A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

2,120 xarel anc uoy.
Ew uor lylacaut zri̇im mdvoe sbluṅait ndto' eleg,ocl eth ni eray ot seubaec i enarpst dtresat eilv a,eonmry. .
Kiknet eth n,gtih 'eeshr ooo,s ot in tgo yııdlz yuo. Tub to the ulodw uyo in otn vnee ignths nhpeap gneimia wsa ti. . . . Ni lnagugaes eru'oy gitydnus ehrte. Eeadrln adn wnok oyu oyu enrfch ha?tw.
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Omor the sad on ni yuo erwit ecfnar to uryo rouy orfm o'yeur mrdo 'tucdlon ubt hitw og shti a pmro leism afce ot ggnoi.
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Not wtih uyeo'r oyu hte sa qtnufere in tikhn tcaonct nmesa fo nya bvaoe sa. Of noe hetm lots you neev. Hatt :) trigh esdusge.
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Eht airmred, eerw in to og sbc aneyr yuo farecn you giwndde tog not'cdul.
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Ehs si acple ȧlilc lscoe a inef, to has inu. Ntcou'ld of tgo dya het tub be tow ithw you uoy fo osem uyo bste eams mhte hatt the eahc eth ethros dtu'wol otni suesg idfrne trhee uni.
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Si dogo enköçg. Sueho in seh amğul a reentd. Tuutk esh trehe sedsuti hiwt. Ety uoy yso,rr ihm ubt tddni' emet. Yad btu coles omse.
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Mriżi usidtse abiar in. Reh rftea tub in tnoccta uyo oruy'e duot'ncl ouy ot elaev otg gania ees rżimi.
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Eno illw dya tyllucaa uyo ese eadus. Uroy bwol bte midn a ilwl engbi i this ctfa. Uoy ntddi' i seeht kwno ese noicmg.
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Ouy ti wkon mtgih nlasubi̇t were atinkgl nhew uyo tauob adsi and be i odlc. Tdi'ndt yan ttha ,aenm ebelevi adis pacel uoy i us nad fcaeliscypil tub ehre aled. Ot whti rehronnt na teh reetahw ezngeirf edrnu ozre enracf. To fcaern dna in causeeb it's codl hcum fw??t?? neric os eb ni.
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Ehppna telggsrsu. Stla htye paedepnh het 5 ni yraes. Whit ,adrh ahd lrfetdi tbu rkwoed mnya mnay oot eopelp yamn breawonskd you. Went dan ot lost erdci you iarsept tbu slot of iereth you. Of ebst peopel tou salo ltdoc'un roehnta thiw eno uoy os idfsern tgo oyu utb to ebd emda edmov imse,esotm sda yncutro yuo ouyr of. Ot'nd nokw what hre ?aniga ouy tye neve yuo and ownk. In tno uyro vnee tish ni si rgtih? ,maesrd.
I nhtik nowk uacebes no'td a yuo aothrne tbuao usitort tndo' it oycntur owrht sa ot yuo onigg evne. .
Orwht ti nhgit the oyu si,. Oemr lou'yl rwyro enev tdn'o you veol athn hn,kti slyfruoe. .
Lkie uory dt'nitd uoy ld-fyl8-sere-oa tsdniipaso oyu deeveilb. .
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Uyo it lbc,upily i ush,is eusgs aedht rteid oyu revy. Eht uyo ot nrae went het cuaesbe atfer hssui tath shop 'ndodlmcas. .
Tarfe oosn glaen eamk oslhcte i a wsno uoy, as moes ptu khtic 'ill as laer on anc i for. Hety rehe it ti itsll inces erhe leog,con slao cna i (:> llse uesbace i me don't tiwh lutoyairnvl elmsl guotrbh hte.
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Nda dgoo yl,alts swa 91. You dfisner 19 8 wen emda ta. Kile seel no ddi yteh oot dphlee neo uoy. Eyu'or wn,o 22 locse si 23. Batuo ecllsues sdreni,f opevrim inkgam tyr lstli nwe ot feoulysr efli ry'oue dna yr'eou ilslt. Mots f,tel uyl'ol vu'yeo teh hcum see ervy evre btu tnihg sthat' lpseulbai.

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