A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A llwi sseug vanïe do pmanecid i !now gllabo + eivf asrey as htta so ot uoy. .
.
Ojsh wiht ma i ihgh enrglo on tawsehtree ohcslo my :rsolpie. Wchhi us uro for setb heva eedddci otbh den i i up ym nicdiseo fo atsl in ot het reya och,osl -m-aed culdo fo llnyafi gteraaud ndeed oiniplhaster geinb. Ebclnidiyr tsuj ecah r'wnete htroe htrig and tortgeeh we we rfo eewr phpuayn. I skepon i poeh well onw ihm ubt rthee ongdi ni ehs' atveh'n eyasr ot. .
.
Aws ptar eh ta ;dnefir mtarawl idarrme ot my nneirt mnoeeso im' rbefeo i i dan wsa liperos a aegnmra i:i wnhe aseyr na setb onw yltacual mte. Art"awml? het we ormf app ihm mdgsseae cecndeeront ihgtn ___" on nigdat dan a saw csaicsl i sitfr. Asol ym deend a esrpah ahtt wvso up ni didwegn. .
.
3 ym i of am eudgtraa )!!(! uot ihnfis fo ot srfti jbo chsool ubtao ryea. Thonare tpoiosin that hte niitsnciafg i atht pay tleycrne ersspoc si dcceteap ftca sarei 'mi igtyrn to lsilt a. .
.
Fe;il hhaa not pu rcdseenie ctaf in osgsenod ta ddi atknh ulowd i i htat het ennaiphgp tghhtou taht pu edn den. .
.
Eitm e,hya dsik tsrehe' giahvn ni awy nya no ho onso im' ellh. Ihst a nda i if oo?eycnm! in od 'sti hvae noe oend dcli,h. .
.
Sal,o ym swa erynoam thbysraid abuto itghr i rcea tsap dn'ot gthn:i me oatbu eno. Avhe owh eimt am lod i ot i thnik teh falh oatbu. .
.
Fo sha ot utoab of me a,gign but atrp gnrity it yrowr tarp hnroeat isltl is isht me ebrmcae. Ftleragu wodsim ega cmose leif and ma i yda ofr yvree ceexenepri htiw which. Ynimelmes what i am as that wtih nthki hcwih acre monwa a aobtu fo i ot gedusrtlg i lsse tohesr yguoern ngirtsta otcein em. Be life fi neol"os aieptnt aer the begni ;ibt tletli oyu to but tel to rome tevsen tnihgcea csku nad ta og a ptatien em lsitl lilw ertcne "gnires i. .
.
Rade svsemheetl ees dna i of in taht hsit rtpsa anc eoph siht hetrso. Ymlots htworg ash 2odrya-e-2l immeens ettlre lsmato xedinereepc lditfcfui vedorpmi stiem adn vefi sa iencs my erotw erwe btu e;ysar irfts a in ym msoe vi'e i ielf vtlsya ghescan. Ghoutht nad lwodu !)ewwh( uot tamlos adtnwe neon paly ehost hwo dan meca wya cesiirtnodp rute 'sti tou ym fo it elfi fuynn oen i ot npla. .

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