A letter from May 12th, 2020

Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)

Epilogue

about 5 years later

hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...

Adh reom lfet i lveo nieunge that oetrw i nthniayg vsdroecied ever is of ntah adn lodrw ewhn a loev, eiv enmfliaung this rtetel. E,lvo sa ma i llwe in. Kown it telas at has i me elik eavh but edn a acn who lit'l ehwre anc aemdr ,pu and ouy onfud 'ondt be esnpro eolv i owh hatw uhagtt akme. My ehpytra ma adn hseton dna dda who vnere omm anc sgniht eabng i adb tiayexn tbu tdmtdaei raeyll i ot ,eb btuoa ahve. Tyeh ubt ym segeifnl aemk did losa rergte tno ,lelw shnagir dn'to iecmmtcauon tyeh em. Hwo have eaid osetlnhy i no nycor is. Rspfndhiei herpoosmo adn ikhnt to wot 'ndto ni rysa,e ldreikedn osekpn etafr i ew vrene a vi'e hre ary,e. Ohw tower now i dan i hnew tish ahtt era polepe konw neev i wne ehty ohw nedfdie ma ddn'ti fetra emt i waht. Nco)oar e"ht thi i i hgun nad erven dvico yracz( uot obs"y caeldl agnia it afert thta. Opp dnnicetou woh up its thhuog fynun ei,lf my ot ni teyh. Geioazdopl for oyu derfoy,ibn gantdi ehty sa atedetr all cbale ndekel on dan utb si banett ym atte to moo,remat omrp hnao t(no teim won gsanh htiw ouyr my efa,c wtih nwte )lislt tewn onw uot to woh eht. Ahtt t'didn the acohs uoy trweo amek htis astp uresmm it. I sism raonmye btu odgs stlil nt'od i mhi, liek. Iekl ovmpdire awht to ym nad ti eebmrmer ot os mmo rhad orev ,earys uesd be i tsi hucm het. How won, hcmu hse em tbu tusj it ugssrgtle sad sekam. Skeam eb of ot neevr it i ahtt me who awnt si hes a sda emlod. Ryae teylnirca ont mreeismo tbu evah dogo mhrnfaes i meomrb,eal hghi od asw sochlo omrf. Tuo blpcekllai dan seildf hngsti at,emskuo le,at hohrgut inpagly nngrinu cra. Turnk sutsnes teh nad the fo srdeinn wtih ruubsa igna ni. The on lposuea drisev. Lsoa mofr eskudc ubt iths raf ot now iwhs it ti mi lot, i dna had a noeg os fo eieldpr htat seoorn i. Heonug tgstrain nynuf i deornsingic im nod't at oksme ,lal tbu giaan. Rwyor wya sillt sti im tub i veor and in,saoux rtetbe - odof ya,w tlsli. It etacidst ym asdy eglron no. Eosl ifaht i ywa idd udorp in a ttah me tno nad gtfhou i keams ym lscooh rhotguh ni uscssec. Hreew eavh i to i dereamd gnhsit f,o i hclidacepmso gto nad aterg. I btu eht het fi i rtihg i docul any to asy it wken ddi sti thwa tebs nvgei - aws utb wno of ehocic hrda. Ym but rhtae veulyetlan eiwlh,a yoobsdn' in ti did penaph boeknr. Bste eb to efrnid uoy ubt atht nwko roldfoe in j,cak kgsisni of 'douy shi eolv yseloutbal lelf dsntaie itwh. El,lw 'tasth otu tub eifl woh n'idtd ylasp it nfyun edn ayller. Ym vreewhne anc i benofydir kiss i utnrcre. Twha 'hse a i in eebn gyu walysa hepod em to ofr. Herwe tbu mi' ovel love awth ta tdo'n i no,w i i'm dlguibin. .

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