A letter from February 1st, 2023

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi. I just wrote a lot. I replied to my past self, but I also wrote another letter today that should be delivered on September 9th 2023. I am doing homeschool right now. I hope you can remember those awful feelings from January-February 2023 of crying myself to sleep without my phone and being so miserable. This is the worst time of my life. By a mile. I have never felt so depressed. I am planning to go on antianxiety/depressant meds and I am seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. I tried to overdose a few times. I lied to everyone about it. Then I thought of jumping out of the balcony. I hope 15/16 year old me is over those feelings. I want to become a better person. I hope in three years from now I’m thriving. I hope I am still alive. If I am, I am going to ask some questions and although I won’t be able to see your reply, and take your advice, I want to be able to reply to myself, in the sense that I really can take the advice before even reading it. First question: how does it feel to have no braces. I’m not insecure about my teeth and hate them and want new ones and what not, but I don’t love the braces. My next questions is this: are you still reading? Not just reading for school, but openly buying books and reading them to fall asleep. I just finished flowers for Algernon and it was really good. The next thing I want to know is are you writing? I was thinking about either making a journal, or just a full on book..or maybe even both! I wanted to call it Mentally Fat. Because, I am, In fact, Mentally Fat. I thought it would be just about my life and the struggles since kindergarten. It could be similar to flowers for Algernon, with fake (but real) progress reports as if they were starting from. My first day of kindergarten all the way to where I am now. I could continue it for a few years with the “progress reports” and see how it turns out. I hope you follow through. I want to be someone when I grow up. Not necessarily famous, but I want to make a point in this world, and grow up to be really smart. I want to be a lawyer and graduate from Northwestern university or UPenn. My next question is how are the dogs? None of them died right? (Hopefully) Any new ones? Who is working for us as help? I cannot imagine Christina is still there. A really important question coming up..What school did you end up going to? (I am going to give a brief warning that there will be a bunch of popcorn questions starting right about..now.) Did you leave after 8th? How did you manage to stay in school? (If you didn’t get kicked out) How is hockey? What do you consider your “main sport” as of today? If you didn’t leave after 8th and stayed for 9th, did you make varsity club? How was commencement? Were you field hockey/hockey/crew/any other sport captain? Probably not hockey, but I am expecting field hockey. This text question might trigger a weird PTSD. No more mental hospitals right? Especially not Charlotte Hungerford I hope. Were you Mr. Przygocki, Mrs. Giese, or Mr. Greens prefect? How is Charlotte? Who are your REAL friends? That’s ok if you have none(which I don’t expect you will) but right now I have none. And that’s okay. I’m dealing with it. My trusted adult right now is Allie Molner. I am happy with that. I already wrote the conclusion to this letter but I want to edit it and ask a few worldwide questions. Have you moved houses? Have you gotten a new phone? What new phones are there? Any pandemics? Have any family members died? I am going to end the letter now and I imagine you are not thrilled about that, but I encourage you to write one today for it to be delivered in just about 3 years or so, and make another one next month to be delivered soon. Also, when you write back to me, please make it long. Although I will not see it, I feel that you will respond in a wholesome way. By the way, have you blown up on tiktok? My recent tiktok of Dallas just got like 500k+ views and I am VERY proud. These are really fun, and emotionally therapeutic too..be good, xoxo Georgina at 12:34pm from feb12023❤️

Epilogue

about 1 month later

Hi. It’s been just over three years since I got this letter. Some answers:
No braces is great! Got them off over a year ago.
I don’t read as much...

