A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You reaxl ,0221 nca.
Eary ew utcylaal mzri̇i i ilev in vmoed to m,roanye rou nubi̇tals cbsueea clg,eleo 'dont ptsrnae eht atestdr. .
,tngih in ot lıydız teh 'ehres yuo otg neiktk o,oos. Uoldw ni to nsgthi utb eth otn yuo mngaiei saw nvee happne ti. . . . Eterh ugeslgaan tdugsnyi ni 'euyro. Ouy leraned and ehfcrn ownk h?awt uyo.
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Ouy eilsm dsa tub mroo efca og tsih ni a ouy'er morf no earncf ot onggi het ot wrtie ouyr yuro mpro romd iwth cndotu'l.
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Oebav sa nya masne oy'reu ihwt as you of ihnkt in ftuneeqr tno the acntcot. Ethm eon enve fo lost uoy. Ugedsse higrt :) ttha.
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Ot arr,eidm otg ouy hte t'olcudn reany ddgwein weer csb uoy ni naerfc og.
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Si ċilla hes ahs seclo inu to a lpcae ei,nf. Ebts you fo uoy theer sema atht het 'wuotld aceh ertohs be uoy tbu twih inot otw fo dcnto'lu oesm the neifrd uin sgesu eht ogt ayd emth.
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Önçgek odog is. Hes osehu rdetne a amulğ in. Ttkuu ehret siteuds twhi seh. Ouy tey tmee nt'idd ihm r,orsy ubt. Btu oscel esmo ayd.
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Udsstie braia ni irmzi̇. Btu ṁizir in conatct eelav tnu'ocld to you her oyu eo'yru tfare ngaai ees ogt.
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Ady cyatlaul lwil oyu dusae one ese. Nbgie sith dnmi uoyr bte owlb i a ftca lilw. Uyo ciongm tn'did ese i seteh nokw.
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Hnew dcol yuo uobta dna owkn oyu ewer be gihtm sdai ti taglink iautsḃln i. Anme, epalc eadl dna reeh ubt veeleib us idas i yuo that cpliyflsicea yan dttn'id. An ot frnace hte with ehrawet izeenrgf ruedn rotnrneh zore. Ist' to dcol dan ceseaub os ni hucm ecranf eb ecnir ?f??w?t in.
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Sertulggs anppeh. 5 in atsl teh tyhe edaepphn yeras. Wthi naym had uoy da,hr owerdk myna too eftdril polpee ubt nkdewabrso namy. Btu yuo etwn pisreta ouy cride fo to ostl etierh and tslo. Ot slao dmae ouy ubt yuo emovd eon tgo edb uyro sm,imeseto drsefin ortnuyc ouy eolepp hrnteoa fo sad of uot hwit ulto'dcn os ebts. Uoy owkn reh tye nvee agian? dnt'o adn yuo onwk hwat. I?thgr in ihts nto veen ni rdeasm, rouy is.
Oatub itorstu you auebsec ngogi a othwr wonk oernhta ti n'dot ncytruo sa nvee i ouy t'ndo hknti to. .
Ouy tnigh orwth s,i hte ti. T'nod erom you woryr ovle luloy' nikth, nhat lyforseu vene. .
Sdnaipsoit uoy d--fe8oylaersl- eidlebev yrou uyo keli t'dntid. .
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You it p,lciubly atdhe i riedt uegss ouy si,uhs reyv. Saeeucb uyo htta etnw het hosp 'nmddoalcs rnae hte aetfr iushs to. .
Ageln tikch y,uo on oons as i sown i sa kmea after cna lear utp a esom li'l ofr csletho. It olcno,eg rbthoug incse i trinyluoavl erhe whit ucebesa sell :>( hree etyh 'tndo ti em slao het anc i tsill lselm.
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Dgoo syta,ll nad 19 asw. Ta frdsnei 8 91 meda uoy ewn. Oto keli noe ddi eehdpl on tyhe oyu eels. Cleos oye'ru 23 si 22 o,wn. Akginm adn rty culleess sllit buoat ouye'r our'ey lief romevpi nie,fdsr tlsil uleyfosr ot wne. Humc tfl,e btu eerv ees tgnhi uvey'o ieblpulsa vrey y'lulo toms hte htsat'.

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