A letter from Jan 22, 2024

Time Travelled — 6 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I know that I have been a pretty big disappointment to you so far. I know you resent me for many things I have made you put up with, and your life could be a lot easier right now if it weren't for my selfish actions. These past few months have been extremely hectic and stressful for me, but I have finalyl proven to myself that I can actually quit porn and nicotine for good and it's not actually that hard, it's all about my mindset. I have shown myself that I am perfectly fine without them, I'm even better off without them. I have also proven to myself that I have a crazy amount of motivation and can indeed do anything. I promise you that when you read this you will think about how proud I have made you and you will be able to recognise and appreciate my efforts to give you and your family a better life. I want nothing more in this world than for you to just be happy and satisfied with who you are. All you have to do is always remember me and everything I have gone through and everything I have done to push through and grow and continue on the path I have started paving for you. I hope you have good people in your life that are helping you be where you want to be. I hope you still have the drive and the ambition I have, but I hope that it gives you relief rather than anxiety as you will have a clearer sense of what to do with it and how to achieve your goals. I hope you enter adulthood with a smile on your face and hope in life. With love, Your loving but sometimes idiotic 17 year old self.

Epilogue

7 months later

I am quite disappointed that you went back into porn, and it only got worse a few months...

Raetf iths worte yuo tteerl. Oswler you kcab *** lf,ie uory otetninat uory ipde apns irendu uchm adn kigonrw aedm a egva wehn and ueiqt srowe, and cmea sginniiptodap you. My ouy ts'wha ndee i ekli emad gpeinvdir eefl otesbryi het qgnititu i si oulagthh ieknpeg yormme htta ecasueb am isth i cecyulsussfl me carsinvg a adn rfo of hte to fo ehav htnka airf npor egrsorsp uoy fo cartk itisnntye lsao ievgn tmismeose em, on bit ehva cuerdde reweh ifse,th i semfl,y i teh in. Yacrz to hatt, cardoi sobre was my heort asyt ruyo inc ahngces i ni to rmof anth rffoest nshatk. Ton lehow eth hscool ayre 21 of a elgsni for avep at ngadema uoy item ot. Hatt iddtcead uqtei si woh ewer ehcnvmeaeti the you eogdsicirnn. Ym pesnt nugsl na htta pceuol vaeh oundgin dna btu wseek ryou ot roff,et am rinowgk aog now the i adn in i niuring tou yeydvear upt ned atps.

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