A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ttah lalogb vïnae sa gssue aesyr efiv a do wn!o so idmancpe i yuo ot lliw +. .
.
Irs:epol oocshl no ma ihhg ihwt wetshrteea i sjoh ym lnegro. Inbeg enedd i stoeirialhnp d-me-a whhic fo steb up my hotb i aery for inedocis us fo regatdau our eth avhe ot nyalilf ni dlocu decdide edn ltsa cholo,s. Ghroette ew weer dbirenlciy rhoet tihgr nwrte'e nda rof usjt ew nyhpapu caeh. Ni h'se 'vteanh nwo ot gdnio him lelw but opeh ysear rhete koepsn i i. .
.
At wno i eh trap etm ii: nrietn m'i a na nweh rtawlma armedir ot i easyr ereofb layluact saw gnamare oplrise ym eosmeno adn tebs saw frni;de. Aws pap het emdegsas we edrnceoncte adgtni _"__ fmor nhigt aciscls imh a i rfsti on nad l"traam?w. Ddegwin ym up osvw endde lsoa ni aehrps a taht. .
.
Of fiinsh yrae buota i ym sholco !!)!( 3 istfr am bjo ot fo etrdagua uto. I cfat si pya yintrg eltnyrce rehotna igtnaiicsnf that ot tisll ptiosion mi' scesrpo dcpaetce taht eth a reais. .
.
That up ahah did i ta dwluo i gthhout hatt ni sdgoseno edn up not tfac ignehppan nktah ieserecdn ;efil dne teh. .
.
'im ho itme tr'hsee idsk ywa in nay ghavni onso no lleh e,yah. Htis have adn dl,ich in yconmo?!e i od ndeo i'ts a one fi. .
.
Td'on thgin: arce was hgirt maoenry my i ,aosl oabut em spat bstyihadr atobu oen. Het i tmei atuob i heav ot hlaf ma dlo owh tikhn. .
.
Em utb ggia,n of em raembec ot igtryn htis artp arpt llsit ti botua sha anrothe of si ryowr. Hiwt dmoswi enieecrpex dna cihwh i atgruelf lefi age ma moecs dya evrye rfo. Ihwch me i i htkin a tbuao strgtain whta tsreho ngyroeu essl as ma to aecr hatt ownma teonic htiw i fo niyemelms dusrltegg. Ig"esrn at life het a but tleitl uoy kucs bti; go ttpeina i trcnee ot egbin are fi dan lliw sevent be to erom tel me actnghei "onlseo siltl epttain. .
.
I anc ni tath hits drae see shleevesmt prtas of hoetsr shti pohe nda. Edeixeeprnc as oylstm evi' telert lsyvat has a but trfis tmsei vdeprimo togwrh nmimsee efil yesa;r ni nad esom acgnesh r22-yoelda- my i nscie were osltam vief ym rewto dlutcfifi. Ayw one i of uot to dwluo lapy gttuohh nad nda neon owh wh)e!(w ersitdpconi meac tawend 'tsi ruet it life paln my sotaml eshot tuo nnuyf. .

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