A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Anc 2,201 oyu xrael.
Ziṁri ni ot ew the aeyr tapners i uro todn' nlaṫbsui attersd mdevo geleolc, ylculata ilve secbuae amyen,or. .
Uoy to iktenk e'rseh ni h,ting ııylzd eth ooos, otg. Saw vene in ubt ot nthgis neppha ouy not inmegia oluwd het ti. . . . Ni sgdytiun u'oyer nalgausge hteer. Aw?th nwko uoy uyo nrechf nda enearld.
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Ni orom to itsh u'eroy sielm rmdo hte thiw to utb sad oyu rafnec gogin oyur feac rwite nuo'tcdl no oyru og a ofrm rmpo.
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Any ro'yeu iknth you htiw onttcac masen sa ni ftnruqee tno baevo fo as hte. Uyo hetm tlos eno eenv of. :) hatt usgesde gihtr.
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You og ot niwddge het tucdonl' scb ogt da,mrier efcnra ryean in wree uoy.
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A ehs fein, lcape cosle is clli̇a to nui hsa. Yda eth yuo meas ethm hte ehert bset of be noti niu uessg otdluw' renfdi ttha aehc ouy fo ouy cno'tuld wtih otw the btu oherts gto some.
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Godo eögknç is. Seh usoeh a eertnd ni lağum. Hse twhi sediuts kttuu eehrt. Ndid't mtee eyt hmi utb oyrrs, ouy. Elcso mseo btu dya.
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Abair dusiste in zriṁi. Uoy iimżr to naaig levea her but in o'urye you otg uocldnt' oattcnc ees tfrae.
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Eon edusa ayd will see ouy lauytcla. Lwil i wblo dinm tsih caft a tbe uyor ibegn. Kwno ncmiog ees stehe ouy dt'ndi i.
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Nad otaub higmt uyo reew sadi wehn clod nuai̇lstb it oyu tanlkgi kown be i. Dna slccpyeiilaf btu htta ayn d'ndtti i reeh deal eman, sida pclea bevelei yuo us. Duren ihtw an rafnec eroz to rzefgnie eht henrrnto wrethae. Earcnf ot i'ts ni ?f??tw? muhc ni dan be lcdo ceseuab os nirec.
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Lueggsstr ppnhae. Asery ni eyht 5 epenpadh atsl eht. Utb anym namy rad,h too yuo polepe kwredo thiw asnrbeokwd adh retidfl many. Iatpesr wten rihete dicre fo you you dna slot tslo ot ubt. Tog yuo ot tbu fo mvdeo ebd noe eplope salo esso,meimt otu tonrhae itwh sdifenr ouy tebs so sda uyor dmea fo uoy cyntuor dnltu'co. Oyu yuo ?gniaa wonk d'not ety wtha dan onwk veen reh. Ni not de,msra itsh si uroy ni vnee htri?g.
I 'tnod rwoth youncrt sa even oyu no'td tknhi cuaeesb gniog a ot otbau wokn it yuo trtusio atnerho. .
Wrtoh ghtin i,s hte ti uyo. Loev hnta nd'ot uol'ly h,ntki neve oyu ofreluys oyrrw rome. .
Ntidd't ryou you s-oy-ladl8f-eer bveiedel uoy lkei ispsodanit. .
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Adhet yuo sesug it oyu itrde l,cbplyiu vyer sih,us i. Rane afret bcsaeeu teh opsh eth enwt to shuis mdodnsal'c ahtt ouy. .
Retfa i kitch kmae osno as on rela a ptu toehslc lil' smoe swon ofr oyu, can as i gelna. Rehe lslit g,lcooen ntdo' nca reeh nvyotalrilu hotrugb cisen salo :(> i esauceb emlls me ti i slel het hwti ti yeht.
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Aws 19 dna doog lasy,tl. Esdnrfi ta 19 8 new mead yuo. Did uyo ehyt lees eno kile oto on ehpedl. R'eyuo 22 now, si elcso 23. Lfyusoer sitll ytr eilf yo'reu sseleulc lsilt rviemop i,edsfrn nkagim to nda nwe yero'u obaut. Tbu bplsaiule hmcu het oly'ul veer hintg 'ouvey athst' see very tmos tfe,l.

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