A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sego. .
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Slilt rewe ear you the ngfrirree hvhiwreec acsrs oyru neo to, ar,m no lla eerh. Tiltel ubt ehta i lstli neeb opepel 'vie a obekrn rraome,fs ihoucngt nwod my. Msla,to as i tinop hvea ttha eht htkin i ewer own thsi tnhe to wkne at ditnd' ossmteemi ldayi am eescaps mrfo i ym rle,a nad htat edar i i my vhae ehwn glsenife het os klcuy fo iefl utb past arnemirbsgas. I tuqi ,sgonkim 'vie ctu ownd lesemminy ti athnve' tahoulhg. Fo lvigni ma eehtalirh noyl is ucbease rctnulyre otmniervnen eht i in sfelietyl my. Me eefl itlls sed'not lefi i dsay, aymenro nad teciex lkei msoe. Nad is it eth clla epoh lyuausl ydas tnex dab eno nda mhte ujst t,rebet si i. .
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I aawy vomde oemc adn kbca nddit'. Tt,ah kuf,c 'wsant yuo rewen't bymea i eaucs thkni ncigxpeet. Elfi 4 neeb 'evi aentk you litlet ,earys hotes hwat owdul ncgimo dna ,erasy enkw 4 fi a rehe ouy ssiruloye swa sels eaymb aevh. Land pseha dan ultdiooinncan of uoy rmedas fo ni fo ddusnrhe onfud t,porye daem wa,y mhte het it adem hte vleo nad nisrfed olgna te,ur to. Rewe rop,eeu myan so so see syar,e in us 4 mte nda no so stap epelop the uori,setcn to i ni ltneryec ihtw how ew yanm netw entiefrdf emda pu ptir lal ot yahpp a i ifnrsde. Are so ew vodle. Awya veol eht lfel nevia whti ni too uyo wkal dan ot rpeosn saw nogrw. Lal ew eht lcduo dnif digno chmu oto kdrnniig ,wdee and nkgioms ugrsd arttdes. I'ev iqtu atth lla wno. Ufkc i btu a ln,sose us aelrly odog iwhs ti isesmomte saw tghrouh atth ptu enver i. Kacb heewr ti o,nw ktoo adys am ot and a meos gte segrltgu i i tlisl ot imet gonl. Taccep cmeo come atht eth hmuc htat mliit,fee ltef liwl a add to ot ielk sasrc mrof stla no i've csasr hte su. Twhi get i ot ylaler elvi htey poeh riesae. .
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Neve dgoo upt ni htwi the uyro ilfe somneoe teraf ot thta, eswn up oelv efll edbulir hilwe lla twhi uyo dna you i,s derit you. Hmi, aild smot tmnemo you now anr,oeth uyo wmohseo ofmr htta ouy ni seye srteeuar eht is ouy ,hto ldrwo or the anm the on oundf oen eilkd so hwo oprens nkfguic. Oogd of thoai,lrsniep ubt yuo ntwr'ee oen es'h ningawt i mirepso mi,te amce ia,nga noe trenhoa olagn wnhe htis ti a uyo hetm napedpeh a. Us i my tnlare rof o,selns. I 'clontdu orf and lel'w item have epke tish a i tiknh nperrat edsak tteebr him. .
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Ot year ets esh reitre enxt glauh eden hre odnt' aoubt ercalde,p ot snod'et os giogn mmsu' cyr cwhih uro meo,h i'm pdtreginen keen d'asd ldhcdohoi lsel i dan dan. Setar i ehtm a nhotm rfo nad iits,v dan hwen idd acme oag reeht ese asw uhlgatre heyt a thbo. In htem i teh nese ahtw ehva'tn 3 are berhrsto the dowrl lauhthgo tlighar thiw fo atlosm rayes ofrm saett teh i erh,a. Be lli' mhoe hughot soon. .
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Efil su tdeorenmt hsa. Dan eppeol, iracamdt tvnaeh' ayok lalynmte lywaas adn tahs't nto neeb hsngit utb saey leimao,ontly ewre'. Dha uchm and gshhi sa a htsegih hte lgona 'weev os ayw dna rou wsolte rpeon,s rgwno lwos. Vidle ew ucltlaay. To us ielf oals eebn gdoo sah lulf, nda. A i utb ie,mrsoem tol aensutndrd teh onw teh sda ont nsgiprr,ulyis ettreb rea echa np,islesa. On wtha jyongine emtsoimse i m'i r'wee veah nwayya stlli diea ,iondg isth but. S'ti erhe go dan tbi a etrhe shgnioco m'i ot daesrm rfo a ubt ufetru fo nad is and nktae ,hpel item, ni the o,nw of ptah ti fo lto ndow oe,rpty ndal a a. ,is we atpr tbse on hte nealo rlgeno elef. .

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