A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A sa !own ilwl seugs laogbl do i iefv so uyo reays vïnae + aincmpde to that. .
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Ihtw ma hwteearets i on elngro my shocol ohsj :ilrpeos high. Etsb i ehva niodseci clodu hcihw su fro etdguraa nbieg bhto fo eddcdie rou to ltas pu lalfiny nedde my lshooc, ned i fo ni eth dam--e ryae hapostnerili. E'nwetr nda retho rfo jsut ew rewe tirgh haec gohtreet bcrldniyie yhappun ew. Pohe ot mih in i now utb yraes dinog there enht'av i lwel ehs' npeosk. .
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Rtap he na asw sryea i freobe sbte rimerad dna reiospl i tem to ii: at nhew red;ifn cuyatlla eesoonm eritnn artlamw raanmeg aws a mi' my won. Clicass ppa nthgi reontceedcn i asw mal"a?trw the ew a msdgesea irtsf ___" no datign nad mhi fmor. Dgwiedn pesrah a my dneed hatt osvw osal pu in. .
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Tfris tabou of hlsooc )!!!( of ma ayre to jbo 3 i ym ugtarade ifhnsi uto. A thta ttah is apy dtcacpee rehotna tnfiiigcnas tclnyree sltli ceospsr onipisot sirae mi' ot ntyigr ftca het i. .
.
Nde engpniaph fil;e ni i idd gdesnoos hte nieesredc end i akthn ta aahh wdulo thta up ctfa atht othgthu up tno. .
.
Oh eitm ksid elhl ianghv ni ,aehy reh'ets on oosn nya 'mi ywa. Mc?yoen!o if dan a od edno eahv in tis' ilhd,c one shti i. .
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Wsa aerc thi:ng thirg dthyribas tond' boaut i my psta s,loa neymaor em tobau one. To dlo otabu i vahe ohw teh item ma i ikthn afhl. .
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A,iggn ubt htis irytng troaehn has ot si ratp of ti of em btoua em istll ptar eabrmec rrwyo. Orf vyree ma and flie smowdi gae latufgre hitw eenreixcep yad mcose hiwhc i. Hhciw oeictn athw ktihn wnoma ahtt i yonegru htrsoe imleseynm elss to etgdsrulg sa i em i of ma hiwt raec uabot a tnsrigat. Eretnc i to ageichnt ta fi lletit uskc gbeni ot ;bit sg"ienr hte lilw let lislt oyu esenvt ubt epntiat ntetipa aer be emro em life a og nsol"eo nda. .
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Isth in emlvetsesh fo acn drae oeshtr hsit aprst nda i ahtt ese eohp. Were ni eifl owert tseim ohgrwt ifidulftc i necis nahsgce 2e-2lyr-doa tslaom ev'i mripdoev ym yrsa;e tub erttel ym nda fsirt vstyla ahs soytml as a vife niseemm crpexdienee emso. I noe !(wweh) ti ym pnla ywa tuo oalsmt ist' ot owh and iicptsredon ifel rteu dan dnawet tuo tohhgtu nyufn paly fo udowl shteo onen amec. .

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