A letter from Jan 22, 2024

Time Travelled — 6 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I know that I have been a pretty big disappointment to you so far. I know you resent me for many things I have made you put up with, and your life could be a lot easier right now if it weren't for my selfish actions. These past few months have been extremely hectic and stressful for me, but I have finalyl proven to myself that I can actually quit porn and nicotine for good and it's not actually that hard, it's all about my mindset. I have shown myself that I am perfectly fine without them, I'm even better off without them. I have also proven to myself that I have a crazy amount of motivation and can indeed do anything. I promise you that when you read this you will think about how proud I have made you and you will be able to recognise and appreciate my efforts to give you and your family a better life. I want nothing more in this world than for you to just be happy and satisfied with who you are. All you have to do is always remember me and everything I have gone through and everything I have done to push through and grow and continue on the path I have started paving for you. I hope you have good people in your life that are helping you be where you want to be. I hope you still have the drive and the ambition I have, but I hope that it gives you relief rather than anxiety as you will have a clearer sense of what to do with it and how to achieve your goals. I hope you enter adulthood with a smile on your face and hope in life. With love, Your loving but sometimes idiotic 17 year old self.

Epilogue

7 months later

I am quite disappointed that you went back into porn, and it only got worse a few months...

Etrlte twreo yuo farte hsti. *** ipsoannipdtig onnttitae oyu hnew you ,sorwe abck sapn dan rewsol idpe a i,lfe edniru caem emad rouy eagv yoru nda ucmh quite nad iwkorgn. In edma bcaseeu pdeigirvn vneig wheer i eth nede fo i of haev uscufclsesyl oyu on for tlauhohg ttqignui a adn ot alos onpr ma keil wh'tsa i tanhk s,thfie ym eymmro hvae ouy si ibt gsoperrs genkipe i het i of htta lefe frai sthi rtack em canisvgr curedde teh eortybis elsfm,y nsyineitt imomsseet ,em. Ot asyt nic iaordc rsfoetf tanksh fmro ot my tath, ni reosb geahsnc i yrou swa tahn otrhe zcary. You sgilne vape 12 yera a ohoscl of eht at ton ofr lhowe tmei neaagdm ot. Ctddidae ewer si oyu ohw atht euqti cnatvmeiehe nioidegnrsc eth. Vyaeyred atht edn i yruo to my aspt i ehva roiwgkn nad tuo orfetf, rinniug na leocup duiognn tbu the tup ma won ago tnpse seewk gusln ni adn.

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