A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Rlaex uoy 2,102 can.
Yera dteastr o'dnt lvie evodm ew in tsu̇nbial to le,cleog het ltcaluay apsenrt rou ̇miizr ,ryeoanm sueaceb i. .
Eh'ers eth ietnkk in sooo, itn,gh ot yldzıı otg yuo. In it stgnih pnaphe was otn dlwou ubt iageinm eht ot vnee uoy. . . . Heetr gnelugasa tnugyids oeru'y in. Fehcrn ?hawt dna lndeaer you ownk oyu.
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Eth yrou ngogi a crnaef rouy omfr rmop ni twhi go hist elmsi but riewt eo'ury no rmod face otludc'n to dsa to room yuo.
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Yna thiw e'ryou fetenrqu as as ouy knthi ni hte of not veboa oantctc aensm. Tslo even ouy emht of oen. :) thta rihgt eesgdsu.
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Tog yeanr go het yuo uoy ram,ried caerfn to cbs wree digdnew clno'dtu ni.
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Al̇lci ot si ienf, inu sha a elacp hse elcso. Egssu eb oyu tgo tow ubt ntuold'c fo oyu dya hwit fidern atht nui aceh etrohs teh hreet eht sbte of ulwdo't ouy msoe tmhe mesa onit teh.
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Odgo ögençk si. Ni auğml treend a ehs huoes. Tihw kuttu istsedu ehs eetrh. Yuo emte eyt tbu rs,yro ihm iddnt'. Utb msoe oslce ady.
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Ussedit in zmiri̇ ibara. 'ltcudno tafer you u'yreo lavee tctnoca you anaig ubt imizṙ ees in ehr ot otg.
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Daesu iwll you lauycatl ese day neo. Blow dnmi i sthi acft yoru a ebngi lilw bte. 'tdidn nkwo i etseh ese cnmgoi ouy.
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Okwn nialtkg oatub it hwen be i dna you oyu lȧbutsni dais gthmi cold were. Nya e,amn eehr us eveeilb pcael but tddi'tn tath aylciepficsl aeld dais nad i uoy. To na the theeawr ozre arenfc erndu ergiezfn hnrnetro hwti. Ecsaebu f???tw? locd acfern in in be icern s'ti and to os humc.
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Nhppae urgtgelss. 5 ni ethy syrea hte eeppndha tals. Aynm ynma ewkrdo leeopp nbowsdekar oto tbu hitw rhda, adh dreltif you nyam. Tehrei sotl iearspt tbu adn wten ot ridce fo uyo oyu lsot. Idnrsef pepoel oruy dt'uocnl laso uto tiwh domve urnytoc otg uoy oyu noe to sda mdea fo utb setb you so of aortenh ebd to,sisemme. And ?aagin konw hre yuo thaw d'ton wkno yet veen uyo. Ni ni is your sard,em nto enve ?rigth hist.
A uesecab vene nkwo dto'n it uoy ontraeh uirtost itkhn ocrtuny i batou gnogi uyo rowht nt'do as ot. .
,si uoy eht it gnhti wrhto. Ywrro od'nt rome you nath vene olve lreusyof tkh,in ulyol'. .
Uoy iadpnsosit uyo eilk in'dttd your -la-el8-frosyed vleeedib. .
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You i dheta uegss si,hus oyu rdite it blpy,lcui yevr. Htta yuo to ishus rena eescaub hte eatrf dnacsd'mol enwt teh sohp. .
O,yu emso lera on nac 'lil as rfo i ihkct wnso utp ekma sa oson i eganl a ctelhos teafr. Ti (:> emsll osal eth reeh ol,eocgn acn i vrtionullya btughor i llsti ti eher 'tnod lesl ithw teyh sniec me cbeasue.
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Good 19 asw saty,ll adn. Yuo adem nwe 91 8 at dnesrif. Dhepel idd eon on ekil oto uoy ethy eesl. 22 is oye'ur wno, 32 lecso. Adn ceulsels still sryloeuf gmnaki eivomrp sllti oautb ifle ryt ot yue'or yro'ue nwe seridn,f. Oyllu' yrve uhmc pusaillbe tmos 'tahst tbu y'ouve erev ese nihtg teh fe,tl.

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