A letter from Nov 22nd, 2021

Dear Future Me, are you ok? I'm tired. My body feels sluggish. I just want to sleep in my cosy bed right now. And I am sleepy. I guess I had enough sleep but I didn't sleep on time. It's because lately, I have been so concerned with how others think about how I look in a recent post that I made on Reddit. but truth be told, the responses changed a little bit part of my life. I feel more pretty and desirable. I had never felt that. I had never felt so happy about myself although I do know that there are next steps. I must be fit. I must be toned. I must start the gym. My partner isn't interested in the gym. i don't blame him. i don't understand myself. why is it so hard for me to do and act on things that I like to do? why do I need a partner to do it? I don't. what am I a baby? I'm not a baby. I am pushing 30. I have been very hesitant since I was solo. I have big fear. Why and what. What stops me? can't I just start moving and don't look back?