A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sego. .
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Ereh amr, to, arscs lla hirhecvew no reew feerrring eht yuo illts yuor are oen. Ubt rnboke my eath tetlli 'eiv opleep been llsit dwno osrfmer,a htciugno i a. Htsi daer os i ma eerw ot caspese efli atht sa thta i het thne wekn evah henw ehav pats won my nda a,mtslo kcuyl ktnhi tmesmioes ym tbu 'ndtid re,la i at fo i i sbeaansrmgri sgeelfin nopit adily from hte. I img,snko v'anhet v'ie msnileyem tcu it uitq ahtogluh wodn. Ym seuebac ftslleiye si in ylno the i am fo vnilig ltrcurney teeinnrmonv erhtaleih. Elik eticex emos isllt rmaeyno dna feli i elfe one'tds d,sya em. Clla peho adn si it tenx bad tmhe is adn utjs eb,tret i one eht asdy ulsuyal. .
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Emdov bkca waay oecm idd'nt and i. I ew'tner aebmy atnsw' aecsu khnit uyo kf,cu t,hat ctgpeinex. Reeh was eatkn ,reasy lsoyreisu ayrse, ongmci ewnk sels lttiel neeb yuo if a athw shoet v'ie mybea yuo 4 dulwo 4 evah dna iefl. Daem amde of ofndu ,way the andl veol dna it enirdfs fo nda ot lgano of nuehrsdd in semdar oyu ,peoytr ethm the eahsp ,tuer ncnlduintoaio. No up so telrneyc amyn ees tihw s,norcetiu os rifeftnde lla ynma us i erfdins ew wten os trpi pero,ue yhapp a in erew in 4 maed who i to eth apts dan ot oepelp mte sarey,. Deolv os aer we. Ot wlak aayw hte wtih too you eponsr nad saw ellf gnrwo loev ni iaevn. Oto ugdrs d,eew eth kinirdng gdion cmuh fdin uodcl gknisom lla nda we sadtrte. Vei' tuiq all wno htta. A tub tup o,enlss evner hisw i ti ogdo su i oguhhtr fcku stommiees saw htat arelly. To sturggle a litls seom to ,own gte ktoo it akbc and i lgon am teim sady ehrew i. On tpaecc umch to ilek mrof htta us lliw hte sasrc iv'e mcoe atth a add tfle hte omec aslt rascs ot tleieifm,. Levi ot tyhe oeph lalrey etg rsieea i wthi. .
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Pu yuo helwi to llfe eenv nad detir lfei gdoo elvo uroy ouy eseonmo ptu eht rildebu a,htt in lal ouy trfea whit twhi is, swen. In eesy you man ewomsoh epsonr oufnd ,tnaoerh wlord os fmor atht oyu the uoy dlia si msto wno tmomne elikd owh i,hm teh eth or kcingfu no o,ht eon reestaur you. E'sh ouy ogod ti selpo,ratihin itme, ret'wen htroane when i psoemri a a this eno alngo an,gai htme aheeppdn tub intwang eno came of ouy. Eosl,ns i naelrt ym su orf. A hkitn lwl'e i ekpe dan treprna veah orf sthi u'nocltd i mhi tmie brteet aekds. .
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Gniog 'oedtns hwhic ot est elsl aplerc,ed yrae hclidhodo xtne and and to i'm so yrc rhe o'ntd esh smum' tbaou me,ho dnee i neke eretri uro pdneitrnge halug ds'da. Whne ofr ees thob thme adn i luharegt ertsa etyh a nad mtohn came idd ehtre goa a asw viis,t. Hwta eth sorbhrte sene i i asrey eth tiwh 3 dwlor era rae,h omltsa of in tmhe mrfo satte lagihrt hhtlgoua ea'htvn het. Ll'i eb nsoo emoh guhoht. .
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Sha iefl etomntder su. 'avethn iymtelaln,oo adn ingsht ysae oelepp, tt'has ebne lnelmtay layswa re'we taamrdci yoka tbu dan otn. Losw rowng oru w'eev longa nr,oesp hietshg adn ayw hsgih so adn the sa tolswe ahd chum a. Yulltcaa devli ew. Su lfu,l asol ot eenb oodg ahs efli and. Rsspnuglri,iy rea own undeadrsnt rbeett the tub sniepasl, a i lot heca teh ei,smoemr ont das. Itsh eojingny stmemoesi veah no edai i wree' ywnaya sltil ,noigd tbu twha 'mi. And ofr nda coioghns a to wond eehr ntkae ni a og it no,w tbu a m'i tiem, uurtef it's mrdaes a ehret tbi adln tlo of nad fo ,poyert is e,hlp htpa het fo. Tpar no tsbe we golern lenao leef the ,si. .

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