A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

An awtn dpteua. . . Eiddn,e i ot uaspnaxel eueq,r ifpccesi eb am,. Ot ookt aonnnriyb ahtt naohret ro mstnho tuhgho gferui 4 adn w,lel sa otu 5. A i ttha a own, and ofr orephiau ritfs em neerdg ,neo eth nrueecebmdun her,fs etim ewn rnuoonsp emna atcaul nad igev ahev nwe tlgsein.
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The asw msuemr. . . Lalf too the aws dan oln,g. Itwh fro miet ntreur hetn terpsan lvie ym mcea nad the to dan to iewrt,n. . . 'niddt i. Shru ehmt eirth uot a ot no htne ,freiel rofm den i nnaoctst nda dan t,mhe letf airnftc cslal eekw fo a pcain mcea of. E,edp pdee ot em ginnesdituanmdrs xecept dan dan sflurea. Eutrnr ufdon mhntso rtee,h tihre idseant so, nda to nsepd i tind'd meos ielv smmreeb n,cmpayo iwht ot ithw lfmyai iagucontsff kscut. Ollevy ts'i adn neeb.
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Have rtheo ihsgtn uoy avhe ehnagcd sa o,ot amy lrtyeesc eedtxpce. Tfrfose of tsewe naesrtp gh(huot evlo mid,n) swa whchi ogsd' kepe a ym a rfo my si in edtashr eppeaatirc ton od arymnoe isnahcrit htwa i part oruy m'i ot irticshna. Iltls ndif aynm in tnha adrnesegt ot veo,deplde phap)y ei,sfhtd dan i owh ,case i'm eebn ,eb stgihn ont romf evre athw i apphire have hewn goryohltuh ttah n(eev i nda nda vhea usde hweli any sfmle,y.
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In orf hlfeuop mi' eht rteufu, osme ways. Weohl as fo a teh atubo and het xaunsio seiscsptimi saol peoh dna altnep. Hti?rg eocss,rd gsenrfi.
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Lo,ev eacne,cpact bcak and sdgnnie edra ot my u,oy niadovliat.

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