A letter from November 8th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, its november 7th and I honestly don't know how to feel right now. I hate myself and honestly i kinda want to die but i don't know. I don't even know if you'll get this letter when its 2024 and you're 20. Hopefully you figured out or at least sorta know what you want to do in life. I'm writing this cause I'm at a point in life where i feel kinda hopeless but when you read this ... I hope u smile.I hope that you're crying but because you got through it and i hope you're happy. Im crying right now but you already knew that. I know a lot of things had changed in those 4 years. Like friends,family but you mostly. You better know how to drive,traveled, and do a lot of things with your best friend and if not do one of those things right now.Anyways my relationship with our parents has been so bad this year Im not even gonna lie but when u read this maybe it got better who knows.There's so many things i want to write about today but i rather not. I don't want to ruin your mood whenever you're reading this.I just hope you're doing better then you are right now and that u make 16 year old me proud.

Epilogue

2 days later

Dear past Me, Its november 7th 2024.....tbh about a month ago u wanted to die so idk if this is like a just a repeated thing with u being depressed...

Ur'yeo nda wno tlase all phle gttegni ubt ta. Og won saw adn newt a ese yuo ihstospcglyo no netx uoyr toeclgsionyg ur stcatiispyhr sa ewek ot adn a a elwl einsge. . . . Olat olta rstoodc os fo. Nd'to abd a ihts ese i btu gitnh as hbt. You nevre lehp yna elra had. . Thb a ti otok hten trtebe ist gsesu nolg tub i revne alet meti. Uory gomloy ureoy' eflse dan dna ahed its as ealrc on eforbe tno dmes rnwiogk dna isnec ahdd eneb rfo llwe as sodeeirsnp. Gsioeddna loas uyo for afillyn got dhda. U mudb in ti ecfa rub idtamarc uoy eefl cna leki eftl ni yhe weer but vei i ti atth amed sortcdo aatcdmir esalat knonw u eibgn eikl btu atht was alyaws bigen wylaas. Me ienc sa'twn but vei kile ti ryeoeevn onw bnee ftle droaun eeslf yswaal ti i adinvitldae htta yb. What to nwok i i od twan ysanwya srtoa. Ot dogo own awtn it etohr i my sueupr aecsu iotn tnhe a rhtig a efle mnea rteteb bheosib dna i acepl eb ojb tjus tge hcet to ni nilciaafn. So thta tehrse. . Chedgna of soal ash aolt ntsghi. Fftyi btu etm ekli ltef oyu enw fyitf os eeoplp also poepel ist amyn. . . . Thsi with ash os ughor hcum taht btu you ): oitisralnhpe ot mi thbo nhmto hpypa i sapt thwi spu it ciens nithk fo dna eenb tog etparsn usegs your driev yuro olta who ihwt nds)wo i wonk tberte eroomwsdn(. Domo i oucld olt itkhn nkwo evre it gto utb u i uyo ughotrh so t'ndo my u cloud inru ,chum nmiagei remo a tewn im hnta adlg ueacs elpeop ghruoht. Lal tn'od :) u ghothur dluow inlgiv lufosyre rtouhgh em kown kown yb be if oudrp u and dtsepie btu fo ewtn of hte egrnvihyet dpihrhssa u ingog m'i rfo i ourpd i. Up lliw hgerhi to dolre r2sy0 i og own mi' gte ntoepsiexact ievl rihhge dol ucmh nda the nda uryo to dan kwor gitrh.