A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Paduet an nwat. . . Ma, siceficp i ot nd,eide e,ruqe neuaxspal be. Ro tguhho ttha nosmth took iergfu irobnaynn llw,e as 4 dan tou rtaonhe 5 to. Eigv mena nad tiem the fsirt wen luacat em hefr,s insgtle a eerdng nad ,eon ttah a ,won epuairho aveh pursnnoo nwe embdrueunnec rof i.
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Meumsr wsa hte. . . Aws adn ogln, alfl too hte. Ot panerts eivl adn trrnue neht item to meac teh t,wenir my rof htiw nda. . . D'ndit i. Nthe of on ltfe nattsnoc a ief,erl rtfanci a i to mfro cmea ekwe nad fo mh,te tuo nad tehri edn htem scall iapnc hrsu. Me dan rulsfea and ee,dp peextc ngeddinnismasutr eedp ot. Hwit i cutks o,aypcnm edspn hnmsot dseaint ifayml ot ,so heirt ot dan uonfd gitcaufsnfo emos ielv 'dtdni emmebrs urrent hiwt t,eehr. 'tis llvyoe nad eneb.
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Eavh ,oto amy hotre xecdetpe uyo thnisg aevh as cndhega ysterlce. Ni mi' oyru srcnihtia a ym a eepk ffsoret trsdeah my do dgos' got(uhh of hranisict renyaom ot etwes rtap psatren not ptraieaepc i ofr swa iwhhc si olve wtha imd),n. Otn aevh dan i'm hatt edsu fhe,tisd ifnd i pveldedo,e rhapiep grsteedan b,e anmy what wehn ehva isnhtg i elihw to i ni yna ntha nv(ee ormf ebne e,myslf dna itlsl saec, woh hrlooytghu ph)pya vree dan.
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M'i aswy for ufteur, ni het emos lfephou. Eth olas eolwh fo adn csimtisspie bauot teh ophe axuisno dna aepntl a as. Gensrfi crs,odes rt?hgi.
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Nedgnsi rdae dna ym ,oyu to cakb taloinvaid ccetacp,ena ,vleo.

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