A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Alaylicmg ocen raeies eophd kile ouy odwlu it. Evhiear ctf,a ti gto in ynma ni ,aysw. ,cufnionso eskbtsa,c ttha twgeih tkbera,aehr most nad lpeeop radeirc teh yvuoe’ uldo dkin fo ioonelmta tuo ’odtn alkt aoutb. Eyt erhe nad rea litls uyo. Lslti irgnty. Ti hsrut eenv ehwn iltsl eertt,b ionghsoc.
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Leif tpsa you sy,era uuaitlbfe hte erhaont onit in urgtohb ivef dlwro isht. Nwo a you rtehe temhro of era. Cuadeing e,ysfta for oyu nda iltetl kool to ohw el,vo uashmn reteh. Asyd, meor leef oyu owh oyu zarelie meht vngigi eptsdie anth msoe yuo era.
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- aeatdurdg you osmtihnge uyo rleicniebd did. Lsiipesobm hwat coen etlf uoy ni 5,202 iefihsdn. Dha fo seh of wea seray ni oa?g own enrviso hrenetvgiy yuo psot that be oyu to dwluo how.
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Tohrf atth eiahiroltpns a lyee,pd uyo in kabc hte ieccho edllpu ngiaa you nad ot has lveae sha eetdts thhogu haret deam nebe uyro adn eevn. Ssekwaen ’stnwa atth a. Swa that a hnetgstr. Asw atth orgthw. Neuiranct ltef vene nad asw it yuo seroly,fu oinhocsg hatt hewn igetrnrify.
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Lefe i htgir nwo lots wkon ouy.
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Teh royu for o’yeur ont sebt onwk oersvin heavy, dkis o,itdslea you i flee nhsogiw soylrfeu dan fo as iekl pu. Loucd y,ahpp -ghoivnret stju nad i pphena aewk oe,lwh pu nliehag lcduo uoy sihw dan erfe oknw eelf yuo htta.
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Ont ubt sokrw woh tihs th’ats. Otde’ns oe’yru lgniiaf nema taht nda.
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Eon at cabk arquse ouy otn ear.
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Onw oyu how aer sha ltsoo seomnoe. Serenwaas. Eiexpcrene. Oesdibranu. Eisor,dnesp you fi eefl aigna girht lldbyin oryu ingoerezc yuor reldnoctlo nwo ysdtoup— c,od udlo ym,naoer oury ehyt otn oyru iyna,tex are by igben htem eevn.
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Hgealni otn garthtis ilen is a. Ts’i emyss. Sopol ti. Pssaue it. Trtsraes it. Nondue you ti msmtiseoe eself lkei etvhan’ yeouv’ ,tyirhveneg nad ubt.
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Rea uoy os,gnrt uoy neoc moanw lltsi obtua reotw that enrltisei.
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Ntha now ryou’e that rmeo uayl,latc.
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Flla iongg prata sbuacee own ahtw ouy ot it sfeel lilst dna ekep kwon kiel.
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Ausrlviv lfie of lepca hutrt, oryu ouy otn a mfor rea ngrilebdiu.
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Tmei rea eadolwl ouyr to yuo atke.
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Elef at sda smea rea lfpouhe you to mtei lelwoda adn hte.
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To tey ehav ton uot it gfuider lla woedlal uoy are.
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:isht meratts htwa is.
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Ear oyu ynitrg.
Are tebter nihcsogo ouy.
Uyo lstli era rehe.
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Mtesoihgn to rupod eb fo si nad atht.
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Ened of a iskd ouyr dt’on ovenris yuo efrpect.
A neo elar htye dnee.
Oen nhlegia a.
Nrggwoi noe a.
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Lextcay owh are uoy dna tath si.
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Iggon kepe.
Eevn qieut ysda eht on.
The vene dsay on vhaey.
Uyo hnew ielk efel rgeorpss even ’euyor amking otn.
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Rae yuo usebcae.
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Het in yeusrfol gnitsti dan lfee you oen n,wnunok ta oyu of eon os lilw arinsgtt eirpd vsrneio look ady, ckba ilwl imcosposan htsi —deavorn hte- chmu.
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Yuo ont lsto ear.
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Ieongcmb uyo ni teh fo ddmlie are.
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Tiwh lo,ev.
Em 💜.

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