A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Evif a so nmcdeaip lwli w!on ttah seyra i od ot + suegs you as labgol veanï. .
.
Htiw on teetsraewh rgolne gihh scohol ym sri:pole jsho ma i. Pu edn to hvae nliyfal tseb slta my engib fo of ni i hichw htob hte lho,soc raye aplhtiersoin for ruo uraeatgd duolc -ea-md deden i su iecdedd idcsnieo. Aehc weer sujt dna tgroethe ew ieycbdrlin igrth te'wern we huapynp oetrh fro. Ndogi oskpen i in utb lwle hpeo imh to ersya onw n'etvha i heter 'hse. .
.
Imadrre i adn i ot 'im ewnh walatmr my na agnarem mte wsa at fdnrie; eh tpar irnnet :ii onw clyaluta psoielr a nmseeoo asw erasy ebts efbeor. A trsfi we the hmi atgdni aeemsgsd app nda reentocencd asw no omfr "___ i l"wt?rmaa nithg acclsis. Loas a taht up ddwiegn hrpeas owvs ym in dneed. .
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Rtisf tuo eayr bjo ma uaobt !)!!( clohos fo hfisni of to i 3 ym gturaead. Htta iotsinpo ahtt eth haernot m'i litsl telyrcen cecteadp tfnsginiaci a tyigrn ossrcpe catf i to is siear ayp. .
.
Up fcat hte kthan uolwd hhaa nsceeride atth tno ni ogsdsone end did ta den ttha i f;eil heppignna up i ttughoh. .
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Se'hetr item avinhg lhel soon im' e,hya on yaw oh iksd yna ni. A if i do hidl,c iths evha in dneo oe!?mnoyc dna neo 'sti. .
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As,ol i me oaemyrn apts gtihr drsbthiya thing: ot'nd my earc tuoba tuaob eno aws. Eimt ma i ehva i ohw hte tobau tnhki flha to dol. .
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Rowyr ngtyri me has fo trap lstil ratp ubt ot is oetrhan n,gagi ihst of abuto em ti abrmcee. I ielf rfo eepxcnerie ma eeyvr adn moecs moswdi eag wchih hwti yda agufeltr. Sa ktnhi i wiht gusgrtdle a meynilsme ssel atht oubta oehsrt uyoegnr i earc oawnm wtah to hiwhc i fo tiarstng me econit ma. A you iebng iettpan i fi wlil l"noeso feil aer enitpta dan eb tercne em teh r"gisne cuks tahginec to btu still to t;ib remo at lttlei esvent og let. .
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Hits ared heestlevsm sartp can ees ohrets of shit i tath and epoh in. As aytvsl utb a ifle nschage escni idctufilf vfie 'vie tlteer ftirs dna hsa ensmemi i erwe edecxierepn ni aesry; ovpriedm d-orle-2a2y eortw emos my oytsml ym lmosta hgwotr emist. Hwo plan uot sthoe ywa eilf idoienrcstp nufyn oen fo i dwoul dan it atmlos ot dna )ew!w(h tugothh my teru apyl wdetna 'sit tou neno mace. .

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