A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Oges. .
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Neo royu weer all yuo m,ra hree arcss no o,t rfierrneg still rae the virhehwce. Nbee tbu taeh a neobrk igchtuon iltsl leltit eeppol esfrao,mr ym i ve'i donw. I i iyald ym gleefnsi ,arel i oasm,tl aehv sa ym ta ma hsit os mofr ptas cyklu nda kwen i ttha seaespc ntpio hatt nhkit het onw evha iefl i ethn eth erbsgasramni ewer of edra tbu ot ewhn msosemeti t'dndi. Hntva'e hluhagto it qtiu e'iv emesilmyn ,gnkmsoi nowd ctu i. Am is i fo ihretaelh igvlin ecauseb ym nylo tlsfiyeel inmevotrnne lrctyenur the ni. Ifel moes i eelf lkie em lslit yamreon teexic adn d'otsen ,ayds. Ehpo het adb it mhet is i ujts sluyaul lcal one and is asdy nad b,rette etxn. .
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Dan i odvme cbak ndtd'i oecm ywaa. I khtin npeigxtce fc,uk ucaes an'tws byema uyo th,at enrtw'e. Usrsiyole emyba ery,sa uyo if seray, setoh uyo cinmog eifl 4 less asw eher a htaw ltelti dan hvea 4 etnak lwoud nebe wnek iev'. Hsape ot senhrdud anonitlduinoc mearsd uyo in peoyt,r emht nda fo oelv ut,er amed nlad ywa, eth nad made of it het longa esrfndi odnuf of. So dmea teh os rdffntiee dna elycrnet emt on itrp ,reeopu ni a hwo ot reew mnay i with ewtn ese i ot in 4 su plepeo rtuneo,csi namy ew pu hyapp snrfdie so lal satp esrya,. Os eodvl are ew. Espnor hte in dna gornw lkaw lveo oto away ot aeniv iwht yuo wsa llfe. Mhcu find oto uldco oding ew gimnosk nda srdgu the ,deew nkgniidr all tedtars. Won e'iv tqui atth all. A ogthhur llyera ubt nsos,el whis ernev i kcuf ti ahtt doog emsitosme swa us utp i. Ti get ot ma ogln srleugtg itme herew itsll and i onw, okto a kcba ot soem sady i. Hcmu teh that tceacp mfor su on ot a tlfimi,ee elik rcsas lwli aslt add tefl cmoe asscr ecom tath teh i'ev to. I gte teyh leiv eisear wiht ot llarey oehp. .
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Somoene lief hwlie ouy is, uoy uoyr dogo adn up eraft to with yuo tup lla in atth, hwti ellf derit vleo lberdui news eenv the. Guicnfk ro eno the no oyu nma mtonem yuo onw deilk uoy enrhat,o so yuo raesetur aldi ahtt the eth ,oth tsmo who syee si dwlro ufnod ropens ni hewosom ,imh omrf. Ouy a a fo one odgo nahpdeep nhreoat but ehnw tmhe noe m,iet rn'ewet tngnaiw i ti you sh'e htis ecam ogaln prisemo a,gian lhaie,psntroi. Snosel, rfo su i ym anetlr. A no'utdcl knith orf tsih evah dkeas i keep ihm adn tertbe imet wel'l i rerntap. .
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Ihcwh aery niggo to otuba ycr hes 'smmu nad 'im i reh oru eedra,lpc dsda' xetn adn hdclodoih eitrre lesl gretipnnde hoe,m d'tno tsd'eon glahu so ot ste eedn eenk. Orf sviti, hntmo oag a nda athrlueg hyte ddi a aws ewnh hobt trehe nad thme i see stare ecam. Iwth i in fo htem oghautlh era ighlart het hte eastt mfor ayesr 3 sene ostrbehr ar,eh he'nvat altosm dowlr i eht waht. L'il be osno omhe hotghu. .
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Toedrnetm sah us lfie. E'rwe tinghs nmlaylte micdrata ysea ont hatne'v adn and tub asylaw l,nmyteolaio oyak bene pe,lpeo att'sh. A ruo anlgo nad w'eve os oswl eth nad ,pnroes awy as wrgno had elwsot hmuc ghhis ghethsi. Ulcalaty evild we. To u,lfl nda us odog bene aslo life has. Lsenasp,i the retetb onw gilu,riynrsps astnrddune i nto utb ahce a tol m,reiosme hte are das. I ewre' waht utb 'mi aynway tsmemoeis yeijnogn llist ahve on diae niod,g sthi. Nad ni a tbi of dna le,ph of it and ,etim but saremd i'm nisochgo og a of a a thap ndow for si eht 'tis teher ot onw, lnad hree enatk tlo ,eyotpr fuutre. Aneol roenlg teh on we atpr sbte ,si elfe. .

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