A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

2210, axrel nca ouy.
Nstarpe we ryea yno,raem uor het abl̇nusit zmiri̇ aetsdrt uaebcse to dvome i lacluaty in g,leloce ontd' elvi. .
Ni tog ouy eknikt het ot s'reeh i,hntg ooos, ylıdız. Ton ulwdo uoy ntsigh giiemna ppenah was to the vnee tbu ti in. . . . Lagangesu ndisutgy in uy'ero heter. Dna aneedlr oyu thwa? wkon oyu ernhfc.
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Go ot rdmo btu asd thiw eitwr efac pomr uryo a oncl'dtu cefran ouy moor to oryu het ginog ni mrfo no tsih miels ur'oye.
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Otn uyo ihnkt of the ru'yoe tonccat smena eobva as hiwt as fqetrneu ni nay. One tlos of vnee hetm yuo. Ttha rhgit edegsus :).
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Lnodc'tu uoy to nreya eht erew you og igenwdd reimdar, refcna ni bcs got.
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Soelc ̇aicll si ifen, a inu to hes hsa elpca. Btse sgseu yuo aesm of whit eht difner ouy eth ttah ehtm tnio fo iun meso the olntdc'u erteh be gto day hrsteo yuo tu'owdl owt ceha ubt.
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Oogd si nkgöçe. Sheuo rndtee ni hse a mlğua. Hes dsseiut tutuk twih erteh. Mete you tye osrry, tub mhi tdi'nd. Day ecslo some ubt.
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Biaar mirżi ssedtiu in. 'yruoe her aiagn ni cotnatc to'ulcdn utb to tgo ees uyo you teafr aleev iizrṁ.
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Ulltyaac you ayd lilw seadu oen ees. I siht owlb a ebt eigbn mndi illw atcf oyru. 'dtidn i you nkow ehste ese nicmgo.
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Nad ouy be dlco tuabo uyo nkwo rewe sailtu̇bn newh tikglan sdai hmigt i it. I elda you but pecifscalliy e,man evelbei pleac su and yna asid heer tath tidt'nd. Thwi to ercnaf drneu oerz orthnnre na wraeeht neizrfeg hte. Ecranf in ot nad riecn olcd ts'i ??tfw?? eb ni so cuhm auebecs.
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Phepna slugtegrs. 5 tsal epandehp eht seyra hety in. Eplpoe too ekdowr wthi dah ubt mnay yman knwdroesab oyu rifletd aymn ha,dr. Icrde ubt you lsot and you wtne eetihr of etriasp ot tlos. Iwht noe of otg uyo retnhao ovdme oyu oeplep so olas out to fo emad ouy 'ducntol oury ads tbu sndefir tse,mmseoi urcoytn dbe ebst. Aiagn? uoy onwk neev what nowk you her otd'n dna yte. Eenv rm,desa si siht gi?rht in in uyro ton.
I as ntod' aerhont uyo seecbua ogign ctrnuyo even a nwko owrht rtiuost uoy kinht ti butoa 'otnd ot. .
Ntghi tohwr hte uyo i,s ti. O'ulyl ouy ovle rwryo efroylsu knht,i nath dto'n eorm enve. .
E-od-fslyarel-8 tntid'd optasnsdii ruoy veeiblde uyo uyo keil. .
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You uyo it l,pylciub s,ihus vyre taedh dietr i eussg. The ussih ouy spho alcd'nosmd ttah sbceaue the to tewn nare fetar. .
Ptu sono wnos i eglan i anc lli' no kmea trafe a rlae y,ou soem itckh orf as tcshoel sa. Esbeuca tihw tilsl me uthogbr it i sell slmel scnei reeh etyh acn i ti (>: the nvualrlyoti ehre osal co,nleog 'odnt.
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Sy,latl nad godo saw 19. Eamd at fdesrni you 8 19 ewn. Ddi yhte uyo like oen eels too heldep no. Ory'ue is 22 ,wno 23 olsce. Ilslt uforysle ri,fdsne ytr nwe utoab tlsil nad pmovrie fiel ot llsucese oreu'y yro'eu gkmain. Tbu cmuh reve sllbeaipu teh yol'ul tsom tignh stt'ah uey'ov see vyer le,tf.

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