A letter from August 11th, 2019

Peaceful right?

hey lex, it’s weird that I’ve already written 4 other letters but I feel the need to write more. This summer has been a roller coaster of emotions, we experienced some good, some bad, and some ugly. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude but it’s just been so hard lately, i spent my summer chasing after mark, i tried to hard to make us happen but he didn’t want me. He says he still likes me but he always makes mistakes and he doesn’t wanna put me through that or something ?? I haven’t texted him in almost a week but I called him yesterday to see if he could help me and isabel get our car unstuck but he said he couldn’t help and then hung up before I could say thanks anyway. I’m really hurt and I wish I didn’t feel this way. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do anymore, do I just wallow in self pity until my heart heals itself somehow ? I’m so lost and confused and I can only hope that we have our **** together by the time you get this letter. Oh also happy birthday ! make sure you get that tattoo over spring break unless you’ve decided not to then that’s fine! I hope that when I read this letter again I’ll be happier and that reading marks name won’t hurt. I’m praying for our happiness and I hope it finds us :) until we meet again, xoxo lex

Epilogue

about 2 months later

Hi lex :)

I remember that summer oh so clearly and i want to apologize for putting you through all of that hurt over a boy who doesn’t know what...

S’eh odnig. Was fo ewdolawl gnogi dogo sy)da ceoeixtpn lefs uyo done nluit hatr,e ipyt aelh renev dba uyor w(iht in so ezedalir the to ouy hte hatt veoy’u it far. Ywaa lscseas tbu sgrnip e’ewr ulaergr e,sclass week going ot em yltualca ktigna getingt hsoolc eb olgclee agtnik rfo adpi thsi eeghttro ’its brake o?d viodc tbu so erfe is ekabr fo aevh ,up vole no ulfl ew noxtnteeins lgoelec nad escau ! ’tnod vhae btu lfei nad i’m ookt pag uro l’il ihgtm a ew fro uor ot baker eyth trseh’e aoky sceueab of mrof ruo go tisll icsne ew tnwe ruo s,cseasl rou. Owh nt’deso !!! truh nto yet tup shti si ornaemy diptn,apgnisio ypahp to itntegg be hwti re’we weer liezarde onsginucf dan it oattto ttgengi ’sm dan soen ont evenr i the ym the t’nsi us vxnpeiees msea wekdnee h’es esmonoe rpseon btu tyeh we ot ): im’ ohw m’i tlas dripeec mena enrdgai eedsver ubt btu niogg ueasceb. ,bseab fg htwi euaecsb he dna saelt tsa’ht sdvseere yaphp it yhpap ta eh so won h’es emess dgoo sih so. Tieenntrgsi swa na laos kepe asw eon ): nakht hsspin,pae ti u our rfo the wi,hsse yirbahtd been trgea is’t utb fro paynrgi wkirogn it. Ot dna i syrca butoa nad hgpusni lal i we eb gnigett oozlpgiea owh os as thuothg epek 18 eyur’o alelry ohtrw adn the ot onwk ouy atht ): sa it iswh rome, duocl ainp nad adorrfw i’nst uthr guh htgrohu nakdi unf i’st slaepe si utp.
Im’ iltsl ,sppansihe for uor ygrapin.
Oxx,o xle 3<.