A letter from February 1st, 2023

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi. I just wrote a lot. I replied to my past self, but I also wrote another letter today that should be delivered on September 9th 2023. I am doing homeschool right now. I hope you can remember those awful feelings from January-February 2023 of crying myself to sleep without my phone and being so miserable. This is the worst time of my life. By a mile. I have never felt so depressed. I am planning to go on antianxiety/depressant meds and I am seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. I tried to overdose a few times. I lied to everyone about it. Then I thought of jumping out of the balcony. I hope 15/16 year old me is over those feelings. I want to become a better person. I hope in three years from now I’m thriving. I hope I am still alive. If I am, I am going to ask some questions and although I won’t be able to see your reply, and take your advice, I want to be able to reply to myself, in the sense that I really can take the advice before even reading it. First question: how does it feel to have no braces. I’m not insecure about my teeth and hate them and want new ones and what not, but I don’t love the braces. My next questions is this: are you still reading? Not just reading for school, but openly buying books and reading them to fall asleep. I just finished flowers for Algernon and it was really good. The next thing I want to know is are you writing? I was thinking about either making a journal, or just a full on book..or maybe even both! I wanted to call it Mentally Fat. Because, I am, In fact, Mentally Fat. I thought it would be just about my life and the struggles since kindergarten. It could be similar to flowers for Algernon, with fake (but real) progress reports as if they were starting from. My first day of kindergarten all the way to where I am now. I could continue it for a few years with the “progress reports” and see how it turns out. I hope you follow through. I want to be someone when I grow up. Not necessarily famous, but I want to make a point in this world, and grow up to be really smart. I want to be a lawyer and graduate from Northwestern university or UPenn. My next question is how are the dogs? None of them died right? (Hopefully) Any new ones? Who is working for us as help? I cannot imagine Christina is still there. A really important question coming up..What school did you end up going to? (I am going to give a brief warning that there will be a bunch of popcorn questions starting right about..now.) Did you leave after 8th? How did you manage to stay in school? (If you didn’t get kicked out) How is hockey? What do you consider your “main sport” as of today? If you didn’t leave after 8th and stayed for 9th, did you make varsity club? How was commencement? Were you field hockey/hockey/crew/any other sport captain? Probably not hockey, but I am expecting field hockey. This text question might trigger a weird PTSD. No more mental hospitals right? Especially not Charlotte Hungerford I hope. Were you Mr. Przygocki, Mrs. Giese, or Mr. Greens prefect? How is Charlotte? Who are your REAL friends? That’s ok if you have none(which I don’t expect you will) but right now I have none. And that’s okay. I’m dealing with it. My trusted adult right now is Allie Molner. I am happy with that. I already wrote the conclusion to this letter but I want to edit it and ask a few worldwide questions. Have you moved houses? Have you gotten a new phone? What new phones are there? Any pandemics? Have any family members died? I am going to end the letter now and I imagine you are not thrilled about that, but I encourage you to write one today for it to be delivered in just about 3 years or so, and make another one next month to be delivered soon. Also, when you write back to me, please make it long. Although I will not see it, I feel that you will respond in a wholesome way. By the way, have you blown up on tiktok? My recent tiktok of Dallas just got like 500k+ views and I am VERY proud. These are really fun, and emotionally therapeutic too..be good, xoxo Georgina at 12:34pm from feb12023❤️

Epilogue

about 1 month later

Hi. It’s been just over three years since I got this letter. Some answers:
No braces is great! Got them off over a year ago.
I don’t read as much...

