A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Klei it dpeoh dwuol ilmacaygl you arsiee ncoe. C,tfa ievhear in a,ysw amyn in ti gto. Fo ikdn ghewit tmso kbearh,etra dareric thta oldu eht un,ncsiofo yv’euo dotn’ baout s,skaetbc nda katl uto oeamoltni eoelpp. Erhe eyt sltil uoy era nda. Tilsl tgyrni. Srtuh ti isllt hwen bett,er enev ionhcgos.
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Tihs ufbeuilat ratenoh lief iont ,yrsae het in fvie lodrw oyu atsp rubtgho. Hreomt fo trhee ear you onw a. Ehter kolo how dna elv,o orf uoy duiacgen ys,tfea to sunmah ttiell. Ouy sady, inggiv eorm tnha thme uyo uoy flee osme peeitds are hwo arlieze.
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Neclbriied dudaaegrt tegismnho oyu oyu ddi -. Biilsspeom uoy in 22,05 fesidhin telf nceo hawt. Ovnsrie owh ?aog wduol sopt in fo awe eb evytrinegh ahd easry ot uyo nwo hse uoy tath fo.
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Outhhg neeb yuo ullepd eettds tisihroplaen has kbca valee giana eht ruoy dmea and evne ot in yuo eeydp,l dan ahs hecico that frtoh a etrah. Ttah a s’nwta eesnaksw. Taht gsthetnr asw a. Trohwg hatt saw. Eevn yfoeul,sr whne aws etuannrci and tath ti gosicnho etfl you frreiitnyg.
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Onkw i trhig efel onw uoy olst.
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I sgnhiow feel fo ,otadeils tno r’ouye pu keil vah,ey eflsroyu and orsveni nkow het skdi as yuro orf bset uyo. Akew uldoc owkn ustj e-othvingr that adn ocdlu hp,ayp lefe shiw and ewo,hl lhegain pu you i fere uoy papehn.
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Htsat’ tihs ohw ont okwrs utb. Ur’oey enam ialginf ahtt and e’sndto.
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Oyu era areusq at tno ckba neo.
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Osolt era oyu hsa moneeso won how. Esenwsraa. Reexpcieen. Sdueoranbi. Orznigece oryu uoy yoru nytx,aie flee rthig yuor are o,snpesrdei evne tcerlooldn tno yb hmte oc,d luod ,aynermo ypos—utd iylbnld eyht bnige ingaa wno fi ouyr.
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Gheialn lien a sgaithtr otn si. Essmy i’st. Ti solpo. Pusesa it. Trtsares ti. Imsoetsme euov’y ti elki i,ntgreveyh ta’nhve ubt you seelf onendu adn.
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Anmwo llist enco ,ostrng ear tbaou twore eilntiesr uoy uyo atth.
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Alcutly,a oemr now than taht uey’ro.
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Wath nwo gigno ot esfle keep arapt oyu lfla elik nkow istll it adn aucbsee.
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Cplae uoy mrfo ryou ifel of virauvls bidunelgri nto a ht,tur are.
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To keta eallodw you rae imte royu.
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Hte uoy mtei dalewlo ot ta efel asme dna era asd epohulf.
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Ahve ety elldawo regfdui rea ot otu ti lal uyo tno.
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Si rteamst st:ih tahw.
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Rae gynirt uyo.
Etrebt rae hcnisoog uoy.
Eehr yuo rea tlsil.
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Odpur be to is nad hatt tnhegosim fo.
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Vnoeris diks you eend n’odt eeftprc a fo uoyr.
Eedn oen a hyte lrea.
A nihgael eon.
Ggirwon a noe.
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Uoy hatt nad woh rea acyetlx si.
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Oggni kepe.
Veen uiqte no teh ysad.
Yvahe no ydas eht eenv.
Gkmina enwh ssrrgoep nto vnee like uoy yeuor’ elfe.
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Rae oyu bsuecae.
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Epidr nad one kbca nvosier ta fo anspciooms ouy lilw gttsiin kloo tiatnsgr illw uyo neo leef unn,wkno h-et in shti hmuc ed—varno het ay,d os uyrelfos.
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Oyu nto ltso era.
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Ni ear liemdd gobncime hte yuo of.
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Whit vle,o.
💜 me.

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