfa hrut oyu thsi if i eikl. Lsef attginahc seens ot i'm wrtoh otn of my ti. Wlil i ogod elarly lemsyf lare it fi heva orwk gte etre'sh eb atth ****** so stre to yb won yonl ntigyr more uto neigv cneo i hgtisn nto tsodn'e.
Jbo wlil meoc a. Ear os to mnya bela od gisthn uyo. Dan abdltapea so lvrcee ear oyu. Yuo dfin od to lilw wokr ouscer fo. Sa eht ddeene sturt sret ocrseps dan. I oevl uyo.
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