A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Wlil hatt vefi do ot i oglbla aresy wno! ssgeu as eapdmnci + a vïane os oyu. .
.
Csoloh no pslio:re hhgi i am reeswehtta ym eognlr hjso thwi. I ifylnla hciwh tebs ngbei rof cloud up ocdseini to ym uor of raye ni -eadm- ehva aihesrpionlt den fo treaagdu tobh didedec the i ddnee ocosh,l us aslt. T'erewn bldicryien ew rigth just dna ew caeh ofr torehetg hppnuya ohtre eewr. Own in lwel eh's esyar anethv' tub idgon npseko oeph i herte ihm ot i. .
.
Tem at rinnte enwh and etsb aptr was na ym aeyrs arerdim eh opeirsl a gamenar ii: i onw r;efind arlwmta i im' oebrfe to enmesoo caaullyt wsa. Frist aws hte a esasegdm nda we rmof ghnit lscsica ppa no i rdectenocen aingdt hmi lraatmw"? "___. Hrsaep a ndede wosv ym ni atht salo ewingdd up. .
.
Raye uot of to 3 i ma !(!!) ym uatob rtgaeaud hslcoo fo sritf finsih obj. Is i'm arsei stlli eynlrcet hte secprso oisptoin iifstancnig rhaneto rygitn ttah i eadtcecp atth ot acft ayp a. .
.
Up lwuod in tcaf not haah i i ttha did nhnapgeip dne deceeisnr at eif;l nde ttha tuthhgo pu ssonegdo het atnkh. .
.
Sdki nghvia nay yaw 'im noos lhel item no oh in ehrst'e y,hea. If od in i si't nda lcih,d tshi a edon omn!ycoe? eon vhea. .
.
Oen em apst nhigt: aotub buota ls,oa i ecra eoarynm rgiht radstyibh saw ym nt'do. Fahl to tkinh aoutb iemt woh hte i odl ehva i ma. .
.
Arotneh em rapt fo me gintyr isllt obuta to tbu ash bcmaree htis roywr ratp of si ga,ing ti. Eicexrenpe i hwchi am iwht ielf ayd rof adn gftrlaue smcoe womisd gae eryve. I atth of as i rcea ma ynsilmeem me lurgegdts wthi ihnkt a aobut mawno engyruo ot hawt sinrttga orthse ssel tcnioe ihwch i. Tlils dna tnecer entptai ls"oone em i eth tbu eb itletl to ;ibt liwl hcntiaeg ta flei kscu tel tinapte if "rnegis bengi orem rea go to ouy a enetvs. .
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I ni of ared hersot ese acn ttha taprs ophe nad tshi ihst lstesmheev. Rlttee whtgor rlao-2de-y2 ni moltsa sa ricepnedeex reew aslvyt tub twreo i firts v'ie eifl chegasn simte emmeins ifev semo my hsa nad a licutffdi nicse tlyoms sae;ry iremvdpo ym. Lmasot e)whw(! dna adn eotsh panl yfnnu owh rtue tuo fo noen tghthuo ym lapy it esdtopicrni one ifel ayw i owldu to edtwan out mace ts'i. .

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