A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Rlexa uyo nca 122,0.
̇mzrii autcylla medov i to ew aemyonr, levi cbsueea ni het erya pastern cego,lle ȧtbnlusi setdrat no'td our. .
In ogt teh ouy osoo, to 'serhe ientkk ıldızy tignh,. Ubt oyu nvee ot the asw ton in isnhgt pahpne it ouwdl maiigne. . . . Tngyisdu o'ryeu teher in algasnuge. Oyu hwat? yuo and nowk rlnaede frcneh.
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Fnaerc oruye' ni ouy tbu drmo uo'ndlct the selim romo og sda siht your to a rweti omrp morf thiw uyor on gngio cafe to.
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Whti het cttanco sa msean in as fo e'oruy not nhikt any ebvao erqnetuf uyo. Meth neev uyo fo one slto. Guedses ): hrgti that.
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Niegwdd necrfa ewer het tulcd'no ot ogt ,marider sbc go you you in naeyr.
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Loesc is ahs she a to e,inf il̇alc nui pecal. Yuo mteh nefdir itno of hte ogt of tub taht erteh uyo het sbte ulot'wd semo ady seusg wto hotesr thiw you easm eth nui be udcnlt'o hcae.
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Si oogd gçnkeö. Ehs hsoeu a nedret muğal ni. Hwit isdtues rehte hse ututk. You utb imh yet r,ysor 'itdnd etme. Tub locse oesm yda.
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Suetids ni biara żirim. Lveae o'yrue izṁri ese btu to erh dtnlcu'o ouy yuo tog ianga rteaf ni tncaoct.
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Yda yuo ees ueads illw one ultcayla. A ctaf tish yoru neigb will mdin etb wblo i. Ese i sheet okwn 'tdnid ouy nomcgi.
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Be antglki tinaslu̇b oyu ouy odcl i adis wokn abuto ti wehn wree imthg and. Uoy dti'ntd ubt adn pecal thta us evbieel dias an,me yan elad ehre ecpasyilfcil i. Nracfe onrerhtn iwth oezr to fzringee het na ruend eewrhat. Ot cdol dan be hmuc 'tis irnec ni so ?fw???t eucsbea nrefac in.
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Npphae gutrssgel. Eth nhdeepap ythe 5 satl in sarye. Aymn ubt ,hdar ppeelo oto oyu ahd myan twih wasnrkeodb efrdtli ynam ekorwd. Ubt atrepis ot yuo wnet dan uyo fo tosl dceri slto treihe. Ouy ads dame tbes retohan medvo ncyortu ot so pleoep saol iwht of you 'onctdlu uoy uroy of tbu uto dnseifr one edb tog ,siestoemm. 'odtn even tey nda kown awht oyu uoy iaa?gn hre kown. ,drmesa ni tshi is nto ni vene oyru ?thgri.
Rothw htkni ti not'd ot hrnaeto evne uoy auotb ycutrno ascuebe 'ntod irtstuo owkn a oigng oyu i as. .
Eth is, tignh uoy it towhr. Oerm neve htan rluseyfo oyu ,kinht yol'ul owrry d'not leov. .
Aisspniodt lkie esy--8-flrdleoa uoy bdveleei ryou you tiddtn'. .
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Trdei you dtaeh ouy iplly,cub it i ussge s,hsiu yver. Ot ahtt psoh hiuss yuo went ftrae mcdnla'osd eht eht naer cbaeeus. .
Eglna kitch as real i nows echotls smoe as taerf on for nsoo lli' i a nac mkae uoy, put. It gutrobh >(: eht acbeeus mlesl rehe alos lesl tslli hwit icens me yhet hree i nac le,ongoc i lraliynotvu ti 'odtn.
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Ltya,sl 91 wsa nda ogod. Rsndfei mdea 91 8 uoy at nwe. Peehld on tyeh uyo lese elki oto one ddi. 22 ocles nw,o yoer'u 23 si. Ucslsele wen eilf fyolures slitl nmigak oatub lstli dan to id,nesrf yo'eru ytr yo'reu emovpir. Cmhu psieallbu ese igthn ly'uol ostm veer rvye ,ftel eth btu s'taht u'vyoe.

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