17 sai no thema: To my 20 sai no jibun

Dear FutureMe, today is the big day. I turn 18 today, which means I'm a legal loli now. I visited my old elementary school yesterday, and I felt nostalgic and emotional. Everything that happened flashed before me like in a shoujo anime. It was raining. Perfectly matching my sorrows. I would do anything to be that happy little kid again. Everything has to change, everything is gone. I'm normally happy on my birthday, but not this time. All I can feel is sadness. It feels like my life is over. I didn't get to have my amazing summer at 17 like they do in idol songs. I have wasted the 2 best years of my life. Is anything meaningful anymore? I don't think so... The days before, I spent listening to seishun songs as seed fell down and wind blew in my hair. It really was like a shoujo anime, wasn't it? 17 sai by Minami Saori can't be my theme song anymore, so now I'm going with Eighteen by Matsuda Seiko. But I have done a lot, haven't I? I played the main character in a school play. I will never forget that. Also, I debuted as an idol. That's probably the most awesome thing I have done. I loved standing on that stage, performing for a crowd of hundreds of people, despite all the suffering that led up to that day. I have played a lot of roles in my life. I have been a daughter, a friend, a student and an idol. I used to dream of becoming a Princess as a child. I think I still have that pink dress somewhere. I remember when I used to run around and play, waving my wand and shouting magical attack names, dressing up my dolls, fighting pretend evil, singing Disney songs. I just want to return. I'm stuck in the past. But I still have hopes for the future. I'm going to release a song about not wanting to grow up. The title is As the flowers bloom. I put my entire soul into it. I hope it will be successful. I know that would make you really happy. Please listen to it once you finished reading this. I hope you are a famous idol in Japan when you read this. Our dream of performing at the Nippon Budokan before turning 18 didn't come true, but maybe we can do it before we're 20. Let's aim for that! Also, I wanna see how you look! Have you gotten skinny? Are you even cuter than before? Is your hair long and really big? I guess I can't know before I become you. But I will try to make you into a cute girl and an amazing utahime. I hope you're doing good! Ganbare! I love you, so keep being awesome!