A letter from May 12th, 2020

Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)

Epilogue

about 5 years later

hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...

I innegue agmnlnuief retwo tletre adh i anht iev giyhtnna hatt rlodw evre ol,ev vole sith fo more si ewhn a elft dan idesceordv. Ni wlle lve,o i ma sa. Thtgau i oelv end 'iltl aemk ubt spenor hweer how woh sah ti me twha anc emrad oknw ealst ta can uyo a veah eb u,p ekil ton'd i adn nfodu. Ubt ma shtngi dna ot ubaot tiyxnea nda tsnoeh earlyl gbena evah i nca i woh bda dda e,b my rapteyh vnree tdaeidtm mom. Ertrge gahrisn lgefines hety ont ntdo' mmuctneaioc em hety make utb my lw,el osal idd. Lyhtnose daei si i yoncr owh vaeh on. Raye,s ni we ,year ksopne khint tn'od rvene dieknledr mhoseopro ot i adn a rafet wot pifhnresdi her ive'. Etm ortew new how hyte am ieddfne onwk i nd'itd neev adn i won i who aer tfear thaw enhw i eppole tath shit. Ianga it i yaczr( gnuh tfare neevr ivdoc ldcale dan tath b"soy acoorn) hit tuo eth" i. Pu ni tis pop htye i,efl my hwo tcnoeidnu ot nfyun ghuoth. Omrea,tmo to tiem nt(o morp onw my nahgs adrteet tilsl) twih eaclb atte ym now the on ,cfea nad wthi gnaitd odibyne,rf oepgliazod tnew utb hnoa as ekdeln woh tuo oyu all rouy is etbant ethy to tenw rof. Isth ruesmm meka apst ttha dind't het caohs ti orewt oyu. Smis odgs ltisl tbu elki i ond't ,imh i yoermna. Ikle umch ahdr adn rveo rebeermm edus ,erasy its mmo perimdvo eb tahw teh my ot os i to it. N,wo me ti hmcu tjsu utb who gerugltss asd saemk esh. How it eb si thta i dsa me neevr wnat fo saekm eldmo hse to a. Tbu ayre saw od vahe i hghi nto ofrm esmhnarf tycinlrae obm,rmlaee slchoo good omisrmee. Pylniag uigrnnn delifs adn omet,skua elta, hgrouth acr stnhgi uto llckpibeal. And ni gain sentsus eht of hte htiw aursub rdesinn uknrt. On ulsopea het sivder. I dah i ot so a norsoe hist mi sukcde ahtt whsi nda irlpeed of wno morf it far but ti lsao egno l,to. Ynufn anaig i nargtist euhnog tbu mi 'tnod ta lla, iesdiongrnc skeom. Tbu istll and i listl - dfoo xianuso, yowrr ist wya im eertbt y,aw evor. Ctadstie ti asyd my oenglr on. Ddi purdo htaif ssceusc in i a ochslo aksme adn in my ttah fgtuoh nto ywa ohrhtgu sloe i em. Otg o,f lcpaedcishom nad inshtg dmeader ehav gatre ot i i i rwhee. Ekwn wath ubt asy trgih ucodl het i ihccoe did btu now ti ardh het any geivn - sti if tbes wsa to i fo i. It ueeayllvnt h,wiael ni idd my nhpaep eobknr tbu o'obnsyd erhta. Dnierf ebst wokn of wiht be yuo ish ikgssin ot yo'du slayletobu ubt lvoe ak,cj inatdse ooefldr ellf ni ttha. Ti n'dtdi ubt owh unfny ew,ll larlye ifle end aspyl aht'ts otu. I acn vrwhenee nebiodfry etrrcnu sksi my i. Sawyal what yug in i eebn em se'h fro to poedh a. Eerhw 'mi i ,onw 'im love i 'otdn veol ubdnliig tub ahtw at. .

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