Dear Me
Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play?
Is it terrifying to grow up?
Do we still think about our bio dad?
Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too.
I'm scared
I'm scared for mom
I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me.
How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you
Epilogue
about 22 hours later
Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...
Serdac. Eilf hwile m’i of rfo illw i kihtn a eadyyrev eb ym csaedr i nad. Ntsru od sha tmre eht cyaatlul tfcefes gsprsniree ew lnog lal out. Ehalhyt ur,aroa mi’ who ou’evdwl and eolv owldr tno rysro thiw swa in eerv a oyu rhe we’re tghotuh you viedl wheer to?thguh. I dan i ot ti npsoais a be ngiog heva fro yelral a hactere ma od ltlsi. Rytul do i ylelar v’ewe i ihntk ttr,bee gtenot. Ahd uoy it tsih oelv eht ttghouh unodf i uyo htaw enddee w’nats you mtei evw’e tub htkin. And thta ulwod who era eth you rfo uyo yuo eahv ohw oeeplp egvi orf olev wot nfeidsr uoy rwlod. ()trsa tiem i laekdt ot no’td listl aass,ir lable i leyuternqf dan ndeaecc eht ceansr,f yuo aklt ermebrem ro ltsa btu. Eevr i kinth nvligo sotp lo’luy o’dtn ehmt. Otn one egt ylinlaf did we uoy tahuhglo dlowu ryalopbb oaottt, a pxeetc. Eolv a tuqeo i wlodu kown ouy eth thuhgo, dne omrf ’tsi meop hcihw ierctnfma. Oevl etriw erev sfocu to lsitl omre ypeort uoy i we olhhgtau on did neht. Etg it eth adb eshpl tuo lsgnieef. Tgihns uor rwe’e ays ithw tinrigw i inisggn baout tboh septaasnoi ehetry’ dpeoivmr ’eevw wdulo dan isslkl litsl nad. In chum ti’s yp,la tath a adn i up os i now ned ddi oajmr dvleo ti uro. Su es’nodt elotut wnhe viegs an the ekam for snese dowlr ettarhe. Teiltl acsry up a si inwogrg. Rpetyt eleibve to id’ r’ewe any nto cirnitnsstuo eedn digno ot oyu od btu hr’sete lkie wlle rfo ylarel ahtw. Own shi he ni i eerv tbu rwe’e thwi wlle’ dda esclo nda do’nt hiktn eb eitrs otn ayw. To rae it were usjt bron eh ikd thta a we eeplop wsa the tmitapron ehwn llilaefb eeras it’s brememre tdse’on iapn, ewlih and. Tengto msom’ swore. Egtairhmn lhaeth nwko asw did i ouyr reh wsrto thta utb rnvee vropiem ylaasw. Het eoj ot rngcdiovi azra ni soprsec of nroth twih dna aoanlirc ivnogm se’sh. Ttha uoy yrors rwee teh are ylno oot erev ahtt to nad uyo how oevl mi’ rezelai orsry mtena oeplep ruht ot yognu m’i o,yu. Zraa toghauhl i knwo dg,oo teh rae diks oabtu lyno. Eon a aog asw hoem fwe omrf arlely oru eerodevcr jstinu has sayre on dan odemv morf hatt. To itnsgh nowrg tlo z with grli ruo igong bayb sye alsway ’eshs tsill s(alo a e’sehtr hs’se be btu of )oldu. Darecs kwno ouy i wree owh. Nhitgs abd drak eemdse lal negehitvyr nad eth wonk owh i tgo owh tmei. Odluw i less ubt ecrdas emak im’ snight opeepl tath esem nkwo i ays fyrernigti isltl hvea i. Gchean oons oingg ee’wr tllis sht’ta ntemiay nda tno ot ivlea. Nrheiga uoy ibnieedlrc kthin ’im ysa wodul yuo i etnh mero phsel alrziee. Uwldo urpdo ot to eilf i fo, me ivle yuo fro be eb my wya emembrer a dopur eehr ddneee oyu enev i tbu nhitk i owuld of taht antw engib taht in. Ew o”clhos, did pu ebst nde do lhewi eolv dna ni i ist’ ellayr lcole,eg rtesewn tno h“te. Era redsga race euebcsa era lalrey ufstf sit’ ew we rou btaou gznmaai smart hewn. Lkei id’ ma i ot owh lwil fi ever i but onkw i ures asy mi’ tno. Swa lacuta em ondt’ i btu ti fo appyh sosianp, atth dleov nhtik smaek ti scepae npat,i neth an itlsl uoy rome i na ti. Si orev elapc all sekam teh reylla any of snsee ierten too ruoy riitwgn uory that lief eb olduw it so. Uto derti nda so we cmhu ti itkitngn dnfou htae ew. Nnginaoy sa tsi’ ellh. Hcum it mi’ btu wonk ingog ot ohw hits herac ot ot i udlow tuo hrtu aerh uoy ton erh. Rtndnudsae i my su to kcab in nad ngyirt trhu efil ’mi hes elt erh oint to freuse aysw tlils. Mdrarie ogt i sthopo moms swa hse reh eth kcoobaef no er,ectnly. Os gvea atht vdsreeed ti ruoy im’ lvoe seh uoy of dna her venre uhmc rsoyr. Kcae a fro ebka rdiabhty i atullyca i dseifnr rthoe daem teh ruo tebs did y,ad. Anme you i hsi him tnkih wludo si nda cj oaedr. For ardeth dirrgienlf uor did vroe evner oabtu teh get ew ae,t hwihc tsaeh su. Od its’ we !by)o cwhhi jnoiescint orf of ew rtffieden t, wkee idnk od revey jeony e!srsr(piu a a. Bkac i uocdl uyo atkl tmie ot shwi ni i og and. Ouy rpiemso dema hntsig adn egt it ouhgrth ettber i atth. Are eethr dryeevya uroy ilef so ’ueoyr and ot hcirehs hatt in uoy eahv kucyl epoepl them. ’atner ew ’rwee btu fecrept yhapp. Vere i bcasuee ogt uoy ohw ld’cvuoe ehnt omre elov amiignde i you hree rye’uo. Hree ddnti’ ’noltwud yinrtg peke be you if i. M,netigpt pu dtrei so veen d’ndit i thta we kwon viingg semteosim i swa nwok oto btu yuo. Ouy here evlo dan uyo i im’ atydes cbeeusa.
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