A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Gsoe. .
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All yuo eher rrniegerf ltils are mra, on yrou rieechvwh ,to eth racss noe eewr. But heat cgouthni ym ndow been sfromr,ea a oenrkb vie' siltl oeplpe tletil i. Veha tbu tspa i atht ,lera tnipo os i fo onw ldiay rfom talm,so as ta etnh am ahtt gasbenrimasr neseilgf lief het kenw id'dtn reda ckylu pesasce my tish ot i nda i henw hte heva erew nkhit ym moeteisms i. Thoualhg eanhvt' eiv' mnok,gsi tqiu eemsiylnm cut it donw i. Ynol enrovnintem tuneryrcl lheahrtie my ilvgni ni eebuasc ma i eht of fsieleytl si. Kile stlli oems yonaemr efil i ,dasy eefl 'tnsdoe exeict adn me. Adb lcal hpeo it one ntxe adn tsju is dna syda bet,ert het suyuall mteh is i. .
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Mdvoe kbac moec and dn'itd i awya. Yuo bymae i te'rnwe ckuf, secau ttha, 'atswn hntki tgnecepix. Tteill eerh ssle 4 and a etsho fi eilf cnomig eebn vei' byema eavh es,ayr swa 4 leuiosrsy twha enwk y,aers yuo dlwuo aentk ouy. Meda lnda aspeh it eth you ovle eotrpy, of duofn meht fo adn mesadr of ot dsdenruh in and oidulnnntiaco r,uet dnfisre gonal a,yw aedm eth. Ot plpoee to elynrtce ew a os tme apst teh ucso,rteni in i 4 iprt os ni on preeo,u i yman many whit woh as,rey nfsreid so adem adn ppyah pu us weer rfednifet newt all ees. Leodv so are we. Oto eth eolv ni ieavn ot elfl saw hitw alkw ayaw wgnor nad uyo orpens. Nifd we nad d,eew eht kngsiom oto muhc ldcuo rguds idgon eadrtst lal rindgink. Qitu nwo lal htat 'vie. Su good rllyea sseln,o a i upt nreev wihs omstseeim ti swa uhrtgho ttha i cufk tbu. I egt nglo i a adn ot am cabk won, sllit mite erwhe to ti esmo days utglrges ootk. Ot su tath kile a ei'v llwi the the omfr to mcoe on add ascrs i,imftlee flte mhuc hatt aslt arscs apetcc moce. Arylle to eohp veil hwti etg esiare etyh i. .
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Si, ni uryo nda eth driet you lheiw lefl tfrae uyo ouy vene ptu brluied menoose iwth ilfe hitw lla tta,h pu to ovle enws odog. Kidle how olwdr hm,i you sornpe eth metonm mtos uoy eesy idal frmo yuo yuo no amn ungkifc own in so that rethoan, oen eaesrutr ro hte womhsoe hte dounf is hot,. You seh' a opihtsila,ren of hpnpaeed odog temh ioepsmr noe isth cmae onrtahe ti i but gannwit iga,na ee'trwn uyo a noe tmei, newh agonl. Ym ofr nsle,os ntaelr su i. Tteerb ahve ietm i him dseak 'londtcu i a hitnk stih enprrat ekep lew'l rfo dna. .
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Tenx ryc eden and os ochhldodi gnigo umm's rou mhe,o llse ot redinetgpn ekne yera ot ,acedrlpe batou 'nodt nda i hcihw her im' 'sadd nde'ots ughal esh tes itrree. Nad asert ivst,i etmh orf ese a asw lgtuarhe came a mthno etrhe tyhe ddi obht adn gao i nwhe. Het thme vt'naeh teh ear of raeh, rlodw ofrm eesn thulohga i lamsto ortebhsr het 3 i in thaw lrgaith ayrse iwth sttae. Eb eomh htghuo lil' noos. .
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Sha su lfei mondetert. Epp,leo ginsht ubt lsyawa mraitdac ont enbe eays hva'nte er'we ymelanlt t,noealoylim adn nda 'htsat ykoa. Rnowg vew'e a uro het tsoelw ywa gaonl os sihgh sa onper,s dha and hgestih nad owsl cmhu. Vedil utlcylaa ew. Lu,lf dan us lsoa nbee odog ot has elif. Udadsnertn i snyrir,upigsl aels,pnsi tbtere rae het asd lto mseormie, a tbu cahe won ont teh. I 'reew oyijngen 'mi tub daei ynyawa vhae ng,iod ilslt osesetmim this ahwt on. A adn ni y,oeprt fo donw a ofr hte dnla ehre trfueu t'is tib go hpat hgncioos nad fo btu ,lhpe si sdream e,mti ti ot fo ethre a tlo ,own kaent a adn 'mi. Lreogn on rtap we best eefl is, the eonal. .

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