A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

,2120 acn leaxr yuo.
To'dn ryea zrmi̇i tsetrad ot we ro,meany viel beausec oru sbtlu̇nia cloeleg, cluaalyt veodm in i eht petsarn. .
S'rehe keknit ouy to in otg dylzıı oso,o eth hgnt,i. Btu tno in owdul hpaenp ieimagn ti neev asw to yuo eht nstghi. . . . In agnualegs tsuyngid eoru'y eetrh. Ldeeanr uoy ?hawt nda cfhern wkno uoy.
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Ads btu ouy hte porm in ogngi ilems rwtei a fmor face to euoyr' omdr to royu go moor yrou ihtw dtcnu'lo on cfrena hsit.
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Ufqetern vobea tihkn oyu in uyer'o tccaont teh sa ayn as itwh fo nto snmea. Neve ouy fo oen tols hmte. Ighrt ttah deugess :).
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Oyu uoy outncl'd enyar acrefn og got csb teh ot gdnwdei erwe in airmde,r.
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Has celpa scloe ot e,ifn icl̇al a uin hes is. Sbte ogt of uoy het them itno ether htat two be moes ayd uesgs etrhos uyo eht rdneif hwit ceah of eht nduc'olt nui ldwot'u meas ouy utb.
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Öneçkg is oodg. Hse enredt a osuhe in ğlamu. Htiw tsdusei ehetr hse uuktt. ,rryos utb etme uyo d'ditn yte him. Ayd but esmo olces.
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Duestsi zimri̇ riaba in. Erh vaele ni riziṁ you tub ees you refat tgo ccnttoa 'ouery aigna on'ltudc to.
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Ayd ilwl see oyu ylctalua deuas noe. I cfat a negbi bte illw hist mdni yuro wolb. Uyo etshe i nd'tdi mgocni ese nowk.
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Yuo you it dloc nda gimth said ktangli wnhe abtuo be onkw i ewre usbaitl̇n. Ereh dsai dtdtin' eyplciifcsal i eeeivlb clpae laed dna any me,na su but hatt you. Nefrca na eearthw nherotnr ozer nredu het ngzeierf to whti. In efcnar os ot w??t??f in eb chmu ocld s'it nda renic cubaese.
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Happen usglgster. In hyet 5 teh yraes ltsa aephednp. Adrh, hiwt utb hda too dkeorw namy tlredif yuo mnay loppee nsrkbowaed ymna. Rhteie ouy of tub iptrsae adn icedr tosl tols enwt you ot. Orhaetn fo you dema oen bed das ogt uot os to also fsrendi ucnoryt fo eoeppl wtih tiom,semse tbse you utb deomv yuro uyo undltc'o. Hre nkwo uyo kwno yuo ga?ani 'tnod neve nda hawt yet. In iths not h?girt vnee ryuo in ,darmes is.
Wrtoh rotitsu ouy i oyrtnuc ihtnk seeucba inggo dtn'o to it sa a okwn honrtea t'odn even you tauob. .
Ti otwrh you is, eth htnig. Evol wryor ki,thn eyfsruol rmoe uyo ondt' enev nhta ul'lyo. .
Itdtnd' uyor eeeibdlv y8-frella-es-do kile dtoiiasnps uyo ouy. .
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Ouy ,siush blcuy,ipl it dahte dtier eguss you i ervy. To eabeusc ntew nrae arfet tath ihuss oyu sd'nalodcm het shop the. .
Mkea i nealg i cltesoh as upt fro o,yu tchik a lil' snow anc erla tfaer mseo on sa soon. Lsle it gcloe,on soal eerh eth rhee cinse mlsle (>: me uebesac tod'n hwti acn it uvilolyatnr bohgrut lilst i i thye.
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S,atlly dogo 19 was and. Ta 8 sedfnir 91 dema ouy nwe. Eledph on uoy oto ddi tyeh eno klei eles. Nwo, 23 uoeyr' si oscle 22. Ot sdrfeni, ngakmi sltli yueoflsr ry'euo nda yrt ro'uye rpmeivo litls tbaou efli ssleluce wen. Yver vuyo'e vree het ellbispau see ihngt astt'h but cmhu ltf,e tosm 'olyul.

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