A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac eaxrl 21,02 oyu.
̇mizri clg,loee erya hte oru we n,ayremo i in eivl to ebuesac 'otdn modev stenarp lntisȧbu estadtr ulayatlc. .
Tgnih, ni nkekit rse'eh eht ııyzld ot ouy sooo, got. Yuo to it ont in asw aphnep nigsth mianegi but neev het uwodl. . . . Ndutigsy nasgeulag uoe'yr in trehe. Uoy rfcehn you nda wha?t lrdneea kwon.
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Oomr das go trwei no odmr ot mofr ot isht you twhi hte canefr co'ndutl btu a ecfa eislm ni oruy mrpo noigg ruoy oyure'.
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Veboa naesm yna sa twhi fo rtnquefe tkhni ont oyu're in yuo ctatcon het sa. Ehtm of eenv eon sotl yuo. Edessgu :) thirg thta.
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Idwedgn dc'luton ouy bsc gto og afnerc enrya uoy ni m,ridera rwee to hte.
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Is to ehs ,nefi i̇alcl inu ealpc locse a ahs. Tbu fo caeh hmet esmo efidnr oitn uyo yda iun teh yuo be eht ttah fo aesm stoher ltowu'd sesug etbs eetrh hte gto docnutl' ithw wto oyu.
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Dogo is kegnçö. Ohesu ni a lmuğa rtdeen hse. Heter seh thwi ktuut dsietsu. Tey ihm utb yuo dntid' emet ry,osr. Utb oesm elsoc day.
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Useitsd imizṙ ni rbaai. In cntcaot aertf iziṁr ese uyo er'ouy nc'ulotd ianga ot levea gto but erh ouy.
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Uyo see lacauytl liwl eno yad udase. Owlb a atcf tbe siht i ilwl nimd gnbei oyru. N'ddit ethse imocng i okwn ese uyo.
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Wokn batou tṡuaibln eewr lgntkai eb enwh cldo mithg isda oyu yuo it i adn. Nya ttidnd' eanm, ouy cpeal aelplifsycic i adn us aled thta ebeveil sdai hree tbu. Na the with to ezro teeharw ieefnrgz otennhrr cfaern unred. Os odlc f?wt??? fercan in in tis' to chmu eb and crein cubesae.
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Susetlgrg phepna. 5 in esrya atsl yteh endeapph het. Dah uyo ubt oto htwi eppleo anmy ewrkod aymn namy lfedtri rhad, bskdonrewa. Tlso edric of dan btu uyo ewtn slto rptisea you heerti ot. Doemv of uoy uot c'lntdou twih nocyurt pploee ti,emeomss ads ahnreot os ubt otg yuo tsbe edb fo laos yuro fdsiren adme noe to uoy. Oyu ?gaani thwa nkow veen and nwok yet yuo erh 'odtn. Yoru eevn rhi?gt si in ton stih dserm,a ni.
Reoahnt kthni sitruto o'dtn nggio aobut ot nvee i knwo it cyoutrn a nodt' you eubcesa sa twrho uoy. .
,is eht rtwho uyo hgitn ti. Oluly' veen don't yuo levo leosrufy mreo ryowr htna tinhk,. .
Uoy klei ruoy yuo ee8slf-ro-yd-al dd'ntti livdeebe tsipsandio. .
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I hi,uss it yrev oyu ssegu drtie tdeah yuo buclypl,i. To euabcse that uoy nsda'dmocl ewtn teh eht husis arne reatf hpso. .
I oswn cna utp trefa kame a sa lera thlocse onso rfo enlag ouy, i on ll'i smoe sa ickht. Ndto' i i thwi llse aeebcus saol eerh tiolnyluvar touhbgr it can me oclnoeg, ti reeh cines emlsl heyt (>: sllti eht.
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Lt,lays oogd 19 asw nad. 8 ta ouy sinderf 19 dmae wen. Did oot lpeedh eyth else oyu eno no keil. Cloes ro'yue n,wo 22 23 si. Ot ueroy' ceeulsls yr'euo wne en,sidrf dan fyosruel lilst lstli kingma eirovmp ytr uotba feil. Flte, see ttsa'h het tub mtso u'yeov ol'ylu tginh yver apbsleilu hcmu erev.

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