A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Osge. .
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Eevhwhrci ewre teh girrnfree rouy ar,m you eno sracs ltsli rae rhee no o,t lla. Eebn loeepp a i tub ngciuoth 'ive lilts eliltt bkoner ym athe nwod arfsrem,o. I aseecsp and tneh i at saersbgramin hte cluky onw astp tdn'id newk atht fo i ointp ared i ngleesif eerw msoieesmt feil to ym wenh so thta aveh ihst mfro ,matlso hte as tub adyli evha i ma my inkth l,rea. Hnat've i v'ie hahulgot uct it im,sgkno owdn ymesnlemi tiuq. Of scabeue am ni nylo i rlreucnyt ym nrnoivmteen is lvgini esflyilte het eelhithra. Eitexc ielk dys,a fele me i mose oramyne tns'eod lstil nad iefl. Uyllaus si het dan rettbe, adsy bda acll heop utjs si it adn etmh nxte eon i. .
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I akbc coem adn wyaa vemdo ddti'n. Aht,t ntaws' cgipnetxe bmeay rewe'nt you ukcf, eusac i ktihn. Aws slse if nad vie' neeb aer,sy estho uyo nkwe twha vhea ilef 4 reeh a yuo rlesiyous kaent dwlou 4 elltti cmongi e,sayr aeymb. Nudof hpsea dlna wa,y nad of het mead aglno ,rtepoy ovel ouy the fo dfrines e,rut maserd mhte untdioioancln dan euddsrhn edam to of it in. Tem eeolpp so ,easry dan up 4 anym ew ot het nleytcer preeu,o aedm on enwt a su irtp nifsedr rewe mnya unseto,cri pats i see ot lla i wtih hwo fnirtdfee os in pypha ni os. Os ldevo we aer. Het nwogr elfl swa oepsrn lawk to dna iwth uoy loev nivae in oot aayw. Gonmiks teartds rsugd ucold lla gdoin cuhm ede,w teh we nda ifnd oto kgindinr. Atht all nwo ituq iev'. I swa yellra tath ihsw esitsoemm us btu l,esnos tpu ti revne dgoo i rhhutog a cufk. Ewreh usrgegtl ti onlg to toko emti ma to wo,n i a i sdya bkac tsill etg some nda. Lliw us stal ot teh ,eftemlii keli much ecom a eth dda sascr ttah asrcs to 'iev ecom cetcap ahtt form on lfte. Live ot heyt etg i wiht hepo alyler ersaei. .
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Senw eevn flle nda efil pu leov ooenmse all lwieh yuo ruoy thwi ,is put rfeat uoy eulirdb eth doog twih ot ni etird ouy tah,t. Now woh ,ihm psneor lodrw uonfd ouy no ommetn the ouy urtasere you os het eth gfkcuin ormf ertno,ah is or noe ladi tsom oth, ledki in anm ewomhso ouy eesy atth. Ahpnedep enhw but thsi ti 'she lgnao uoy i itngwan t'ewnre mit,e of ehtonra ogod you oen a iprsmeo neo hemt rsnlpieo,atih gn,aia acme a. I for su lse,osn ym artenl. Ietm ewll' ekep terbte tonul'dc dan veah mhi sedka ptarnre i fro i khnti iths a. .
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Tnex reh cperae,ld itreer ryc tbuoa im' ndto' to so set dda's dn'seto hse ot entpregidn idlodohhc s'umm dnee gigno dan erya chwih uro aluhg nkee nad esll eomh, i. Newh hotb a nad ese was did rthee siti,v cema thye aog hemt ohntm i tesar fro htlgeaur nda a. Attse the reysa h,rae hiwt i teh ofmr i aetnhv' wlrod hloathgu hte tmeh rae nsee in 3 atwh igthlar of astmol etrhosbr. Hoem thhogu oosn be ill'. .
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Hsa us ifel reotetdmn. Tbu myntllae nda 'wree okya saye yswlaa ,eppole nto eebn tavehn' ts'hat miy,etooalln dcmtraia nda sgnthi. Way ihghtse tesowl dna as mcuh os uro lows evwe' ghhis dah dna a hte worgn spr,oen lngao. Ew luayclta vdlie. Lf,lu ahs dan godo ot flei us soal bene. Dsa het nwo ru,nirslisgyp dturndnase het otn i echa ear utb a olt esaslnip, r,oemmeis ebertt. Hits diae i i'm njoyieng eavh utb idn,go hwat lslti wree' tmsoeeism no wanayy. Rof st'i reyop,t nad it rehe wond arsemd of btu gnhiosoc tbi si a ketna hpta a hte lnad dan a fo dna fo og ni a mt,ie ,hlep lto ehrte 'mi own, ot uuefrt. Erlong alneo s,i ew teh part ebts efle no. .

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