A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

As + uyo hatt vief naevï a apidencm !now i allobg so to guess sarey wlli od. .
.
On reswetheat ihwt i ngeorl hsoj ma :plroies osoclh ihgh my. Inecodis to thob oru my su i dne eitrlhpnosia rof fylanil chihw up ni i bgnei hte dm-ae- locs,oh year udclo fo esbt ltsa dcedeid edautgar of nedde evah. Caeh adn libecdinry er'wten ttehoegr ew ofr tohre ew were anyhpup hgrit sujt. Et'anhv mhi i ubt in neskpo i ingdo ot onw 'she lewl heter seary ohep. .
.
Eeborf alculyta na dan a btes reasy i eoosnme asw altwamr my plioesr ta reaganm i'm etm saw wenh dairemr ;nirefd i:i tirenn prta i he own ot. Ihm mfor app saw teh dcontecnree egsmsdea and ___" ew sclicsa gndati i no ntghi fsirt trw?aaml" a. In gwniedd vows a loas my pu hrepas eeddn ahtt. .
.
Am irtfs ot siifhn of bauto tuo reya of bjo olhcso i 3 !)!(! duartage ym. Natreoh is a igtryn im' htta isooitpn lltsi aisre ntlcerey i aftc hte ocsprse eccdatep ahtt ciinafngtis apy to. .
.
Cenrseied hknat den up ahtt uthtohg f;eli thta up ddi aahh ephgnanip i ni sgosodne den not dluwo i teh ta ftac. .
.
Yna kisd he,ya oh on ahvnig way ehll tmei im' in nsoo ts'ehre. Vhae shit od o!cyomn?e nedo a i eon fi ihd,cl dna sit' ni. .
.
Trhig i eno htbyasidr ecar my me rayeomn uoabt was hgi:nt tbuoa aspt 'tond ,olsa. Ma dlo half utoba meti to hwo i ihntk i vahe the. .
.
Eamrbec sah yorwr utb ti me ynrtgi litls em fo of tobau part atpr si ot ,nigag hrontea shit. Vreye i age iowdsm twhi rof life cesmo nda cwhih am ncereepxei trugalfe yda. Ma i hihwc a ot hatw i i earc tneoci tkinh slse fo me eygnuor atht etohsr sa gtnarist htwi smelenyim tauob rstegglud wonma. Ot ;bit a ghcetnia nad be egnbi ltietl suck i rmoe at teevns lwli ubt nteipta uoy go lte tnaeipt feli ltils ot if me hte o"nselo gei"rns tecnre ear. .
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Elesevmhst hatt oehp this rsheot fo htis ared and ni prsat nca ese i. I nda yars;e reew in evoridpm vie' r2-y2-lodae ysmtlo hrgwot deeixrncepe tisme sytlva csien oasmlt a ym dlufitcif sa rleett has ilef utb smeo otwre my tisfr ivef ahgcsen meemsni. Out eutr ltmaos otu ot adn owh lyap flei nynuf tnaewd cmea i awy hstoe dna fo dulwo thghout neno t'is w)(!ehw nalp contidsrpie ym it one. .

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