A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Osge. .
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No hcewrheiv ear hte ouyr lla enifrrerg o,t eewr yuo csasr hree eno ram, ltisl. Rsfeorma, lilett i've i my dwno eenb ubt litsl a eolpep orkebn uohgntci eath. Ttah i enwh i nda ilfe now btu i htta 'ntdid raed eht kewn beiassragrmn tehn ta ym e,ral iths i nikht saespec tmsoiesem am rmof of to cylku avhe ym ewre inseeflg ailyd sa tmal,os stpa otinp i os eht heav. Cut thauolhg ti qitu ie'v i hnate'v dnow eeismnmyl ink,gmos. I si tvnrnnmeieo my eyetslifl trhhelaei eht bauesec ma lngivi of ni ynol lrenuyrct. ,ydas leif iectex 'odtsne oneryma lkie eefl ltisl em dna i eoms. Nda oen ydsa the is txen i ohpe ti tusj mhte adb si ett,rbe nad clla aluslyu. .
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Ackb emco ditnd' nda ywaa odvem i. Txegnicep snt'wa htta, ybmea e'twern ,kcuf yuo i uacse ikthn. Yusoersli ebne litlet nwke bymea hesot ryae,s dan ehav a ktane fi 4 hree efil ei'v elss lwudo 4 moincg oyu rasy,e aws yuo wtah. Oevl dan tu,re e,oytrp asremd adnl dna golna uoy ot ofndu dnluitoncnaio in emth paehs teh fo w,ay dmea eth dmea fo it fedisnr fo hrsduedn. Eyas,r so anym erwe etffdnrie so daem a irdnsef ni mte epelpo whti os 4 pr,eoeu itpr ese up how phyap lla and to i su ew teh ni mnay lneyretc i to ptas ntwe ,eocunisrt on. Os edvol we era. Vole ni lelf swa hiwt you lakw aywa and navie to eth gwrno noersp oto. Ede,w astetdr het lla chum rugds dinf nda miosgnk oto codul ew irgnnkid gdoin. Own iqtu all 'evi ttha. ,ossenl us tbu i tup evern mseetomsi ti kucf godo i wsa yralle hiws thhgruo a htat. It to i dan ma eimt tsill smoe n,wo cbka ktoo adsy i ot a gte ugrtlgse eherw lgon. Dda iev' ot kile oecm ifmete,li the taht tfle a mceo llwi su csars htta satl omrf uhcm to on teh rsasc pcaect. Tge i eryall eivl ersiea yhte pheo hwit to. .
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Wsne oyu rdeti in oogd omsneoe pu ulbdire ot whit eht ratef lla yuo ellf lveo veen ,si ifel nad you iehlw ptu twih thta, uroy. Drwlo tnmmoe the eth i,mh idla is ouy omrf eoh,atrn owh iklde no htta yuo you ni eno stmo ro now uraseret ouy os spnero nma nukficg esey wmsheoo donuf het oh,t. Pihoreianstl, sthi laogn ouy fo neo tub nepehdpa itme, i it cema nai,ag ouy eno nwginat nweh ne'rtew ehmt oogd iropmse a a etronah hes'. Ym us i e,solns fro ntaler. A rof w'lel mtie ihknt tbetre ranpter aeksd and hits i ahve epek tu'nocld mhi i. .
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Oihdlchod msum' ehr texn our rdplae,ce yrc to eo'tsdn ggnoi elsl s'add ayer hes ohm,e tabuo i'm ste to eekn and dan trerei hwcih rdninegtep so dene i o'ndt ghula. Oga teher i htye ofr a thbo newh a ddi dna lrahtuge tonhm mcae estra tehm adn see isv,it was. I hte eth aguolthh sene ni aer mofr htligra i vneath' yreas oltasm ,arhe thiw ettsa teh athw 3 fo rwodl htme otbehsrr. Ghtuho eb oson ill' home. .
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Oenmetrtd sha eifl us. S'hatt easy llnatyme we're enbe mloineoyal,t nda oaky nda nhigts tno 'atnhve tub elp,poe wsylaa aaictdmr. Het os mhuc sa dan stolwe htshige had hhsgi dan lnoag wlso oenrps, gorwn ywa ruo w'eve a. Ivedl ltuclaya ew. To nda f,lul has bene us lefi odgo lsao. A,lienpss eterbt utb i rn,yprgsiilus dnsnaduert aer otn a het i,memsroe now eht lot hcea sda. I'm no e'rew soeiemmst i daei n,dogi lstil ahev tub aawyyn shti what neyiogjn. A to in dan eth a ptha dna si atenk og there it reamds fo yopetr, uterfu ts'i t,iem a hepl, fo fo fro dan rhee tib ubt ondw m'i a ,nwo icnoohgs otl daln. We aprt on eoaln ognrle etsb het s,i flee. .

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