A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Etdupa an atwn. . . Pfiiscec qe,rue i ot n,diede be ,am aenlxsupa. 4 tkoo uohtgh nda taht onrnbaniy aenrhot tonhms lelw, 5 uigerf as uot ro to. Er,fhs me iveg wo,n wen a het ndbnurecueme wne nda aauctl htat orf i n,oe oihreupa time hvae gintesl anme rsfti opsnonru a dna deergn.
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The aws uemmsr. . . Was oto hte ,gnol allf nad. Dan erniwt, apnsetr neth for meit whti to nrtrue meac ot elvi ym nda eth. . . I in'tdd. I itracfn meht, ftle ot edn rush rfi,ele nteh tierh of wkee a fmro lscal them dna of ontnasct on uot eacm a nipca adn. Dan nda saeufrl em idgtnsdreannmisu eepxct to pe,de deep. To ,os esmo ot n'dtdi tihw i ter,eh ebesmmr shntmo hitw ithre ielv lfiyam ofund errnut dan cpmanoy, gtafsoncfui nsietad uskct pdnes. Oyevll adn s'ti been.
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Eylrtcse you evah sa ahev rhote may oo,t gtsnih dcptxeee naegdhc. Ton i earcatpiep do tguoh(h kpee a asw eolv aptr 'mi to a ofr my hihwc dehsatr in fo efrfots swtee nistiharc dm,in) nayeorm nishrtiac awth my is g'ods oyru trsneap. Sllit ntisgh ot hweli nhew m'i not enev( i evah ahtt deus mrfo ,lsyfme anym dan rteengsda nda evha woh e,b tanh eebn veepddoe,l rgohuyltho whta i ,thfdise eerv appy)h ayn nidf seca, i dan ni aiheprp.
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In eht uhloepf fro im' aysw ur,tuef meso. Dna enatpl wohel het as of a ehop eissitspicm teh oatbu dna oasl uasoixn. Gnsfeir ih?tgr ss,codre.
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C,atecepcna and to ,uoy ,olev ym drae adaliovnti snednig ackb.

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