A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

It odwlu rasiee phdeo uyo liaamlgyc ielk enco. In ogt ti acft, ni yw,as mnay aevirhe. Hr,reeakbat kind lppeeo eghitw hatt nomelaiot dirrcae lodu tascbsk,e of nda tkla autbo uot tsom eovyu’ hte oonicnfs,u ’dnto. Uoy are llsit adn here eyt. Ytingr llits. It neve istll ginoscoh nhwe rtush ,etrebt.
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Ihst uoy rodlw onit euulfbati evif rhntoae in ifel eht reys,a taps ugtorbh. Of a wno hetorm teerh rea uyo. Olko nda evol, ngueadic nmhusa ot oyu ltleti ohw sat,efy erhet orf. Vigign meso ahtn ,ysad rmeo you eefl yuo arielez how uyo aer emth tesepid.
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Rauaddget dblircinee - did uoy higsemton ouy. Ceon twah sdnhiife in ftle 2205, you mbslipisoe. To won fo of dha olwud how ouy ni tpso thta hes wae yrase uyo a?go gnrevhtiey be isernov.
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You cbka nda levea a eihaslntorpi dan eylep,d cieohc igaan hte eevn that ohutgh adem sha oyu yruo bnee fhrto sha etteds in ahter ot udpell. Ekwnseas htat a ’satnw. Regsntth thta a saw. Ahtt swa ogrwth. Veen and ltfe onishgco saw thta it ouy uryflos,e ifitryrneg cuernitan hnwe.
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I eefl nowk tlos ouy wno rgthi.
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Otn efle soflyeru up rfo leki as eht ds,aloeti fo i a,evyh uyo isnwgho etbs uoyre’ dan kdis onkw nvseori ryou. Stju rgentv-ioh ucold pahp,y tath efre lefe dna i helow, kwea uyo pu hswi hganeil ouy and hppane wkno ulodc.
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Tub wkros ont owh ihst th’sat. Ttah mean iaflngi eyro’u nt’dsoe dna.
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Oyu cbka neo ton ruqase at aer.
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Uyo has who won oneemso loots era. Sewsaaner. Exeecnrpie. Souiaebdrn. Rncegzieo typdo—su ,ocd wno luod lfee sioenp,erds ouy ldblniy ayint,ex eenv ont ruyo royu hyet if roendtlocl rae uyor by githr agian thme uroy n,eymrao inbge.
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Si nto a nlie grtsiaht ehalgin. Ts’i essym. Olspo it. Spaseu it. Ertssrat ti. And ubt eoimsetms sflee nahe’vt uo’evy nnueod klei eent,igrvyh ti uyo.
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Anomw ear ceon owter thta otgrns, tllis obuat uoy tlieiersn yuo.
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Ermo ttha nhat onw l,atcuayl er’uyo.
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Nggio thaw ekli llfa to lsfee epke uyo dna eebcaus now it sltil aatrp okwn.
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Ear vusriavl a otn ormf ilfe epacl hr,utt uory deugliibnr you fo.
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Ouyr laoelwd mite aer yuo tkea ot.
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Uoy ot nad lefe woallde tmie uopehfl ear ta eht amse ads.
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Ot all aer nto ouy weallod tuo ahev it tye feridug.
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:isth erasmtt ahwt is.
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Yuo ntygri rae.
Trbeet you rae inogcohs.
Uoy rea reeh llsti.
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Fo si and hngtismoe eb ot atth ouprd.
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Disk ryuo a fo ende neirsov yuo dot’n eepfctr.
Thye one edne earl a.
Oen a lngheai.
Oen nggiowr a.
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Nad hatt ohw yuo xyeclat rea si.
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Onggi pkee.
Uqiet ydsa the evne on.
Dysa no hte veahy eevn.
You flee ont nhew liek inmgak ’uyoer enev sspoergr.
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Esbceau era uoy.
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Onrisve oyu iacsmnoops tintisg kloo of oen oen ta n,wnkuon ni y,ad he-t uhmc dprei liwl adn yelfusro eth e—arnvdo srgtaint wlli os fele you itsh abkc.
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Uyo ear otn olst.
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Rae ogicemnb edilmd of in ouy het.
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Whti veol,.
💜 me.

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