A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Ti oyu cnoe resiea opehd yaimgllac lwuod leik. In ogt ti many fat,c asw,y ihearve ni. Eth ttah odn’t alomeinot of tou oudl ceirdra tubao lakt stmo ue’voy ihgtew dan fuco,oinns nkdi epploe ahrarb,keet cb,stekas. Tsill eehr uoy tye rea dna. Triyng ltlsi. Trbe,te eenv it stlli nwhe hsrtu nocsgioh.
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Siht ae,syr uhrtbog het atps elftabuiu in tenroha vfei uyo rlodw tion file. You rmehot are onw a three fo. Dan olko f,tseya orf ltleti erhte olev, hwo smnhua to gnaducie oyu. Oerm efel uoy oyu igngvi you athn esmo mhet syda, dietesp ear rilezea how.
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Htsgionme darueadtg ouy - yuo idd nclbereidi. Ni enoc 205,2 moleipsisb uyo wtha tfel dsihfnie. Ptos uoy yersa fo of ni how to sionrve be ouy o?ga ienytrvghe hatt oulwd onw awe esh dha.
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Ouy ckab hftro yruo adn coehic htear eettds ash enve teh a nad ulldpe dmae hhougt uyo ,elpdey in aigna eneb evlea ttha ash esnphalirtio ot. ’nawts kaswnsee a htta. A nesrgtht was htta. Wtrohg htat aws. Dna fyeoslru, ltfe wsa wneh that ti you sogcnhoi nvee ryngtriife nnraeicut.
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Onw ihtrg elfe oslt wonk uyo i.
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Y,vhae iadleto,s orf y’euro adn as i yuro ont ikel fo uoysrlfe wnok steb up dkis elfe orviesn hwoisgn uoy the. Pu riht-nogve htat eefr i ocdul hwe,ol nda ouy oyu pephna ihsw nda elef pa,pyh oculd tujs wonk waek aeilghn.
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Ont at’hst utb isht okwrs who. Mean and thta iifganl etno’ds u’yeor.
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Kabc neo ton rea ta uyo qersau.
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Won osoenme toosl how has aer oyu. Neareasws. Xrceeepien. Dniobuasre. Tyduso—p dco, emrayno, won ingeb nx,aeyti yuo ould ouyr yuor bydilln if yb rhgti dtlneoorlc lefe oury naaig yuro ds,esopirne rea geezioncr not etmh htey nvee.
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A tno hgstatir ehliang si nile. ’sti msyes. Loops ti. Ti espasu. Etsasrtr it. Hrngvyiee,t elik it mmtssoiee but yovue’ adn eunodn heavtn’ uyo lesef.
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Ocne amonw rea iltsl oyu bouat nrgsto, ouy ilnierset worte taht.
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Tahn rmeo won ahtt ury’oe ltuac,aly.
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Ikle owkn to now esaceub uyo ti feels allf rapat twha inggo and sltil pkee.
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Lacpe rfom t,ruth a yuor of lefi vruilavs ligerdbniu nto you rae.
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Etim you oruy rea lweldao ot etak.
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Rea dan hflupeo oaldewl seam asd emit at oyu ot teh efel.
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Ouy otu rae ehav ont to rideufg all it ety eolwlda.
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Whta maretst si i:ths.
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Ouy ear yringt.
Era hcnisgoo uyo beetrt.
Eehr era stlli uoy.
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Is be dna tgeosnmhi of ahtt to ourpd.
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Crtefpe skdi t’dno fo ryuo a osveinr oyu eend.
Ndee noe eyth rael a.
Aghinle a one.
A one inwgrog.
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Ear hwo and tath eaxtlyc oyu si.
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Peek ogngi.
Veen on aysd eht euqit.
Syda eht aevyh nvee no.
Mgakni wnhe soerrpgs eelf ’roeuy nto yuo keli enev.
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Ear uyo csubeea.
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Rnao—dev dan idpre at het of ucmh kloo aicspmoosn ackb in lwil tsgtnii neo so yad, yuo oyu tgisrtan ht-e lefe will reisnov resyuolf unnno,wk ihst noe.
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Otsl ont uyo rae.
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Rae eht fo leddim iobecgmn ni ouy.
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Iwht evol,.
💜 em.

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