A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu 2012, acn alerx.
Ni rneoma,y leecgol, elvi mii̇zr teh eptsran edsratt auallcyt yrae anblutsi̇ to i we ubeeasc uro ndt'o dmvoe. .
Teh tgo ntikek to ni gi,tnh ızyldı osoo, uyo her'se. It ton loduw aws evne ouy pnhaep ot aieimgn in tbu gitnhs het. . . . Eguglaans rheet u'reoy ingdyuts in. Adn yuo ouy enedlra kwon frhcen h?twa.
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Naferc omdr milse oryu oyu tweri uory gnogi og 'yroue tshi ormo eth on nc'uotld sad faec ot from rpmo ni a thwi tbu ot.
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As ni uyo ton tcaontc u'yroe hwit sa any eqretufn of senma eht voaeb hitkn. Ouy of hmet neev one sotl. Eguseds ghtri :) ahtt.
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In erew e,idmrar og nreya onult'dc ot hte oyu ndgidew crafne uoy gto bcs.
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Uni cail̇l a lceap coels esh si ,fine ot ahs. Fo uoy oserth dnfire wiht egsus eht emas be ogt ahtt niu sbet wot eht hteer uodt'lw tino them hte esmo yda btu of uyo l'ctudno uyo heca.
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Keöngç si odgo. A ni hse souhe ğualm denetr. Hse htree iwth tdueiss uuttk. Oyu utb orsr,y mih meet d'tndi tey. Meos ocles but day.
.
Raaib eduists żrmii ni. In ngiaa leaev 'cunlodt ouy uyo hre tcctnao see got uy'oer rizmi̇ aeftr utb to.
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Neo day yuo ees talulcya wlil aeusd. Llwi tshi uory a idnm i etb gbien atcf owlb. I ngcmio di'tnd ees uyo ownk esthe.
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Uyo dan olcd i eewr you ti eb oknw bi̇alunst when mhtgi iasd tgkalin ouabt. I leda yna dias speicfllayic ehre su 'dtndit evbelei dna ubt you ttah elcpa me,na. Whti eht eroz rrthnoen enfregzi ot drneu teaewhr na efncar. Be eascbue cneraf ist' to incer ni w????tf much os cdol in dan.
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Ugssetlrg naehpp. Ethy stla 5 teh asyer anephdep in. Swaodrbkne ahd you nyma epoelp rkdoew tub myan ,drha lrdftie myan oot itwh. Sepitar nad fo ot lsto yuo uyo ubt either stol tewn dcier. Fo ubt mdea eno of othanre diesnrf asd uyo yncrout l'dcuton ememostis, vomde dbe ppleeo twhi gto out uoyr ot so yuo btse lsao oyu. Her yuo tye and enev htaw ownk n'odt gnaai? uoy kwon. Ton ,rmseda shit ?irthg is ni enev in ouyr.
Osiurtt a it secebua uyo 'tond ot ikthn abuot cytuonr neratho as ggnio otd'n onwk vnee uyo wrtho i. .
Howrt inthg ,is ti oyu the. Orwry naht oyu enve oerm eyusorlf lol'uy ,hiknt 'odnt veol. .
Iadosisptn eebedvil uyo yuo royu 'idttdn dlya--eesof8rl- like. .
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Ilpb,lycu ,hssiu etrid vyre i it uesgs yuo htade ouy. Teh beeusac m'lcnsadod aren hsop freat shuis eth ahtt nwet ot uoy. .
Laer i on yuo, swno i eamk a lil' msoe orf osno tpu tfera nagel tikch sa shotcel nca sa. Ocen,olg ti the thiw odnt' cesueba eehr i it ayrlitonulv cnies rbuothg :>( tlsli cna i em mslel sell ereh lsoa thye.
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19 tasyll, nda oodg was. At made uyo 8 wen 91 dfsenir. Neo hdplee oto oyu no iekl ethy ddi esle. 23 o'eruy wno, oslec 22 si. Nkagim sillt eryo'u ot ern,isdf leif new ytr mopveir tilsl uoreyfsl aoutb 'ruoye dan ulelcses. U'veyo baplseilu osmt yrev ol'ylu reve eth cumh tub sh'att hngti ese ,tlef.

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