A letter from Feb 19, 2025

Dear Future, Me, This is your past self-reminding you of what you overcame to be the best version of yourself keep going. You have endured a lot over the past 14 years **** your entire childhood adolescence life. You were in an abusive relationship because you needed to learn what self-love was and the meaning of boundaries because you had none care bear. You did love the light side of this man and the light side of yourself, but later discovered his shadows were only a reflection of your shadows. You later manage to escape the monster of this relationship, and you tried to keep running because you feared the monsters in the shadows, and you were afraid but 4 years later you learned that you cannot outrun the monster in the shadows because the monster is within you. You tried to suppress the shadows like the guilt, abuse, betrayal , bulling, low self-esteem, scarcity mindset, suicide, pain, anguish, disbelief all with a smile because some how you just knew that if they really see your monsters they would not love you for those ugly parts because you did not love those ugly parts you were embarrassed of them and felt worthless. But you later discovered that the beast within was a metaphor just like the movie you watched from Beauty and The Beast that if you accept your past mistakes and forgive yourself you can be whole and beautiful again because your ugly monsters are now your beauty scars, they have helped you become your divine self the love goddess the alchemist. Sure, the journey has not been easy you had to let go of all the things you have built under false pretenses you had to let your relationships go you weren't truly showing up fully anyway, you had to let go of your job with limited income to take a sabbatical to heal your soul you were about to die both spiritually and physically , your home, your car, your belongings, your image, your entire identity. It's OK care-bear it was not your fault! you built those things on a faulty foundation. You had to work through your inner childhood wounds, YES! the one with your father that kept attracting the werewolf to you and the one with your mother that told you this is the best it gets you deserve this. You had to understand you were doing the best with what you have in the circumstances and that your parents and their parents and all 4096 of your ancestors were doing just that to bring you to this earth. You had to release years of trauma in the time the MOST HIGH had allotted to you wisely you have done this through counseling, free lives on love coaching, Sankofa meetings, talks with spiritual tribe of friends talks with yourself and a somatic therapy session that made you want to lose your mind. Credit classes and credit work, group circles and training with what you had you have been showing up piece by piece with the best of what you had endless nights of searching TikTok and the internet for answers because you truly wanted a new identity for you and your little children that depend on you. You had to learn that you are the currency even when others said you were broken including yourself and this uttered your vision of yourself and more. But you have grown care-bear you have made major progress in transitioning your life by the time you receive this your past self will only be a memory of who you thought you were. You deserve it all care bear keep going I am so proud of you.