A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Oseg. .
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Uory lal ,rma yuo ewre on ,to listl eno ereh rae eht rsasc hhvcireew egnrifrre. Tahe ive' itletl nwod ym ubt tllis rebonk gcotiuhn a i rmf,oaser eneb peoepl. Fo nkew as i but tinkh eth i to so ,amtslo heav drea nhwe rla,e then weer atth fmro otmissmee i eth ym td'idn gmarsnarsbei ym cseasep ma isfnegle now htta lfei potni ptsa lckyu ailyd ta hsti i vhae nda i. Ondw utc i ha'vnet iom,gnsk ie'v emmilysne qtui it ghahtoul. Am tunlerycr neitnenmvro olny of ym nviigl ubecaes ihreaehlt i eth lsfeeyitl si ni. Llits xeecti dtn'soe me fiel sad,y flee esmo mnyaero lkie i dan. Juts alyulsu oen clal htme ysad nda dab b,ettre eth it i peho nad si xnte is. .
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Ckab adn wyaa i ocme omedv dtin'd. Yameb asecu i eiexcgtnp ntrw'ee kntih ouy ,atth satnw' u,fkc. Antek life have ohtse wken oyu fi neeb nad a uyo asrye, uoldw 4 essl ereh esoyirslu 4 arsye, lliett 'vie nomcgi waht aws yabem. Eth ya,w adn you etry,po adn olouictndinna fondu hte dmae rdsifne longa to resdam duenhsrd fo it ,eutr in sepah lnda fo ethm fo eadm voel. Us eleopp to so ohw mayn lal thiw teh nyeectlr ppahy up os deam tem on ,yaesr amyn rtie,socun tnew spat fndreis tpir ewre ueeorp, i a nda in so see 4 ni ew rfdnetefi i to. We os era odvle. You adn olev aklw thwi in ot vanie the ellf rwgon srpone ayaw aws oot. All gdsru ertstad umhc dna hte oot nfid gmsokin drngikin wd,ee ew oindg doucl. Lal own atht tqiu 'vei. Lnsoe,s metosmsie wsih enerv i i ogdo htta rllaey ti btu a hotgrhu upt ckfu swa su. Meti to bcka osem utrglgse i ot it own, ydsa herew get otok ltsil nglo dan i ma a. Cptaec no thta llwi add 'vie tlsa ceom a ttha sarcs su ot liek srsac cumh mcoe ,emileift het hte tfel rfom to. Lraley tiwh htey reiaes tge to i heop ilev. .
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Het hiwt uyro uyo ,atth lla rtdie uoy s,i lwhie pu oenmsoe ni uelidrb fell utp sewn fatre ifle vnee nda to oyu iwht ogdo evol. Orfm won osoemwh ospren oyu ekldi omentm aild nfdou uyo eht thner,ao gicfnuk or nam ,hto oyu htta ,mih teh oyu seey ni het world rtesreau no os eno somt is owh. Mthe tihs ouy a antwnig i fo tarehon tub itrihseplaon, enwh gdoo ti noe ng,aai emac rempios 'ehs dnapephe yuo one olang a rwe'etn ,temi. Us ym orf lsen,os realnt i. Teertb khitn him a i cdntoul' nrptera tmie sthi i dseka dan have ekpe orf e'llw. .
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Iwhhc seh 'im eitrre os emho, igong ot yrea ereigpdntn xnet tse i ryc tnod' c,repalde and o'dtnse loodhcdih haulg lesl ot erh enek nad tabuo s'mmu dads' dene rou. Mhte a othb ersat and see for hewn nad oga aws ereth aturehgl v,itis tehy tmonh idd i eamc a. Nese reah, 3 lghtrai ofrm in fo the itwh het the rae i thorrseb e'ahnvt erasy hwat sltamo testa odlwr i hhtulgao temh. Ghhuto eb oemh lil' osno. .
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Su mtetenrod ash ifle. And we'er dna ardcamti but iooylanlemt, waalsy ts'hta otn e,leopp saey itghsn ytnmllea ykoa neeb hvn'tae. And ithgseh v'eew rngow het a hshig as adn aognl hcum sotlwe uor dha slow so yaw sonper,. Videl we laultayc. Su ielf ot dan lu,lf has good nebe sola. ,isaelnps ,grssipinurly onw a heca sda eht ear ont i ubt udtesdanrn ,moeisrme otl ettreb the. Ywyaan llits wre'e ubt i gnenoiyj iade heav hatw gondi, sith no eemistosm 'im. Bti a nda og hatp it rheet 'mi ni iem,t phel, of tnaek of t,rpyeo and ehre nad a wndo alnd 'its lot a hcoogsin is teh o,wn amresd to but retufu of rof a. Lenoa the on ratp etbs i,s ew eelf elrogn. .