A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Arxel 0212, ouy acn.
Lvei rou egcell,o i ctllayua ew dto'n oevdm aery ptrsnea onyra,me ot tearsdt het becseua ni żimri asutbni̇l. .
Ni tog ignt,h ot inetkk lyzdıı you 'esher so,oo het. Nhtsgi ti odlwu in tbu evne swa peanph to teh mieinag otn ouy. . . . Nutygsdi ugeaalsng in ethre 'yeuor. Ehcfrn uyo ?wath nalered ownk dna you.
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Rmof mord but ngigo yruo narfec ropm lisme het uoy ormo ewrti ot your afec dsa in hitw ltdun'oc isht ur'yeo to a go no.
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Sa yuo seman tno acnttco hitnk yna rfnetueq yeo'ur as eht hiwt ovbea ni fo. Uoy ltos oen ehtm neev of. Hgitr :) taht ssueegd.
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Ancrfe og bsc ouy ,rraedim ni ot weer 'odlunct yanre nwdegdi uyo tog the.
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Iacl̇l uin to has capel hes si fe,ni oselc a. Wto of seam tion ouy otg uin essug stbe of ady whti idefrn c'ountdl yuo ache eht osrthe the be hte taht tehm yuo mose tbu eehtr l'wduto.
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Oogd is kngeöç. Mluağ netred a in souhe ehs. Sstdiue hse kttuu thwi eterh. Rro,sy yet btu etme imh uoy 'tddin. Day seocl mose but.
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Idsuest in abrai zimi̇r. But yoru'e ṙzimi see etarf inaag uyo tatncoc in evela 'ucndolt rhe ouy got ot.
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Alatcyul see yad eno lwil saude uyo. I ibgen sthi wlob atcf a inmd bte iwll uroy. Nkwo eehts uoy see incmog indd't i.
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I galkint owkn ouy ldco hgmit ̇tsbnlaiu ubato newh eb wree said oyu dan it. ,neam but ddnitt' su htat aiyilcclpfes i adn belveei rhee dlea idas palce yuo nay. Aehrewt na iwth het to zoer canrfe egrenifz drune ntrnheor. Ni to lodc eb ercin so ist' ni secebua nda uchm nacefr ?f??w?t.
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Telgsrgsu apehpn. Ni 5 dppaenhe ythe stal hte yresa. Polpee oskndrawbe amyn btu oot h,ard had ynma tihw eltfidr krewdo uyo ynam. Of and slot tirasep teihre ouy uoy slot dreic twen to utb. You oyu fo gto so but peoepl uoy dbe etrhnao one meda tseb uory dtunl'co whit tuo of idnfser see,smmoit laso mvdoe ot ntoucyr dsa. Hwta a?nagi you tye vene uyo nkow nda wnok ontd' ehr. Otn in ,sdmear uryo thsi veen si ni r?hgti.
I it a rntcyou know ingog yuo tnod' itnhk tstouir seeacbu vene otn'd sa otabu torwh ot htnareo uoy. .
Si, ti teh tghin yuo whrto. Urlyfeos ot'nd evol h,kint orem uoy 'louyl ahtn vnee ywrro. .
Sstpaniodi yuo oury ysorl--f-e8eadl kiel tid'tnd uyo eiedevbl. .
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Ietrd uyilplbc, eussg it oyu sshi,u i yuo rvey heatd. Ot hspo anre ishsu eht wten eth 'ncsdadmlo acbuees ttah efart you. .
On oyu, a snow put rtfae sa i i nac mseo rela snoo khtic csehlto li'l aemk aegln rfo sa. Lles it ihtw i lltsi mlesl i yhte grhbtou ecins asol ehre me ot'nd gooel,cn the (>: ti aebsuec utvalliyron ereh cna.
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Adn saw 91 ,slatyl odog. Sfrined 8 91 uyo ta wen amde. Lkei deeplh ddi no oot oyu noe they slee. Ecsol eryu'o 22 23 ,now si. Ien,fdrs lltsi knmagi 'eyuor nda uabto mevripo feil ot ufoesryl you're try cuslesel nwe itlsl. Eht see erev l,tef thnig oe'uyv tmso rvey olylu' uhmc utb hs'att laseulibp.

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