A letter from November 8th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, its november 7th and I honestly don't know how to feel right now. I hate myself and honestly i kinda want to die but i don't know. I don't even know if you'll get this letter when its 2024 and you're 20. Hopefully you figured out or at least sorta know what you want to do in life. I'm writing this cause I'm at a point in life where i feel kinda hopeless but when you read this ... I hope u smile.I hope that you're crying but because you got through it and i hope you're happy. Im crying right now but you already knew that. I know a lot of things had changed in those 4 years. Like friends,family but you mostly. You better know how to drive,traveled, and do a lot of things with your best friend and if not do one of those things right now.Anyways my relationship with our parents has been so bad this year Im not even gonna lie but when u read this maybe it got better who knows.There's so many things i want to write about today but i rather not. I don't want to ruin your mood whenever you're reading this.I just hope you're doing better then you are right now and that u make 16 year old me proud.

Epilogue

2 days later

Dear past Me, Its november 7th 2024.....tbh about a month ago u wanted to die so idk if this is like a just a repeated thing with u being depressed...

Elph stlea 'uryoe utb ta dan now lla ettingg. Lpcsiogtyhos lwle keew hytpsacrsiit a xnte a ot on uyro swa ienegs ur ggontocliesy oyu nad a og won as netw nda ese. . . . Laot so tloa fo drctoos. Ignht ees 'ontd i siht sa tbh tbu a bad. Ouy had ephl nya lrae enevr. . I egsus a hent vener rttbee gnol ist eitm ubt tale thb tkoo it. Sa addh norkgiw ton enbe olomyg lcare u'eyro nad oryu esefl ellw tsi daeh dsenoersip dmes and ofr nad cinse no sa eoerbf. For ddah aoindegds uoy lflnyai soal tog. Ibgen ti hey htat anc wnkon leik dtcmraai ni lswaya asw dema but utb lefe in amiatcrd u ti oyu like htat eltf bur bineg mbud cfea wree lyaasw vei dotcors i u aetsla. Veonryee bnee ekil ti efels i htta ddniieaatvl ubt it em yb vie eftl waayls now t'answ iecn oandru. Stora i naasywy to do tnaw i wokn thwa. Hoter hetn eb irhgt fnciaailn a ti i now wtna sbbheio just ym efel ojb aemn get ot prseuu adn noit cteh in oodg ot i pclae ucaes a teetrb. Taht htrees so. . Sah toal nhgsti of laos neaghcd. So oals ploeep tffyi tme tis ielk yuo tbu nwe aynm leepop ffyti eflt. . . . Tihs eebn hsa lota atht i khitn dna ons)wd ot it ihtw pypah tgo os ohw hbto thwi onmht ups of toirnsaplhei ouyr oryu :) sgseu tebter rmwdooe(sn mcuh sapt im i ogruh inces btu wtih yuo pertasn owkn divre. Wetn mi niur u ldag oomd htkin ogt nwok i cduol mcuh, opeepl oyu ahtn vere moer otl emingia btu utrghho dnt'o a ym so ughrtoh seuac it u i cuodl. N'tdo spsrdihha by u nokw nad eb u wonk em edtpeis rfo fo giyvnheert of i wudlo :) but hhroutg all u purdo eosfyulr eth 'im fi giong tenw oughrht i iivlng pruod. Nad s0ry2 pu krwo to gihrt og gerihh odl i hmcu ixocatpetsen adn dan tge gihehr dlore illw 'im ot teh evil won uory.