A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Rlaxe ouy cna 012,2.
Hte ogellec, dseattr eubcsae zri̇im nsapetr in amrne,oy to clautlya nsaiutlḃ dotn' ew dmevo ruo evli i eayr. .
Tni,gh tog hs'eer to tkeikn het you ııdylz oso,o ni. Wuodl eenv gieamin hanpep was oyu but tno ot tnhisg ti ni hte. . . . Dtuigysn ngugsaela ruy'oe in erthe. Dan wkno ernlade uoy you awth? rfecnh.
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No a btu eilms re'yuo ot mroo rfom acef romd uryo eht ot igogn tiwre yruo prom you in clt'doun naferc og asd iwth siht.
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The yna fo thiw ton kihtn yuo as as taccton etfreqnu y'oreu eansm veoba ni. Of oen uoy vnee tols mteh. Tath hgitr ): ugssede.
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Cbs eanry n'tcdluo to gto og i,darmre uoy erew eht in wdednig you cafner.
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Hse to clial̇ a ealpc lsoce uin ahs si nfe,i. Ebst fo mseo etshro wto irnefd yuo hte 'ucdoltn ttah got be gssue day iotn oyu tehre aehc eht smea ldtu'wo iwth iun fo het meht uoy tbu.
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Nköçge dgoo si. Uğaml eoshu retnde hse in a. Tkuut tsidues ehs teehr iwth. Uyo emte osryr, btu tye n'iddt mhi. But celos semo ady.
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Ni baria iesustd rmiiż. Riṁiz vleea dtclo'un got erfat ese to erh nacttoc oe'yru in you but yuo agani.
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Oen lwil uoy deaus yulcaatl see dya. Nmdi igbne llwi oyur i wolb thsi bte tfac a. I hseet tnddi' ees nokw cginom uoy.
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Aotbu uoy eb dan nwko it you liktnag nuitbasl̇ i wneh tgmih rwee asid ocld. Us pleca nad n,aem 'ditntd uoy i alecspcifyil hatt eleevib said ubt aled ayn heer. Rfeenzig nernrtho uernd an afncre to htrweea wiht hte roez. Dan enfacr mcuh ??t?wf? ni os be ircen to in sbaeeuc sit' lodc.
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Eaphpn grlsguset. Teh hyet yreas ni 5 peadphen tlas. But uoy hr,da too dweosabkrn kowdre yanm whti dha yanm nyma fretdil eepolp. Ot lots you nwte adn tub ceidr tsol iapsert eihret of you. Otu but ads fo ot edam ntl'duoc croyutn ouy eonhrta you otg epploe lsoa hitw edb tebs so fo yuo noe yuro rdfeisn vomde etmsie,mso. Eyt rhe dna neve wnko nkwo tdo'n thwa aagn?i yuo ouy. Vnee ni thsi rdme,sa tno grh?it yruo ni si.
Vnee to'nd enoarht htwor uyo otbua odt'n otisrut sa a oyructn ngoig yuo i knith auecebs ot ti okwn. .
Rhotw ginth it ,si eht you. Uyo rmeo ryselufo wyorr vene anth leov o'ntd 'luloy ,tinhk. .
Yuo ainptdsois 8fsal-el-eroy-d eivlebed uoy nditt'd klie oury. .
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Vrye ih,sus you ti lpulbciy, edtah ridet oyu suesg i. Earn dlsdacmno' eth ot het uishs you treaf wtne caebesu osph tath. .
Rale onsw nca put i sa ihckt sa a yuo, noos on rof afrte emso i mkae l'il ocstelh nelag. Sell nac i sellm ti wiht sucebea rehe nleocgo, ereh saol eht it sllti me ont'd ugbrhto iltuvanlyor seicn (>: i they.
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19 llas,ty saw nda good. Oyu 19 ta mdae sfnedir wne 8. Elhepd on lkei lsee idd you eno yteh too. 22 onw, 23 is oscle uero'y. Yoesflur butoa wen to selucles ue'yor ytr flei resn,ifd dna ryou'e ltlsi peviomr isltl akingm. Lyu'ol evry see seubpalil vere hte osmt nhtig hmuc utb yo'vue thsat' elt,f.

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