Aoreynm. Fro tlaloi giredan hnielgs. It it rof nda tbu keli ooos it lohsco si i kidpce.
Odt’n i witer. Lla ta.
Dgso rea en,fi luyaatlc. No one dedi. Mtohns oag a gjdeu tfel efw. Htkin ago i alluctya tnohms senev. Fo ogt mom imh terid. Omnetni funyn iihtasncr yuo. 4022 tefl esh in. Ni i we ni swa ewlho ucbnh twbeeen hewil emrnaettt a dah. ’dnto i uyo ohem ho !tath atmertnte 22 nsohmt aws ’dndit in go buaot nda owkn noce rfo. Ctayllau prkeeeuhose htgonit tinsgerneti argec our let,f esrouvpi csebuae si asw tcrsahnii mgcion who !rghti ckba. Hree has ahs nebe sraye rof a epclou iktnh a. ’sehs odgo.
Went ot i i ntamtteer as eo,mndneit. Omrf imdled tledas 9th ttah the 7th ot of fo iemdld. Of tnltoi a dcuesii dtatser lfte but hte wen eewk nwet sptalioh me eht iseahphmr i dha 9h,t dah evlea to ni ni adn ptetmta so rste i tatmeylliu 1h0t, clhsoo to ofr a chhiw eht ofr. O…hsloc ewke ti at snfuio elwl! rfits now ho het fo saw m’i. Ayd ni s’it scoolh sdoe ytic oen a no rginnela het noe thta. ,raye bablrpyo ogngi ihbcr ot im’ xnet. I to oldwu eth if yuo ebeemmrr amen own kignaeps eerw rihgt uyo. Hetre netw ihercal. Wow ioujrn arye!. Ihktn arey ll’i riseno eb too i tehre. Syutd nswat ot my dda em ecfnar ni. Oeclleg nhtik l’li itaw illt i. !lcoeleg egeollc. .
Oaubt sinueotsq yrumse i eth abkc erven ceabuse sgaidgnierdr enwt.
Egrda iltun i th9 sa og stla in uoldc ’ybabs ihwt i idd fro i oemh ot cthuo nad sa i nutrreed ewhn aeuscbe erh eyra tsdyea ngol aws ectemommencn it. It nfei wsa. Teltil suseg drkaaww eeovnrey, asw enic i ensieg ti a btu. Dpeotps mruesy i ewnh trspos nodig tlef i. Orf lesat 3 e’iv ldpaey won i n’tdo ehckoy tinhk yesra at. I kwon. Lbbrpayo be ud’yo ehckdso. Ugsse ubato dyasaonw i opssainate be tbu i reac i it, t’dno desu ot. To bresempte tals i asid olshco dha tbu rtdaets idelf eaevl i as cekhyo. Aeyr fro eth mldnyea nda ehirt tanaipsc ewer snioer maon. Dna ubt ’stanw tereh oludw it i veah naom enbe me. Oldt em bayb. .
Iohtlsspa lmenta. On stdp. Tno dt,sp grgirdeet mi’ sey tub llew. Plhostia hc i cbak rneev wtne ot in cncecinttuo. Enisc to 5 6 i hist ikhnt enbe i wno rtewo or ive’. Swa ivean so wwo i.
Epefrtc no. Is efni ecrlahtot. Aws i jeun in ot reh etnw enhw tocceenmenmm ysa’bb i. Ldcuo oyu tcn’a stonh?m? levbeei a i sh’se jsut lucpoe ragauitngd in. I hckyeo amr beork aery fldie ilek stal dnuigr ehr kinht she. 42‘. Pu wiht egenr ghacut mr. Oknw i siedms eh me. Lcuod i tlle. Was ogmniv das t,nysehol drelo eifl ldizaere tbu tsju on i ti sa fo vie’ trap ntoegt si. Ithkn tujs idd i tath, uabot him ’ndot i nda so oneft. Ta lytaaclu all. Ok nad tta’sh. Ok im.
Vahe edvom ton ueohss.
Gto phnoei now 16, eht 17.
Aemndicsp no.
Tlas yam atger mnardag ddei.
Diengn ,aehy ’dnot midn i ettsrle teh ttah. Oerm wetri i eavh ewhol to lfie ym.
Ayamtno nwo nad oinectun natw geyrs’ caebuse noggi akbc adn ’im itrwe to i nhgcwtai ton to htgri was. Btu i ot me did, ownk i ebaceus oyu twaedn. Asy hug nda fels pu smoec eeraprpd my ucblek i nad atps tawh rof xten eb ucdol a i eigv dan wshi. Dlowu bene cien a me, rpepaer ausceeb gnnwira dlocu but tnohign elltit evha. Oga i did up kttiok lbwo a on reya ayc,ullta. Ogt i bkca iinvgl fomr bcka eht ni i dihhg,istn stap ocen ,ettrentam asw ookl as i ni. Dah i u,p of neeoreyv dna saw dierelaz rost etlf owrgn bhendi i. Ldo arey 2302 13 a form ekil. Nitdd’ it and etral a i reya zrieeal nlitu. To dan form i my ohem ctruepi eirlpfo of ebmrreem gtetgni nda i 2202 agngnich ryabd noe. Ti swa 5220. I intngho fmes,ly fo no i ahd adh tohosp tbu. 0222 nad ierazel rameoyn dt’dni i ti wta’sn. Ahd me dmoev elopep oiuthwt on. That ywasna,y saw grohu. I arvil tiems i ti to hitnk okiktt go orkw nda ddi no idetr oepclu a. Crzya notinhg tuhohg. Ekhdac cunoact ogt lol eht sllada. Tsi’ yb llsti btu urn akchres pu in oesm ainhc. I nyufn ntd’o ythe hitkn ubt spot s’it. Tish terhe fi is atth ehpnap ryu’oe uyoll’ ywa msoe in or vneresui rwehe arlpaell jtus be ayko wkno hsgtni cwt,ei a eindrag. Wlil out ti kema nad ouy. Yuo eteifyidnl ilwl uo,t reeth wlil ’uolyl ti eb eitms eehwr ntihk amek tub you d’ont. ?ownk dna i hwo it od caebseu i ddi. It eth fo out atserdk of i eedteps maed ifle my teism. Is eefpctr onw it gthir ont. All ta. Tno eon tbi. I still ehav mnay rustsggle. Rof to rof but ti ng,teadr i i’m fratulge dan wno ta inpto not esacbeu do eon nwko wtah that evha od i i tkoo. Efli is sayrc so ooosooo. Tuhtr het ’its. Dna ubt oyu learedn, ’ive ot no ivm,gno tonuc teh aonrud kpee eplepo ubt oyu eahv g,o uerolsfy eerv seeaubc egtsgbi si si emoc a,lmitytuel eth that sujt epp,han tcski tgnshi senrop ot nad yonl sonles. .
.
I oyu olev.
Iigsngn ffo.
.
- 2620 5pm3:5 th6, igngareo, rcham.
💕.

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