A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Egso. .
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Lla aer noe you uyor irnerefgr sracs a,rm to, iltsl on hwehievcr ewre eht erhe. Borkne a i ym tocgnhiu tub nwod eenb ltilte v'ei heat fors,mera eelpop illst. I i evha sasepce eht omfr atsp i aler, atth i nekw i efnelsig hatt my ym ewer diyla ntkhi nt'did shit of so tbu ilfe at rdae vhea ,omlast enth am otpin aimrgrbesasn as hte ot and uylck wno wenh toemeisms. Ev'htna ev'i uolgathh m,nsoikg i ctu syimmenle tiuq nwdo ti. Iglivn sifeltyle in eetirhalh cebseua rtunrlecy ma fo nylo tenrenvoinm ym si hte i. Ielf dna iltsl n'dsote i me eelf osme a,dsy meanroy cxeeit liek. Poeh dab dna lyualus llac it si etmh eth dasy i trteeb, noe just nad is texn. .
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Acbk oemdv nad waya i emoc 'niddt. ,cukf eucsa wn'tas yuo ntkih i 'ewtrne ybeam ha,tt petcignex. Ldouw lilett nebe newk dan you feil beyma ysreoiuls slse oseth netka mnocig a arys,e if 4 here 'vie was ahtw 4 vaeh uyo ayrse,. Ni hemt ,yaw naucltdoionin edam eth saphe dan dunfo of nad daln ,uret p,oreyt emadsr ngaol fo to it dema the ddnerush you evol dfsirne of. We astp ohw so os 4 pu tpir ey,rsa uerepo, went mte ewer i so a rtedfefni eht ymna lal ees i appyh ni tlercyen many to ri,ceunsto ni eamd adn ifdsnre us thiw epopel on ot. We era so oldev. Ellf aayw iwth seponr ni dna eniav gwrno ouy the elov asw lawk ot oot. Oto rtasted ifnd oducl drusg ew nad hcmu all ndigo mgsonik eht knniirgd dw,ee. 'iev ttha all tuqi wno. Eyllra godo upt os,nlse aws cufk i eenvr i siwh hatt a ugorthh msmietoes ti su utb. To tiem a tkoo am i ltresggu won, akcb etg ogln and wreeh i to sdya ti lilts smeo. Mceo no fmro dda eocm eftl acsrs ot su ot tath het htat like evi' hte stal liwl chum ,fteeilmi etacpc cssra a. Ot htwi ehpo i tge ayrlle eiesra ehyt vile. .
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Ot in vnee ritde eht thiw your vleo uoy yuo ,is snwe ,ahtt nda tihw oyu iwhle dogo up ilef upt fell seomeon eluirbd lal rtfae. Nsrpeo you idlek uondf th,o os uoy aild ewooshm eesy msto tmnemo ,him in is ro kugfcin reuatsre nma won hte on h,rontea oyu how atth eth eht neo orldw rfom ouy. Lgoan i ti gnitawn eapdenph eipmosr fo a yuo 'esh ethm yuo good enwh neo ia,ang noe aiesrhitonpl, tub tihs a raheotn meca iemt, 'trenew. Lnrtea ym l,snsoe us i ofr. Hmi colnd'ut l'elw mtei i esakd for a ihts peke i dan tteber anptrer veah tihkn. .
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Going einrgpdetn wichh ,ohme nad ehr ot hagul tes etnx ohocddihl so hes rcy to adds' ae,cpdler nad baotu eekn ruo mmus' 'im i eden ryea rreite llse d'not 'sdonet. Tmhon i a ese tohb rof swa nda htye three tivs,i eamc did esrat adn aog when a lerughta meth. Tahw i dlorw houtlagh olatsm bothresr hvnat'e rmof eth i eht 3 fo rhae, htwi the asyer nsee saett are lrthgai hetm ni. Soon hmoe eb ohguth ill'. .
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Lfei sha edmrntoet su. Myntelal aveht'n asye adn nda yoa,ontlmlie eppoe,l ubt gitnhs laawsy 'erew tsha't amiratdc not okya bnee. Dna higsh our lsow wya so sghhite wnogr had nda ,ensrop sa teh lwoets aolgn v'eew a mcuh. Utllayac we deliv. Us sha llu,f aosl ebne leif dan to dogo. Echa ear bertte own lot eudtsanndr i ads tno snupi,siyrglr a but hte mireme,so nela,spis the. Tbu awth thsi aied miestsoem im' eavh nyaway go,idn lslit i no egnnyijo r'eew. Of naket dna eher mi' uertfu but nad ti sademr tlo a to nad a pl,he si adnl ishogocn a ptha ni hte dnow of ,iemt theer go ,own t'si rof r,opyet ibt of a. Rpta tesb si, nreglo we aoenl elef on the. .