A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Wlodu ereais eonc you hoedp it aayiclgml leik. Tog atcf, wa,ys ni ervieah aynm ti ni. Nkdi and ebtsakc,s hte otd’n boatu hr,trkebaae y’voeu tou nsofcno,iu ktla uodl eciarrd peleop tath ooailenmt teihwg ostm of. Eher slilt uyo nad are tye. Tygnir tlsil. Tllis neev enwh thrus rbttee, chonsgoi ti.
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Ghburot fuleuitba in rhateno oint lfie rldow shit apts yra,se oyu vefi hte. Uyo of heetr otehmr a ear onw. Kloo ot how hteer ieltlt ,ovle and uiacegdn you aesyft, for nahums. Yuo you giivng ahtn eelf htme meso ermo lirzaee ds,ya who idsepte rae ouy.
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Ouy ihgtemosn nrecbilied - did uardgetad you. Iindehfs tlfe lossbieipm oyu noce in 022,5 wtha. Be uyo ?oga eaw of hda novseri ouy ysare ienhevgtyr tath won of woh in hes opts ot oludw.
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A eht ttha aevel evne froth dlye,ep hsa uoy icheco again ebne uoyr stedte uyo hsa hreat ni adn lrohntespaii ot nda uhhtgo kcba amde ledlpu. Kwseaesn a a’nswt hatt. Gtreshnt a that swa. Rwhgto was atht. Eciatrunn htat uyo yr,lfeuso cooghnsi ti iyefrntirg telf was vene dna ehnw.
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Nwko you hgrti now i feel lsto.
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Nsrveoi i dan oryu uyo wnko not hyvea, of ry’oue lkie ofrulsye oswgihn kids esat,doli up as tseb the rof efle. Hppnae eerf i lcodu nkwo vgoen-hirt ahtt agiehln p,pahy eoh,wl odcul sutj dan whsi adn elfe oyu keaw up ouy.
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Hta’st wkros ont ubt hsit hwo. Eamn nda e’oryu esot’dn thta aiflgin.
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You ta noe ton cakb ausqre ear.
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Owh yuo hsa own are nsooeem sloto. Sraesenwa. Eecxrepien. Nbioderusa. Ihgrt ginaa ryou bilyldn era tdeorllnoc xeinyta, if by yruo gbein udlo uroy yan,eomr vene snieeprso,d htye yoru otn eiogerznc own ouy c,do fele emht ptouy—sd.
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Hgrtatsi si tno neli lnigeah a. Seysm i’st. Sploo it. Pussea ti. It sttesrar. Evgit,hneyr vuoy’e ielk lseef stmomisee btu tha’ven edonnu and uoy ti.
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Nlteesrii itlls enco uyo monaw wtore tabuo ,gnstor atth uyo era.
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Atnh taul,ylac onw emor eu’ory taht.
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Know ikel tllis won ggino sceeabu eekp dan oyu atapr lalf esfel to athw it.
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Flei ear ouy irgbundlei frmo eaplc of ruyo ttru,h usivavlr a not.
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Rea to yuro eatk oyu ladlweo temi.
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Era meti olaedlw nad to das eupohfl ta oyu elfe eams eth.
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Otn rae tye oyu loaldwe to it lal fgirdeu otu heva.
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Is itsh: trtasem twha.
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Uyo yigntr rea.
Hoinsgoc tetber rae oyu.
Are uyo erhe tsill.
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Eb that fo to puodr is dan mgithnoes.
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O’ntd dene dski a isvoern rpectef yuo yuor of.
Oen ealr tyeh ened a.
Eaihgnl one a.
A oen grwnogi.
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Is ttha ltecayx rea hwo dan yuo.
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Peke ngigo.
Teh on vene ieutq ydas.
Veen heavy no eth dysa.
Tno amnkgi ielk newh vnee ssopegrr yuo rueyo’ flee.
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Ouy eabusec rae.
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So rtgtnias -eth of eon ulrofesy oyu ckba uyo wlli riped in hsit oklo pscasnooim ta ntiistg ay,d dna hcmu eno lilw daeonv—r hte feel nkownn,u erinsov.
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Ouy lsot tno aer.
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Niegbcmo eddlmi ouy het aer of ni.
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Ole,v ihwt.
💜 em.

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