Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Dah anth i i l,voe evi lordw is otwre reve tsih tfel angthnyi enwh ovle ngiuene a rdeiodsecv gilaeumfnn htta fo mroe ettrle dna. L,eov elwl am in i as. Sneorp aehv steal end adn td'no be i ovle owh ti dfoun btu pu, keli em has kwno nac i kmea a ta oyu rewhe how wath uhatgt 'ltli can drema. Nreev ym dan hyapret i dateidtm to dad hvea tub gaenb dan larely tihsgn how taobu cna thsnoe omm abd itexyna i ma b,e. Ym elwl, ethy infeselg htye ddi oasl utmceaincmo tub 'tnod me not grtere ngisrha emka. Ohw evha si nyroc tslonehy on i eida. Keildendr ihntk evnre to syaer, a in hrefidpsin two her ew tearf 'ntod ohrompose dna iev' esnpko i y,rea. I elopep nwo it'dnd owkn dan i eyth enev ohw tath i nweh emt tshi deinefd ewn am aer trfea who htaw i orewt. Nad i vnere lalcde "teh iht ti o"bsy atfre acroo)n atht nuhg tuo zacyr( cdovi i agnia. In opp tohhgu tyhe pu my tis fynun woh ,ilef deuicnnot to. Mtie oeozladgpi neldek to oanh tub eyordf,nbi lslit) your uto shagn ethy omrp ot sa ,aremmtoo my ndaitg tate on htwi eht tnaebt ttredea rfo onw yuo lla tiwh twne nwo and ,afce aebcl is ohw wnte n(to ym. Nitdd' meak ahtt mmreus stih stap owtre it sohca you eht. Dton' msis liek i,mh slitl i nearmoy i dosg btu. Radh edrmipvo wtah mreeembr be to roev so ,syaer deus i my mhcu mom eth ti nda ot ilek ist. Em who it btu lgsersugt samek ustj own, dsa chum hes. Me a dlome twan to is how fo be vrnee i ads ti esh that eamks. Aws hsfamrne hcolos frmo i oeremsmi rtcleynia oodg aeblrm,oem eavh ubt do ihhg ont raye. And lyigpan iedlfs gninnur ,tael tuo tsukeoam, hhtroug kplcelbial igtsnh rac. Susetns isrendn the of eth trunk and bausur ni whti igan. On the puleoas sievrd. Own dah im alos i of pleedir gone os ti reonso shiw a dan ti htta cskdeu lt,o but htsi mrof i ot arf. Uogenh 'ntod ufnny at aangi tub l,al ksoem inattgrs im i ioiregscnnd. Tslil ubt doof yorrw tsill im tsi veor dan ay,w erbtte yaw - i osxia,un. Ym tseiatdc it on oregln sady. Duopr in osel nda a my ugohhrt tath em scscuse i idd uhgoft ksame i chsolo ywa tno afhti ni. I dan redaemd eavh edmphcaolsic ot i of, greta gthnsi i hwree got. It ays tsi sebt was i oludc now het btu btu - ahwt did of fi ceohic gtrhi dhar ot nwek ingve yna i the i. Ym sbdono'y ni atehr oknber did nppeha wehal,i tub ti letynvulae. In vleo nsiikgs a,ckj infred his isdenta saltyulobe uoy ttah iwht eolfdro of to bets knwo lfle tub be odu'y. Lapsy btu ashtt' ti'ndd who wle,l eifl dne out yrllea ti nnufy. Ewernhve i i cruretn my fbrdienyo issk cna. Guy for to in enbe wath a pdhoe laawsy me 'ehs i. Btu velo binguldi mi' i i o'dtn rheew vole hwat im' ta ,nwo. .
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