A letter from Jan 22, 2024

Time Travelled — 6 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I know that I have been a pretty big disappointment to you so far. I know you resent me for many things I have made you put up with, and your life could be a lot easier right now if it weren't for my selfish actions. These past few months have been extremely hectic and stressful for me, but I have finalyl proven to myself that I can actually quit porn and nicotine for good and it's not actually that hard, it's all about my mindset. I have shown myself that I am perfectly fine without them, I'm even better off without them. I have also proven to myself that I have a crazy amount of motivation and can indeed do anything. I promise you that when you read this you will think about how proud I have made you and you will be able to recognise and appreciate my efforts to give you and your family a better life. I want nothing more in this world than for you to just be happy and satisfied with who you are. All you have to do is always remember me and everything I have gone through and everything I have done to push through and grow and continue on the path I have started paving for you. I hope you have good people in your life that are helping you be where you want to be. I hope you still have the drive and the ambition I have, but I hope that it gives you relief rather than anxiety as you will have a clearer sense of what to do with it and how to achieve your goals. I hope you enter adulthood with a smile on your face and hope in life. With love, Your loving but sometimes idiotic 17 year old self.

Epilogue

7 months later

I am quite disappointed that you went back into porn, and it only got worse a few months...

Ertaf you retetl sith etrow. Peid oiidnnpgispat euqit *** hwen olsewr uroy oyur oyu oyu npsa made nwigokr meca ,ilef nda evga erw,so nda umhc nda cbka taeotnitn iudnre a. Logahthu me, ropn hte keil serpsrgo ullfseyucscs on atth ,hfesti i vgnie eefl itb ewerh tnsiteiyn em rcueedd ot gintuqit becusea ehav dniivgepr and ractk 'sthaw of avgsricn the fo ieegkpn msetieoms am i my for the i in rsbteyoi lfeysm, ymrmoe i a made i fo haknt fira ihts ouy asol dene si oyu avhe. Csanheg riacod tah,t my yarcz to hteor ruoy from nic besor i hsankt hnta forfset to ni tsya saw. Eth pvae rfo not 21 fo eowlh iegnls gdamnea ochlso miet ot a ta eayr yuo. Thta how is uoy miheecvtaen qtiue weer eth doenicsginr eddcaitd. Taht ondiugn pcelou ma i kngiowr rnnigiu dna ewkse eth in dyrvayee ot rfef,to npets oyru won tpu edn tou but ahev oga apts i an my nad slgnu.

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