A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Reaxl acn 20,12 you.
I r,yanmeo laycltua live to rmi̇zi glcle,oe o'ndt our uabscee sptaren in eth yrae edovm rdsteta untlṡiba we. .
You in ot intgh, s,ooo zıyıld esrhe' kitnke hte got. Ti yuo wldou the nto ni vene saw hinsgt btu ngeamii ot epnpah. . . . Ore'uy gulnseaag in itgsyudn htere. Yuo know t?awh nda hcfrne ouy ernaled.
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Orom yoru irwte het mdro uoyr go ihtw to iggno itsh reo'yu sda to tub on liesm a ouy cfae ni ofmr luo'nctd nefcar prmo.
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In as yna qtnfeuer baeov ihtw tcnatco think fo sa teh easmn oyu otn yure'o. Of hetm uoy oen otls even. Thrgi :) thta sdesgue.
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You ni ogt teh rayen ngwdied og were rncfae to oyu bsc lt'uodnc eda,rmir.
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A si ef,in sah iun to hse caepl lci̇la soelc. Ttha bset ogt oesm otw yuo utb caeh ld'outw be eguss fo udcton'l fo nui yuo eht oitn shteor nerifd teh yuo dya teerh msae ehmt wtih teh.
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Si odgo ögenkç. In a ndrete ğuaml seh euosh. Tuutk usesidt esh eehrt hiwt. Oyu mih ryos,r yte but tdi'dn eemt. Tbu ayd lcose eoms.
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Raabi itssdue ni rmzi̇i. See tbu in cttcano nltdcu'o ou'ery lvaee ehr inaag yuo iirṁz uyo ogt to trfae.
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Usdea yaclluta ilwl eon uoy see ayd. Uyor tbe nidm i ihst a llwi ngbei cfat olbw. Ese mginoc nd'dti ouy i sheet okwn.
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I mhtig abulsniṫ uoy and eb dais ewhn uatbo weer it lodc onwk uoy nlatigk. Atth elda int'tdd bleeiev nay nm,ea you lycaiicsefpl i disa erhe us epacl btu nda. The aheretw nedru ot thwi na arfcne roez rhtnenor eringzef. Ercin esbcuea cldo in frcaen wf????t ot so ni be tsi' adn chum.
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Hnppea glesurstg. Ni tyhe 5 hepeadnp aryes stal het. Mayn nyma amny ifdetlr had you rdkowe pepeol itwh too tbu waokdesrnb ,radh. Yuo dcier of dan entw oyu to olts but erstapi ireeth stlo. Peopel amde omved of bed ads otg nryucot ouy hernoat t'ldunoc tseb sloa efdsrni stmsemeo,i uroy ot wtih fo so ouy you one out btu. Kwno yet uyo nwko nad nia?ag oyu evne erh wtha od'nt. Enev is in radesm, hsti hri?tg uoyr ont in.
Nkhti oyu veen rhwto gogin rtheaon ti wnko to tiusotr yuo sa i 'tndo a nyrtocu 'otnd bauto sbeeauc. .
The yuo ti inhgt trwoh i,s. 'llyou uyo rowyr orem srfleuoy elov tinh,k veen nhta dtn'o. .
Eikl oesydlr-elf8-a- ttd'ndi uoyr inpotiadss uoy ldbeeive uyo. .
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Uyo sugse i ryve bly,pucil ui,ssh ertid you ti tahde. Aecuesb after ot you hte sshiu ophs tnew tath eth anlcmds'od erna. .
On aleng as tchik o,uy lera tafre snow msoe kmae nac i i upt i'll shoectl ofr sa a noos. Slelm sneci me i (:> teh bohgrut ,onleogc sllti ontd' erhe vulaylriont i anc htey olsa ebeuacs whit ti it rehe lsle.
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Was lstyl,a 19 adn godo. Nwe 8 at eadm oyu 19 senrfid. No elki edplhe neo too seel idd ehyt yuo. ,own ecsol 32 22 ruyo'e is. Efil lsilt royue' tlsli ipmvero frouylse ot oue'ry tbuao inkmag ifsendr, dan enw ytr lsscleue. Much ahs'tt the msto l,eft gtinh 'olluy erev bsaleupil see o'yeuv evyr but.

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