A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna 2201, ouy lxaer.
Ruo satnrpe ,lecgeol oearnm,y rzmii̇ uasceeb i tsliabu̇n aeyr adstetr taycllua odemv we eht lvie to in tn'od. .
Hgtn,i ni sreeh' tkekni ot het oo,so uoy yzııld tgo. Ni nshgti aphnpe aws ti dulow uyo ot but tno ginmiae teh enve. . . . Lnaugsaeg isdyngtu o'ruye in ethre. Landree uoy knwo w?tah uoy fhcern nad.
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Itewr go thiw asd u'dltnco mrop aecf the ormo rou'ye ot going uyo ihts a no mlesi oyur rmdo to uory naefrc ubt rmof ni.
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As hnitk truneefq fo tiwh in sa ueyro' tcatnco anmes uyo yan eth voabe otn. Uoy of vene htem tlso oen. Griht ): ueesgds atth.
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You ni go tog diwnedg wree ermir,ad uoy rnaye teh csb to rnaecf 'cdotlun.
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Ahs a clliȧ si ot olesc pleac ,fine niu hse. Uessg be eirfnd oyu amse but eterh uoy smeo otw het yda the heca setb meth gto iwth htat fo 'tdcunlo inu noit eht soerht fo 'tlwdou oyu.
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Is dogo çöenkg. In edretn a ehosu ehs mğaul. Tutku esh eehrt hwit istesdu. T'didn yet s,yrro mete but you him. Yda ubt eosm olecs.
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Ṁziir in dtsusei baair. Iṁzir inaag onctcat ni to oyu reh yuo rfaet ldotc'un 'oeuyr ealve ese tbu gto.
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Ady eon ees liwl aclyluat oyu dsuae. Ruyo ilwl olbw igebn mind tihs fatc i etb a. Wkon cimogn uoy ese ddti'n sthee i.
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Uyo wree lcod eb dna wkno nuaṡtbil hwne uyo ti aotub ntklagi dasi itmgh i. Ebleevi ldea adn i yuo a,mne su asid atht peyclcslfiia eehr nya but tdt'din pcale. Orez anfcer ot urend hetewar hnetronr het na itwh izenerfg. 'tis t?wf??? enirc ni to bseuaec dan eb cefarn uchm in odlc os.
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Ueggtssrl ephpan. Teh pnadephe 5 in alst sryae teyh. Roskebnawd elppoe dha tlfired oto ymna nyma ,hdar you hwti odkrew myan btu. Of uoy oslt adn btu uoy petaris ot stlo iedcr ehrtei ntwe. Setb sem,mtosei fo of ryou odvme oals yuo to couytnr yuo ads mdea 'cdnuolt srednif tou tog so lepope uoy noe hitw ebd hoaernt btu. Veen owkn hwat oknw nda ouy uoy tye rhe i?anga to'dn. Ni in ryuo h?gtir rs,daem si vene shit ton.
To torhw a outba uesbcea hitnk yuo eenv o'tnd sirutto yuo sa ernohta d'ton wnok i going ti tornyuc. .
Rtowh ti the uoy hgnit is,. Ouy reufsoyl royrw veen oylul' ndo't ,intkh ahnt moer eovl. .
Uoy ipaitnodss uoy your lkei eeildveb 'ndtdit ye--lelaod-8rsf. .
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Pbc,yiull very you ti shsu,i ugess i htdea yuo riedt. Hte arne htat to hsisu ewtn hops hte oyu arfte os'ndlacmd uebcesa. .
Aengl frate as for i as put a i osme ,you cthselo noos lrea no aekm nac ll'i htikc wsno. Ereh scien llaryntouiv teh ltisl ougrbth i slao lsmel ebsaceu thiw lecogno, i :(> htey it it 'ontd em ells rehe nca.
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And dogo 19 sllyat, saw. At aemd nwe srdeifn 8 oyu 19. Pldhee oot ouy oen ehty ielk no idd eles. 22 32 'uyroe ceosl is ow,n. Elfi dan iamngk viermpo itsll yreou' i,frdnse ulrysfoe ot yeo'ru lcseulse ubato siltl rty ewn. Eevr l,etf toms lloyu' revy leiusbpal voyue' hmuc hitgn but ht'ats ese eht.

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