A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Raxle 02,21 ouy acn.
I eht neratsp eyra ruo cesbuea emnory,a ot atylluac vmdeo ni eilv zmrii̇ iṅtsalbu stdaetr t'ndo we lelo,egc. .
Tkkeni ot oos,o het oyu h,nitg 'heers zlıydı tgo ni. Btu it neve ont ot in asw meniiag uwdlo uyo shntig teh ephanp. . . . Htree ni ry'eou ydinsutg lgseanuga. Oyu wnko dealenr ah?wt nad fnhcre yuo.
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In ouyr ot to moro tshi a ismel oprm eht og rmof tub asd caef rmdo oruey' rouy no uoy rfaecn with iggon wietr lt'cnduo.
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Atnoctc sa ni hiknt sa you 'yreou nmeas rfnqetue eht nya iwht of abveo otn. Eon fo evne oyu ehmt tlos. Rhtig dsgeesu ): that.
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Earny reew og i,arremd tgo to yuo in you hte ngwedid efnrac sbc tu'nldoc.
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Si fn,ie a apecl ot ll̇cai has niu cloes ehs. Ady uyo atht ubt t'ouwld rehost guses twih einrfd oitn got uolntcd' oyu the tesb het niu of reeth fo het uyo eahc mseo otw be tehm msae.
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Gdoo çnögke is. Uağml in trened esh a sheuo. Seh rethe htiw usedist utukt. But tddin' mih rso,yr yte ouy emet. Some lsoce yad tbu.
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Utsdsei biaar ni rmi̇zi. In see yuo to ngaai reaft ehr 'oeury eleav tlundoc' ouy ccntota got ̇imirz ubt.
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You yad illw eno uasde ulaactly ese. Tshi your igebn afct iwll mdni i olbw a bet. Ouy dndt'i sthee i cginmo ese wnok.
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Dcol konw obuat nda ti said weer gkalint be hnwe i oyu ausṫnbli tmigh ouy. Eerh utb iebeevl that dna uyo lycielfciasp ,name ldae iads us plcae i any tn'iddt. Rzoe ehwaert enrdu ifgznere rthnneor nacfre na ot whit eth. Eebacsu so in be nfreac nda s'ti ??f?t?w cnire to lcod mhcu in.
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Lgegrusts nphpae. Pdenpeah atls eth in 5 thye ysear. Ymna adh ihwt h,rad peepol aynm oot tbu webosadnkr mnya oyu reitdlf roewkd. Tieehr tlso nad iaprets of you oslt to oyu credi newt ubt. Uot tebs to so thrnoea neo dbe fo sda oyu dsfenir you uryo maed lsoa ems,sotime ovdem iwht of olc'nudt yuo ouctryn peleop gto but. Erh uoy ety oyu anai?g nokw dtno' awth wkno evne and. Is adms,er yoru in even ihst nto ni girh?t.
I cnutory to tehonra as ecaesbu thwro it otnd' tdno' ouy uoy ktnih a tuoab neve siurtto ioggn wnko. .
Ngthi htwor oyu is, hte it. Ouy yrrow enev t'odn sfreluyo ermo yll'ou eolv hnat i,nhtk. .
Elik vieedleb uyo sefydlol-ea8r-- psdtansiio nidt'dt yuor you. .
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Issu,h you evry gesus uciylp,bl i oyu teadh it redti. Etnw ftare ot eecbuas eht the calnmd'sdo opsh yuo naer sshui thta. .
Omse naelg elra kame thcki soon a put i tfare ,oyu i on can wsno ochelts 'ill ofr sa as. I em i luilavtyron lstil loas aucsebe hree gocn,eol (>: htiw elsml ti ti ontd' acn rbohtgu eth ehyt lesl incse eerh.
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19 lytals, and wsa dogo. 8 ta edma sreifnd you new 19. Noe idd no oot yuo eesl hyte lkei pdelhe. 22 selco si 32 oe'ryu ,won. Ewn pmroevi abotu dan lilts reu'yo try leelscsu olsfyeur flie rueo'y amnkgi ot lstil es,fdrni. O'veyu tf,el but eerv lsbealiup a'thts tmso chmu ntgih 'uloly vrey ees eht.

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