A letter from April 7th, 2019

Peaceful right?

Dear 26 year older Cecyl, Happy birthday, This is me, your 21-year-old self. Today is April, 27th 2019 and I'm writing this out of concern about what you're doing right now. Right now I'm working on my Tugas Akhir after sidang 2, and just to let you know, I am in the verge of giving up. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. My interest in architecture slowly fading. and because for several reasons, like pride, this moment makes me lessen my confidence. I don't know how to face the future. it's totally blank. I will graduate in like, 3 months, and i still don't know what the **** should i do after it happens. to be honest, i love about leaving school because it's been some drama **** and im sick of college. but the thought of starting something new terrifies me, especially not knowing which path to choose. id really like to think "go with the flow", but you know me, i ******* love plans. Aside from all of it, im actually pretty happy right now. This is your BTS era btw hahaha, do you still love them? Have you been gone to their concert?! Please tell me you did. Im listening to Dimple right now hahaha. Im actually wondering what's your reaction reading this, will you be sad for not fulfilling your dreams, or will you be happy because you're actually much happier than me right now? And **** while writing it, that line makes me realize something, The future is actually in my hands, for all I know right now, I will not ever give up on you. Thank you Fadh for always reminding me to not give up hahaha. I will make sure you're having the best in life that what I'm having right now. I will forever be greedy. Greedy for your happiness. Maybe life's about chasing your happiness right? You dont have to be clever, being able to do everything right, you dont gotta be perfect. ******, yes, this is life is all about. I hope youre laughing of happiness reading this. Don't worry cyl, I'll make sure you won't regret everything you do for the past 5 years :) I LOVE YOU, PLEASE KEEP LOVING YOURSELF LIKE IM STARTING ON DOING NOW. I hope I can make you proud, please still believe in yourself :)

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

27 to 21

Dear lil me,
This is me, your 27 year old self.
Back at ya babe, Happy October 14!

And BTS🤣 I’m still...

No yuo ’hvate,n r🤣m🤣y🤣a we na throhug so bengi teg dcuol isgnref nad 🏼🤞seorcsd ewilh deeivlre at.
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Hnitg d’ont iss, si to uyo od nkwo ltsil hte ihtw fli🤣e hwat i,gtnh steb uroy nynfu ubt. . Ot r’eoyu so uifgred nokw ouy eylsruof ihnsca—shwoip catlua ,nwta awht kwno ihrou,tang✨ uyo ufsroye,l yuo uoyr mchu uto oyu tayalcul uevla nkow woh you muhc —tsoorwh is eovl owh uyo dna. Htat lal tertmas dan ht’sat.
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Lepeop hetso lal u fkuc nowd upt to gtnriy. Uhtohg of tehm cmliniag oklo orlybpba hte rewho’ sit’ lo)l tirngy hyet ustj hsigmneto plo(epe thtr”u kame igbegr gnrwo ot cauytlal esadamh oto asrepd intpo stmveeehsl to kame eht herti“ pu isle ot all ufck ni.
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Teh a:wht u uryo l,lwe oalsessh✨ si wiht tlel truth “m”y utjs veil 😘evols tuhtr siel.
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Wno ni hatt rheiapp ipsl i but em vlbe—ieyeahe nca eury’o to i eescabu uyo geutneaar sya henw oysrr. U hutrohg tlo tsanidh— babe💖 sebta a a ekil vy’eou eneb urthgho fo pshu.
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Islme elttre ,esy ym and ru tups ngderai no a cfea big. Tatrs thwa a. 27. Wwo. To elebvei tc’an v’ei lysemf gifeur emit been hte envgi uto. Os tighsn yuo vigen em so h💕mcu😭 os alalh mi’ eufartgl anhkt the rof eu’voy lla ay.
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Nda. . ’odnt deram phy,pa si s,si esinge oyu nda o,wryr you ym.
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Otg ’lil alsway u ae✨bb.