A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Hpode ti uyo dlwuo seeair oenc like mallciagy. Yamn ys,aw ft,ac ni ti in otg revihea. U’evyo kind out acerird taeh,rakrbe se,skbcta loud dnto’ butao and of pelpeo latk onteaiolm ahtt somt hte ewgith cnnofos,ui. Ehre adn rae tilsl you tey. Ginyrt sltli. Noohsgic rtush ewhn slilt vene it tebret,.
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Tsih fiev naherot yesr,a btourgh olwrd uuiteblaf the toni lief uyo in ptsa. Nwo rea a fo teerh theomr ouy. Woh ot etltil reeht and snhaum esya,ft oolk igneucda for uyo ,evol. Uoy emht reeialz elef yuo ouy smeo anth are how a,dys ggiivn roem sdipete.
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Rgeaadtud idd yuo - uoy gitoemhsn ecieibdnlr. Ahwt ouy ni lsbepmiosi dfniesih elft ,0522 cnoe. Wea be sryea duowl yuo ?oga rgyevnhite wno in osverin htta ohw of adh hse of psto yuo ot.
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Hatt uyo rtofh ouy adn has daem oyur ot and htaer tstede utoghh ni velae teh cabk lde,epy pisrtlanoihe even aiagn bene sha a uldlpe ccohie. Aeskewns a wnas’t taht. A trsghent was thta. Ogrwht asw thta. Le,orufys tfel nweh eenv adn atth uyo it saw nucetrina ngeiifrrty iohscogn.
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Wnko itrhg nwo tols i feel you.
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Tesb okwn sa uoesfryl ogwshin hev,ya of i dan uory lkei iensrvo up ikds efel al,dsotie for y’uore yuo not eht. Thta waek eelf uyo cludo rhvegnt-oi npaeph kwon whsi you o,welh hapyp, up nad nda oducl erfe jtus i glenhai.
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Utb kwsor t’hsta how not stih. Emna yore’u atht stdone’ iingfal nad.
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Eon bakc ear seqaur at uyo nto.
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How own sootl hsa era uyo eesoonm. Eaerswans. Xipeerence. Nobdreaius. Yuro efel enve uoy era ypsdtou— rltonlcoed by duol nillybd now fi egnbi dc,o aigan royeam,n tno dnoepirss,e tgrih ehtm eyht yuor yuro eoegzcinr ,axietyn ruyo.
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Otn a neil aelginh tatrgshi is. S’ti seyms. Ti olsop. Asupes ti. Rsartets it. It htiyenrev,g like eefls nuedno adn uoy smmeiseto atvhn’e yuv’eo tub.
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Oyu awonm btauo gr,sont rowte ear taht listl enoc ouy tiiesnelr.
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Atth yeur’o cylaua,tl now emor anht.
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Waht rptaa oyu to ebcusae gonig flsee nwo it lilst llaf wnok ekil dan kepe.
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Uvaisrlv iilbngdeur hu,ttr fo mfro ear ruyo not ilef a alpec uyo.
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Oury emit to ladlwoe keat aer uoy.
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Ofuhelp time efel ouy ta the to das nad easm era eodllwa.
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Ti tuo rae aevh ouy reiugfd ot laodwle lal ton ety.
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Hwat etmtars this: is.
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Rea tiynrg yuo.
You shigoocn tertbe ear.
Ouy rae lstli eerh.
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To dpour fo ttha eb igsotenmh dan is.
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Skdi ovrensi ndee etprcef ’otdn you uyro fo a.
Oen eden a rlae ehyt.
Eno lhneiga a.
Eon a roggwni.
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Ear tcaexyl uyo nda si ahtt owh.
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Ginog kepe.
No dsay the euitq eevn.
Hte sdya neev no hevya.
Not lkie enev kamngi ’oyreu rrepsgso oyu nhew lefe.
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Uoy are abeuces.
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Tihs eht- flee of you idrpe lkoo and vnorsie in nioasscomp neo lwil noe uyo day, het uyfseorl hucm ta will tsitign rgnistta nwnuonk, os noa—erdv bcak.
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Ton ostl you rea.
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Ldedim in era you of cmgbeoin hte.
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Vlo,e wiht.
Em 💜.

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