Ymaneor. Aigrned hsgnlei atllio rof. Osoo icpdek it it ofr ti ikle si i btu hoolcs and.
I ’otdn tewir. All at.
Infe, uayclatl sgod rea. One edid on. Ftel jegdu few a oag osmthn. Knhit sevne gao nmhsot uaytalcl i. Tgo omm fo mih edtir. Yunfn yuo ihrisctan tiomnne. Ehs lfte in 2042. Ni lhewo tweneeb a ew i ucbnh rateenttm whiel saw ni dha. !that yuo for i mnthos ni okwn ot’nd tdd’in 22 home ocne oh entmreatt tuaob and saw go. Suekheopere ahrctisni mciogn was cesebau ckba htr!gi tinothg owh ruo ylclaatu eiretnnstig egarc sevripou e,ftl is. A hsa uelocp here for ebne a tnkhi ahs yaers. S’seh doog.
As entemtrat i ieetnmdo,n ot wetn i. Satled ot omfr diemdl of that mieddl fo th9 t7h het. Otlitn etnw fro in a teh so fo tub teh hte iwhch vlaee ewn a ni mltetuialy ot i olhsco i rest ,01th srmahhpei ,h9t mtapett eucdisi and felt trtsead ot had adh tophlsia me rof weke. Teh week ti oh tisrf wsa ta w!lel ’im won lohcso… fo fnouis. In tyci ady eno sti’ ocsloh nrnaelgi hte a edos taht on neo. Cirhb lrbobpya y,aer niogg xtne ’im ot. I onw to the rbeeemrm reew fi oyu oduwl akpsgeni rghit mnea you. Ether enwt lriceah. Wwo uoijnr !erya. Hinkt be i seroni li’l oto ayer erhet. Ntsaw to em syutd ni dda ym aecnfr. Iwat lecolge itll i ktinh il’l. Olegecl cego!lle. .
Baceues uemrys eernv abuot tenw usisoetqn i bkac dirrnediasgg the.
Gnlo dna tilnu ti stla i ucdol og setyda i emho fro i ht9 ot urtedrne i as tihw dgear sa arye in saw did tcuoh newh tcemcnmemeon her easceub abb’ys. Fnei asw it. Icne but was kdaraww ,neeroevy a ti gesine i ussge tlitle. I sremuy i ptopeds wehn sotrps ftel nodig. Ihktn yehokc ofr i leats onw ta don’t 3 sreay ve’i eplady. Know i. Alybrpbo yod’u eb dohckes. Sdaonwya otuba ondt’ i tub to caer uegss be deus i t,i sapeotisna i. Tbu ielfd prmbtseee sida alts i ekoyhc had tredtas to colsho lveea i sa. Nda erwe etihr eorsin nleaydm mona hte for yaer cinptaas. I lduow ti enbe rethe onma nda btu me ’wnast ahve. Me dotl bayb. .
Eanltm sphaitsol. No stdp. Eys tps,d rtgreedig llwe mi’ ton ubt. I nreev hc wtne tenunoctcic hpaliots ni kcba to. I to eiv’ etwor i wno nebe tihnk htsi 6 ceins 5 ro. I aneiv asw os wow.
Etefpcr no. Htcrlateo ifne si. Reh i yabs’b nmnmeocmeect wnhe juen i saw ot newt ni. H?mnst?o ’cnta i usjt oleupc ss’he a oldcu blveiee uoy agdnartuig in. Erh stal hnitk ehs yaer like ifled mar eokych niugdr i obekr. ‘42. Uhcgta mr twih reneg pu. Em eh nwok i esmdis. I doulc tell. Iefl eotgtn lroed eiv’ stuj it is givnmo i no atrp sa of das ltoshe,yn was ubt irazeled. Ddi i on’td itkhn hat,t so utoab mih fneto jstu adn i. Ta tlaalyuc lal. T’asth dan ko. Mi ko.
Suehos not mveod hvae.
71 hneoip 1,6 gto wno eth.
Isdpanecm on.
Agtre lsat gnadmar eidd amy.
Dnmi eetlrst no’dt eht i thta ahy,e dnegni. Aehv ot my oerm tewir i lief olehw.
I atyonma ggnoi nwta hcwtniag im’ now otn asw suaeceb twier to tghir nad cninuote seyg’r dan cbak ot. I id,d wdenta btu ucbaees okwn oyu em ot i. A i lcdou tasp nad fles pareepdr and tnxe be ocsme igev siwh hug kecubl dan ysa hwat rof i pu ym. Inrgawn ,em a odclu eaprrpe etlitl bnee ntihogn eavh wdlou escbuae ubt cnie. I eyra lowb ago up c,ataluly did no toktik a. I are,ttmnet oolk in as isghndih,t eht ilngiv bcka wsa ceon tspa fmor bkac in i i gto. Rtos adn hda i etfl i ndbehi wrong up, nvoyeere was fo zieldera. 13 2230 eikl dol fmro a raey. Itnd’d eary lutin i lzreaie adn ti a laret. Gitetgn ym ichngnga mohe of i adn prolfei darby i terpcui eno 2220 fmro to ermrmebe nad. It 2052 asw. I but opstho i had msel,fy no fo nhgtnio dah. Rnayemo dan i ti zeirela 2220 wsnt’a i’ndtd. Me evmdo dha touhitw on eelopp. Hourg atht saw aysy,wan. Wkor tkhin did a it tisem og rialv no and i derti tikotk lpocue to i. Ohngnti hthugo rayzc. Oll dalsla tuncaoc hte hacked gto. Rceshak iltls ncaih nru in esom yb up tub tis’. Psot ts’i heyt fynnu i tub ’ntod hiknt. Sutj tgsnhi herew if a ayok w,ctie is ywa eu’ryo npahpe agdrein mseo be taht erteh in plrlaale uiseernv l’ylou iths wkon ro. Lwil tuo ekma adn it ouy. Oyu theer eb wlil l’youl it lwil ontd’ ubt eiitnyeldf ihknt hweer tou, meak mitse oyu. Saecube idd ti dna hwo i od i nowk?. Amed my ielf i tsrkdae ti tiems eht of of stedepe uot. Tno is pcfeter ti wno trgih. Ta lal. Otn noe tib. Sulrgsetg i ynma haev lsilt. Dagtner, ubt do ta i twah i otko it eusbaec im’ notip won eahv rtefluag nad knwo od ttah orf orf noe i to not. So cayrs oooooos ilfe si. S’ti hurtt the. Jtsu eekp g,vonmi no e’vi ouy peploe evha cbeuase osensl igbtesg g,o hatt coem nuoct npph,ae nda teuait,llym rneal,de odanur eth to si sihtgn is teh ickst nad uoy nyol erve ornspe tub tbu to oefryuls. .
.
Uyo i love.
Sninigg off.
.
Mahrc 6022 - 6,ht :m553p ogre,naig.
💕.

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