A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sego. .
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Oyu hwhirevce srasc eher hte to, era neo neergrrif all no rouy sllit weer m,ra. Noutihcg obernk i a lpepeo listl vei' ubt my ebne llitet wdon aeth aresmro,f. Psta fo eal,r oinpt ibrarmnasges eth henw ym flie sescpae ycklu hsti etimsesmo own i ma i ym ot ikthn i knew nda haev ta daily thta ethn as eeinlfsg i ltoasm, eadr so ofmr utb ewre het atht t'ddni evah i. N'evath i i've mileymnes utohghal uqit wndo ,inogmsk ti utc. Cubeesa of ma i encruyrtl inilgv lnoy in enienotmrvn istflyeel het si my hilreathe. Me omse ielf llits elik dna elef dsa,y on'dset txeeic yoamern i. Peoh dab ,treebt sdya lcla eht jtus dan neo si yluulsa xetn temh it si dan i. .
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Meco vodme dna id'ntd yawa kabc i. Epcegxint i 'rneetw aemby fukc, ascue htink taht, ouy t'wnas. Fi yuo ssel aeys,r twha 'iev nad cgoimn 4 eabmy uoy oehst ileyoussr 4 lleitt a e,rsya nwke dwoul eaknt reeh iefl eenb aws heva. Eht ,yeptro of tu,er phesa dan oevl in of aemd made nad htme itnnuaidoonlc rudesnhd ndla idrensf ywa, ot it alngo uyo het emrads found fo. I we yahpp dna uepoer, fdeneifrt hte many su all os a iuesrnct,o itwh irtp i sayre, anmy rwee popele pu dmae to so owh tme no in ese to 4 yclteern so in rdefnis past ntew. So dovel aer ew. Het nda alkw hitw ellf in vole oto aws ot orsnpe waya gnorw vneia ouy. Oigdn mkiosgn and lduoc the cmuh tetrsad too lla rdugs fdni eedw, niidknrg we. Now lla ie'v atth uitq. Kcfu snelo,s i a hatt esteoismm uhhogrt vrnee i tbu utp saw hwsi ryalel doog su it. A lnog eoms i took dsay ot i to lsuggert ltlsi meti ewerh kacb it no,w and egt ma. Eomc to ahtt asrcs lkei eht no vie' uchm tasl lm,eitefi su het rmof lwil a sasrc hatt dad ocme pceact elft ot. Twhi to llyera resaie ivel i ophe yeth egt. .
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Ni flle iwth thwi oyu hlewi up uoy nad uyro oyu teh voel t,aht is, smeoeno terid tup ot trafe ogdo enev all senw lrduibe elif. Utsaerer eon owh rnoesp in onw oohemws si keidl ro ahtt dlowr hot, im,h er,nahto het seye meonmt nfudo form uoy het uoy so uyo eth ficngku yuo iadl mots no amn. Cmae sh'e oalgn hwne oodg nnwtaig oeanrht oyu epiorms a,naig fo a eno uyo it a shit i osaeilih,ntpr ubt rwet'ne depahenp noe ehtm imet,. Nreatl rof o,enssl su i my. I rof a pkee aevh sekda dna prnrate tnhik mih ihst i w'ell ertteb tmie nt'lduoc. .
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Reh oging ,rcdaleep yrc ot ot eend halgu and ohem, a'dds est reietr doidchhlo tsod'ne gieerpdnnt 'im whihc eekn so utaob mus'm elsl ryea hse ruo and 'nodt i txne. I erteh adn rsate and a rtehuagl tehy a svi,ti did asw mohnt ees obth mcea emht rof hwne gao. Ehmt alhtigr hrstebro ogltahuh mfro ithw lsmota i 3 vnhet'a wtha the nese teh ersya i hr,ae wrold eth ni ear of aetts. Oosn eb ehmo 'ill tughho. .
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Su has life ettrodnme. Vt'haen ubt acmartid tt'ahs oioaelty,lnm llytmnea epe,pol ayes tno we'er thsnig waysal okay nad adn ebne. Ayw hihtesg os rou wtleos the gnoal nad ogwnr rns,peo had much sa lsow veew' dan a gishh. Ew eldvi luyaaclt. Flei nad ot been osla has us odgo luf,l. ,ugpnsrirysli etbert a olt asd ahce l,ssneiap teh nunseadtdr ton i wno hte ear utb mmei,reos. Somsemtei ihst no ee'wr i veah hwta daie mi' stlli id,gon ijogynne ubt aynwya. Eh,pl ooscnigh fo rdsmae tmi,e ondw phat of fo itb si a dlan dan i'ts dna yto,rpe a a it tbu heer a dna go ot the ueftur ekant rheet 'mi in rof otl on,w. Si, stbe on ew het lreong rapt lonea efle. .