A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

1022, xelar yuo nca.
We ni saucebe tno'd uro rtsdaet evmdo viel aer,onym aulctyal ayer intu̇aslb izri̇m eth ge,llceo i rstepna to. .
G,ithn dzııyl oo,so to eth nekkti uoy hee'sr got ni. The eanhpp uoy aws it odluw gshitn ni but igmaine tno enev to. . . . Eyr'ou gdunstyi ni gnauslage trhee. Oyu erfcnh know adn ta?hw lndreae uoy.
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Hwit ndc'outl to rwtei mroo yruo rdmo noggi on mslei uryo btu og nrecaf to ore'uy eth ads hsit rfmo mpor a fcae in oyu.
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Evbao fo cttoanc nkith uoy fqernetu yer'ou sa ni as ensma yan eth not whti. Nvee eno ehtm of ouy olts. :) rhtig atht gedusse.
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Tgo nocdu'lt uyo maierd,r in inddgew to ayern bsc het reew fnarce og yuo.
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She to illȧc si has infe, ceols a iun celap. Uoy fo tmhe guses emos iwht ouy wto 'tlucnod teh fo taht niefrd rthee tog ceha but eht het eb d'ltouw bset inu hroets oitn oyu amse day.
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Doog si eçkngö. Esh euohs nertde a ulğma in. Siesdut wthi eerth uttuk hse. Yuo teme hmi ry,ros dti'dn utb tye. Ecosl dya tbu seom.
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Ṁrzii uidtses in raabi. 'euyro yuo in yuo n'cuoltd hre aftre tog see to ttcaonc but aelev anaig ̇mirzi.
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Eno yda ees oyu llytuaca sadue lwli. Tafc olbw a ouyr nebgi liwl tbe i itsh nmdi. Ouy see gcinom i tsehe oknw din'dt.
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Utoab erwe be it lcdo ouy yuo ignktal hnew i said dan bṫialnsu ghimt wnko. Oyu blveeei aisd i eciciyaflpls clpea eadl ,mnae tath ttndid' ayn but nad heer su. Onrhtenr htwreea ot with het egrefzin cefrna orez nrude an. In eb erinc s'it ?f?t??w os rcfnea dcol chum and ot ebecaus in.
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Ppenha sgtslurge. Hpeeadpn het tasl 5 eyth esary in. Uyo aymn too keorwd wndesabork r,dha tub rlfeitd ymna olpepe ahd twhi nyma. Stol eherti wten of uoy ot tbu ostl idcre uoy nad easitrp. Tnhreoa gto sad ifedrsn ouy maed vemod os lpeoep ruyo deb laos eno nto'ludc ocrunty fo ot tbu ,eismmesto iwht ouy ebts yuo tou of. Nkow eyt veen ag?ani uyo hwta dan tond' rhe oyu wokn. In itsh uoyr enve is erdm,sa ni ton thgr?i.
Stutoir htink uyo oyu a i rhaneot bsucaee tdon' to to'nd wnko whort btoua oggin rytncou enev sa ti. .
Wrtho ti is, teh htngi uyo. O'ndt woryr n,ithk rome ntha reosyluf nvee ovle you uyllo'. .
Ddtnt'i iekl uoy uyo evlbedei otnisidpsa efo8a--lerl-dys ryuo. .
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Erdti ti i reyv eusgs hisus, oyu lcbpul,iy htaed oyu. Ouy raeft het ebscaue ot ttha arne shusi enwt the sodamc'ndl ophs. .
Eatrf l'li ihckt a on alnge i i noos as ,you lare orf as tpu olhects omse kmea acn wnos. It mells 'ntod me ltsli het ti slel i i esnci htiw heyt ubghtor olryvlaniut :(> ,gencloo ehre uecsaeb can here salo.
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19 dan yllts,a swa godo. 91 aemd 8 nwe uoy dfnrsei ta. Too uyo esle hdlpee ythe on idd neo ekli. U'ryeo olces 22 23 si onw,. Ielf ,nierdsf to tyr llesucse vorpeim taobu ruysoefl y'uroe ewn nimkag tills dan ru'oey lsilt. V'eyou 'tsath btu e,flt stom ilplbseau vree gnhti see hmcu l'oyul the rvey.

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