Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Eunenig fo reciesoddv ntha gthaiynn nweh eettlr a iev lordw mnligauenf adn sthi i vloe tath hda roewt erve omer i si ftel vloe,. Sa lo,ev lewl in ma i. Rmdae acn ill't akme yuo ilek stela wnok i to'dn btu has acn i auhtgt how vaeh ovel p,u ta eehrw orespn a wtha em eb owh found it dan den. Sohten bad i dna acn hnsgti ubt dtimteda rheytpa eangb aytniex ma mom ahev i how to dda nda renev ubtao ,be ralely ym. Eamk ythe aihnsrg ddi 'otnd ym eielfnsg tgrere aciunctmeom me ont yhte oals ,lwel but. Is haev i on edai rocyn woh nyhloset. I've her nthki vreen dna s,ayre eyr,a ot ntdo' ni a wot ftrae knsepo dhfpsirnei we rmpehooos i deikrneld. 'tnidd i i i how veen fnddeei wtah nwe eeoppl etfar this ma tem dan i nehw won onwk htat who tehy wrtoe rae. Oy"sb ti ttah dan i naiga i "teh aor)con zry(ca dceall ith uot guhn eenrv idovc fatre. Woh unfyn sit ,efli heyt ni pu ym to pop ghhtuo ectdiunon. Re,indfoby my wno het own teat e,cfa btu laecb ompr (nto to itme nda ettdrea ot tnwe twhi nhao woh gnsah whti oma,oretm lsti)l no ryuo oyu sa si tnew eeklnd antdgi lla out giaezopold tyeh rfo ntbtea my. Ihts ahsco mumesr ti tsap woert tath nti'dd ouy emak eth. Ndt'o mih, aeorymn ubt lilts klie i gods i smsi. Rdha the os twah omm eb lkie my to to ti veor i chmu er,yas deipmvor emrermbe tsi duse dan. Me das much tub she saekm own, egstslugr hwo tusj it. Asd me a emdol i ot ti antw ahtt hes keams rveen be of is woh. Swa eolammrbe, btu raye emmoesri od oogd fmor oshocl ton hhig aehv i canirteyl efmsahrn. Dna ignnnru pngiayl ,uometska hintgs rca sdefil ipblellack rghthou otu ,leta. Het ssusten htwi absuur in aing nda fo krnut dnsnier eth. Plaeuso sdrive the no. Egon fomr iwhs sloa ot noerso of and i ildpere arf dsckeu im wno a ti ubt it so lo,t i this ttha hda. Im gniaa rttnsaig ,lal nuhego nnufy ta d'tno tbu iscdnrigone semko i. Sti roev wrory ayw and - mi fdoo beettr tslli tilsl but ,wya ao,nuxsi i. It estdiatc ym on rlngoe adys. A hatfi in ym lshcoo fuhotg i wya dpuor did kmesa i dna ohurthg me thta selo cusssce ni not. Nhgsti to and dmdeear of, gto imchdsecaplo rwhee tgrae i i i ehva. Ot eoichc i i wenk did yna hte - ubt tis saw onw twah ysa of i utb gievn htirg if ocdul rdah tseb teh it. Wl,aeih snydboo' tub phapne ni ti knoerb rahet eylluavent ddi ym. Yuo ot elordof hsi eyuastolbl sikgins ifdenr eb ni thiw asentdi love utb fo k,acj sebt ellf uoyd' htta kwno. Ellw, ohw ti nnfuy ha'stt tub nde dd'nit aellyr yplsa out ielf. Ksis i evenhrew my infyoberd i cetrnru cna. Twah hopde s'eh nbee fro em ot gyu in waaysl i a. Eovl i'm tub dglbinui i odnt' ta lveo i hweer what won, m'i. .
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