A letter from Nov 28th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I hope you're doing okay. right now everything might seem messy, but you need to hold on to the hope. y life today is not quite what I expected. My job is not what I thought my job would be - I always knew I wanted to do something creative yet I always thought I would end up with something academic. I know that I enjoy my place of employment, but I am still struggling to find out whether I just love it because of my colleagues or because I actually enjoy doing the work. , I thought living with my best friend would be different - it has been amazing, but yet I thought it would be different. I am about to move out on my own again due to her travels and I find myself looking forward to the quiet, yet I know I am going to miss living with her. I see a lot of positives to living alone now that I didn't appreciate the first time around. I also thought that my dating life would be different, I enjoy him and we do have fun when we're together, but I often find myself struggling with how to be around him - especially on SoMe, I feel annoying when I text him, I feel clingy and attention seeking when I tell him my struggles, I feel pushy when I ask about his day, but I just want to be that person he tells all his small details to - the things that made him smile, or laugh, or feel doing the day, I want him to let me know when he thinks of me, I just want to be his person. I often struggle with feeling lonely, but I also don't think I've quite accepted that I've reached an age where my friends can be 30 year old men from Syria as well as 19 year old girls from my local town - I am an adult now and friendships are way more diverse than the ones you're forced to bond in schools. I work nights so it's hard meeting people due to my daily rutine, so I think I should embrace the contact my colleagues offer me. They are all so kind - Ahmad, Rajab, Chris, Allan, Martin, Ivalina, Stinna, all of them - we chat and laugh and joke round almost everyday and they do help with keeping my mood up. I hope I get close enough to a few of them that doing stuff in our free time is more of an opportunity - I would like more diversity in my life, but with that said there are also so many people from my past that I would like to recreate friendships with. I've lost a lot of connections these past few years and I'm starting to realise that many of them meant more to me than I thought they did. I think I am going to work on my social life as my next big thing. I hope you're doing good, and still working on keeping yourself happy and if not, atleast working on getting back to happiness.