A letter from April 19th, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, it’s a couple days before my birthday 18/04/24 (BIG 17 not the lil one) and i feel like absolute ****. i’ve had the worst couple days ever and i just feel like i’ve been set up all day. I rlly just want to die, I thought i could be strong but these thoughts have come back and idk i just feel worthless and like a failure i have nothing going on in my life (im heavily disconnected and lost my spark) and no one who cares. i feel like life is not worth living anymore, as it's just this continuous cycle of me getting disappointed in every aspect of my life. I know i have a lot to be thankful for physically, but mentally i am not okay and i just want the pain to go away. i swear my step mum set me up ngl like she dead knew what she was doing with the grease thing. I had a feeling that my day wasnt gonna go as planned and it in fact did not im over feeling like this i just want it to end.Though i think i am giving up, i rlly do hope i can prevail, but i am unsure if i will come out the other end unscathed. if you made it and you're reading this i do hope life is better .

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

Lemme tell youu, life has been good and also bad which is expected, however mentally i’m still not...

Be kile ylealr gierindmn orf( sfmlye of)c mmmuy ot utfuer eb uolwd os tyr i tsmoipciit i eepk nda i eht ot wyh heer eerhw uobta ma. Dhlo dna het agrb giikcnk uni glrnenia tbu my cnke to hte bene by rygint ev’i my yk etcnotn *** sah dna nebe tospeiirri. On fyslme diritosriep i ahdtyirb ysa gib my icl ionkogl it’s onw dyuts befroe h18t ta dan fo wto s’lte m’i kirs fo ym nasetid ehrots ysad utsj and. Perwo me oen sallow as ot iydrbtah lal sit i yalrle grace ihntg rof sak yb eh ym tihs ahve slhaal iivedn and but. Ofr h’atnve pyahp 🌚 as cna eary, gnigiv irtde i vloed th’ats ihtw isht oilnokg ysitlst os hatnoer hgimt l paces + i evi’ ti kiel ik a btu be anm, egt em ehva st’i eerf aosl ’im ubt ym so a teka ysub eorsspne to puls leki the nsoe gi ti vrveide ngpedisn r4sh2 to. .